Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
NJbaby2012
member
Re: Totally over-sensitive about Dr's comments...
Of course, I have military doctors, so don't always get to get the best of them. I've had one appointment so far, seeing as they called told me the wrong time for my second appointment, and as such showed up, no appointment and it was to late to get a sooner one. (That there was stupid, because of the staff)
My doctor, the only time i've seen here, checked my down stairs area, because as I guessed I had a yeast infection, just wanted some medicine. She sees that its red and irritated. I told her that me and my husband had sex a few hours ago and I had gotten dry, which caused it, but that was all. In front of my husband she says, "well, that looks like it could become a blister, its not one but it could be, I'm testing for herpes." Excuse me!!! Married, definitely not possible, luckily me and my husband trust each other. So she chose not to listen to me, did the most painful pap I've ever had and continued to do it, even though I begged her to stop, (husband furious) and when she got the results back they were negative. She put me through all that pain for nothing. It was obviously just irritation and she decided to be a dumbass and not listen. I can understand being careful, but admitting it doesn't look like herpies, in the same sentence you say you think it is, is retarded. Next appointment is tomorrow, and you can bet its a different doctor.
My doctor did the same thing with me. I gained 6 pounds in the first trimester. When I saw him last we talked about it and how I had gained 50 pounds with my DS. He told me that is not acceptable, and I am guaranteeing myself problems with L&D if I do it again. This after he told me about how great my numbers were for all of my blood tests, not anemic, and how great my blood pressure was. Even with the 50 I gained with DS I maintained low BP and had no complications. I also lost the majority of weight within 2 weeks of his birth and all of it within 2 months. DS weighed a healthy 8 pounds 14 ounces and was 22 inches long.
Saying all of that, I think your body gains as much weight as it needs in order to care for your baby. So long as you are making healthy decisions, don't worry about it.
I think every doctor will be concerned about a pregnant ladys weight gain at some point in the pregnancy, too much, too little, too fast, too slow. Give us a break!
Lurker In:
Your LO's middle name is fabulous...seriously.
Lurker Out.
This is exactly why DH and I chose to put me on Tricare Standard so that I can choose my own OB.
Make a pregnancy ticker
Your doctor isnt your best friend, theyre not required to say all the right things and tell you what you want to hear. Taking care of you and baby should be their first priority, not tip toeing around your sensitivities or weight issues. I can't believe you would waste another doctors appointment over that.
Yes, your overreacting, and yes my doctor does say stupid things he isn't perfect but hey he takes great care of me and my baby and thats all that matters to me.
My doctor never said a word to me about my weight (except at my first visit when I asked about a healthy amount to gain and she recommended 20 lbs) until my last visit at 23 weeks. I had gained 6 lbs in a month. She wasn't condescending at all, but simply mentioned my weight gain and told me I'd gained 11 and would ideally like to see my gain another 11. I think that was her nice way of saying "watch your weight gain". I know it's easy to get sensitive (especially over one freakin' pound), but it is there job to keep up with this stuff.
So, if I gain another 14-15 as opposed to 11, what will she do? Yell at me? Refuse to deliver my baby? For the most part, this is routine doctor stuff. Just take care of yourself and don't let it hurt you this much
You're doing great.
Everyone's weight flucuates everyday (whether pregnant or not) due to water weight, where you are in your cycle, and if you took a poop lol So esp. for pregnant women 1 pound isn't much b/c it can change the next day or a few hours later. That dr. wasn't being very nice and obviously doesn't know weight flucuates. If you were more then 3 pounds or so over then I would understand but 1 pound is nothing.