Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
JoySeattle
member
Re: Childbirth Education/Preparation
We read the typical books, which I guess covered childbirth (Your pregnancy week by week, the lesbian pregnancy books, etc.)
We took a 3 evening (generic) childbirth class through the hospital where we delivered. It wasn't LGBT specific, but there was another lesbian couple in the class expecting twin boys at the same time we were. At that point, we were pretty sure I was going to have a c-section since Baby A (Gray) was breech and the class was 90% about vaginal births (relaxation techniques, hospital protocols, etc.) I think the teacher did a good job of saying partners and while I am sure there were a few sideways glances at us, it was fine. I am sure we watched movies, but I have no idea what they were. Honestly, the only think I can remember from the class was testing out various massagers/massaging techniques. LOL. L was obsessed with finding the perfect massager and hard candy (neither of which were used. LOL.)
I don't think we would have done a lesbian childbirth class (unless it was done at the hospital where we were delivering) because I think it was more important for us to learn about the hospital's policies, be familiar with the space, etc than be with other lesbian families.
Good timing--we just got home from childbirth class.
We took a 6 hour "All In One" that was 3 hours of labor info (not relaxation techniques, just the process itself) and 3 hours of breastfeeding/bathing/newborn care. Tonight, we took an additional 2 hour class that was about breathing techniques and labor specifically. You can google Amma Parenting Center to learn more, if you like. They showed a video of labor that was EXTREMELY helpful...but it might have been their own product. I didn't realize how long early labor can be and that it can be done at home..I think I pictured woman on a bed in stirrups for the whole thing until I saw that movie.
We loved having someone just plain tell us what to do. The books are helpful, but I find all of the very overwhelming because there are a ton of different theories/opinions/perspectives and it's hard to know which is right for you at any given time.
Our classes were very LGBT friendly (we were called partners or support persons the whole time)...but I haven't read a ton of LGBT specific resources for childbirth, other than on this board. I did read "She Looks Just Like You" which was a great book.
Not sure what your curriculum is about/for, but one unique thing that isn't covered, of course, in these types of classes is how to protect the partner and baby if something goes array in childbirth. Even my lawyer hasn't answered that yet. A "legal section" would be something specific for LGbT couples.
Hope it goes well!
I agree with this.
We chose the hospital we did partly because (despite being Catholic) it is LGBT friendly and because they have the only birthing tub in the area. They also had the mostly highly recommended birth class. K and I choose to do the one day class (6 hrs?) instead of several shorter evening classes and honestly it didn't feel that long.
I really liked that the teacher emphasized having a birth plan but remaining flexible. It was clear that she felt epidurals are often asked for/given too early and really tried to explain the different stages of labor and how each stage could potentially be negatively effected by an epidural. But she also showed us epidural equipment and went over exactly how it would be done. It was a pretty fair balance.
During the class we spent time on the ball, mat, focused on breathing, and watching a few videos which was a good mix.
The teacher checked on me at the hospital and when we see her in public she always loves on JB and calls her "one of my babies."
We did Bradley classes which I loved and always highly recommend to anyone who will listen
As you know, Bradley is much longer than most other childbirth education programs, but it is so, so thorough. I loved the wealth of information about what happens in all stages of labor. And there is lots and lots of practice. Lots of practicing relaxation techniques, and one entire class that is a full mock-labor practice. C and I both got so much out of the class, and for baby #2, I'd love to do one of their shortened "refresher" classes.
We were the only gay couple, which wasn't a big deal. The instructor did her best to remember gender-neutral language.
We watched several natural birth videos, but I don't know their names. We did watch one birth from the super hippie-dippie Orgasmic Birth video (our instructor was not an "orgasmic birth" person, but the video had been recommended to her), which was verrrry hippie dippie, but good.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer