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She's sick and missing school. Again. UPDATE

CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
in Blended Families

When I picked up K yesterday afternoon, BM starts telling me that K has "had a lot of fluids but hasn't wanted to eat anything". Immediately K chimes in with, "I ate. I had eggos for breakfast and KFC after the park." Are. You. Kidding me?! I shake my head, grab K's hand and turn to leave. BM kept talking so I told her I needed to go pick my son up but to go ahead and text me or DH whatever else she needs us to know. I know I shouldn't have been surprised that K wasn't actually sick, but I was. 

As we're driving to get my son I ask K how her day was. She starts rattling on about breakfast, and her walk to the park, and going for ice cream "to cheer mommy up". I asked how her tummy was feeling (BM claimed K had been throwing up since Sunday night) and she tells me she feels fine and that she hopes mommy thinks she's "better enough to go to school tomorrow".

I understand that BM is upset about her break up with her BF. I understand that she's probably miserable being nearly 30 and living at home with her parents and brothers and sharing a bedroom with her daughter, mother and brother. I understand that it must be incredibly difficult to have your child go visit their father in his nice house with the family he's blended. But come on. Send your kid to school. Be an adult and don't let your child see you miserable and depressed and moping around when she should be in school with her peers. 

My husband an I spoke with his attorney yesterday about what happened and the issue with the transfer. The solution to keeping K at the school and not having her transfer revoked is to get it in the CO that K must attend that specific school. Essentially the school district would have to take BM and my husband to Court to relieve itself of that obligation. That seems like the best route, but how on earth does he start that conversation with BM?! "Hey since you're frequently keeping K out of school she's going to lose her transfer, so sign this Stipulation"?

 

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Re: She's sick and missing school. Again. UPDATE

  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    imagejobalchak:

    When I picked up K yesterday afternoon, BM starts telling me that K has "had a lot of fluids but hasn't wanted to eat anything". Immediately K chimes in with, "I ate. I had eggos for breakfast and KFC after the park." Are. You. Kidding me?! I shake my head, grab K's hand and turn to leave. BM kept talking so I told her I needed to go pick my son up but to go ahead and text me or DH whatever else she needs us to know. I know I shouldn't have been surprised that K wasn't actually sick, but I was. 

    As we're driving to get my son I ask K how her day was. She starts rattling on about breakfast, and her walk to the park, and going for ice cream "to cheer mommy up". I asked how her tummy was feeling (BM claimed K had been throwing up since Sunday night) and she tells me she feels fine and that she hopes mommy thinks she's "better enough to go to school tomorrow".

    I understand that BM is upset about her break up with her BF. I understand that she's probably miserable being nearly 30 and living at home with her parents and brothers and sharing a bedroom with her daughter, mother and brother. I understand that it must be incredibly difficult to have your child go visit their father in his nice house with the family he's blended. But come on. Send your kid to school. Be an adult and don't let your child see you miserable and depressed and moping around when she should be in school with her peers. 

    My husband an I spoke with his attorney yesterday about what happened and the issue with the transfer. The solution to keeping K at the school and not having her transfer revoked is to get it in the CO that K must attend that specific school. Essentially the school district would have to take BM and my husband to Court to relieve itself of that obligation. That seems like the best route, but how on earth does he start that conversation with BM?! "Hey since you're frequently keeping K out of school she's going to lose her transfer, so sign this Stipulation"?

     

    Pretty much!! I'd maybe leave out the accusatory "since you're frequently keeping her out" part ONLY because it is a fact both you and your DH know, she knows it, and probably the kid knows it. Throwing it out there does nothing to advance the conversation only possibly get emotions thrown into the situation. I'd just say I'm afraid the school might back out of the transfer for various reasons and want to ensure daughter's educational stability so please help me with that by signing this stipulation. 
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  • bebe11bebe11 member

    Do they all live in a one bedroom apartment? 

    BM sounds like she is very codependent on SD.  So sad! 

     

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imagebebe11:

    Do they all live in a one bedroom apartment? 

    BM sounds like she is very codependent on SD.  So sad! 

    K and BM live with BM's mother, step-father, and 3 (sometimes 4) brothers.  Grandpa has his own room (super long story), the 15 year old and 20 year old brother share a room, leaving BM, Grandma, K and BM's 14 year old autistic brother sharing the last room.  It's a 3 bedroom house, but with all 7 children moving back home and moving out again it gets pretty chaotic and cramped.

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