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She's sick and missing school. Again.

CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
in Blended Families

I've posted previously about BM frequently keeping K out of school and saying K is sick.  However, K never seems to have a fever when we get her that same day and usually says she spent the day running errands with Mommy or playing at the park with Grandma.  In the past BM would take K to the Dr for every tiny little sniffle, cough, or whatever ailment BM would find.  Very rarely was anything actually wrong.  Now that we've changed insurance companies, BM has only taken K to the Dr once, and K had an ear infection.

BM keeps her home from school at least once every 3 weeks, if not every 2 weeks.  There's now a CO that all absences must have proof of a Dr appointment.  The Judge was very clear about this and informed BM that failure to supply proof of a Dr appointment would lead to a change in custody.  I received a text this morning that K is missing school again.  I told her to let me know what time K's Dr appointment is so I can call in the co-pay for her.  BM informs me that she isn't taking K to the Dr.  I forwarded the texts to my husband and left it at that.  It's not my place to remind her of the CO.

K is at her current school on a transfer.  Can the District revoke her transfer due to her frequent absences?  I'm more worried about her having to change schools because of the absences, not so much about what my husband decides to do regarding BM not following the CO.   

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Re: She's sick and missing school. Again.

  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    What the school district does will be specific to that districts rules. I doubt they will do anything but I guess they could. Maybe not bc of absences exactly but if missing time is causing her to fall behind in her grades and they have minimums for that then maybe. I find it fascinating and ridiculous that every absence must have a doctors note. What if it's a low grade fever? A little bout of the runs? On one hand you are saying she takes her to the doctor for every little thing and then the other it is being encouraged bc of the CO. I know your BM has issues, I get that, but it seems like a childish game of setting up traps and waiting for her to fail. That is not in the best interest if your SD by any means.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    imagexmaryrickx:
    What the school district does will be specific to that districts rules. I doubt they will do anything but I guess they could. Maybe not bc of absences exactly but if missing time is causing her to fall behind in her grades and they have minimums for that then maybe. I find it fascinating and ridiculous that every absence must have a doctors note. What if it's a low grade fever? A little bout of the runs? On one hand you are saying she takes her to the doctor for every little thing and then the other it is being encouraged bc of the CO. I know your BM has issues, I get that, but it seems like a childish game of setting up traps and waiting for her to fail. That is not in the best interest if your SD by any means.

    The Judge unilaterally made the Order, it wasn't requested by my husband. 

    When BM decided to enroll K in this particular school, my husband was concerned how BM was going to get her to school.  It's twice the distance from her residence than the school K is supposed to attend, and BM didn't have a car and was relying on her mom, friends, BF, etc, to get K to school on her days.  My husband wanted K to go to the school between the 2 residences (which is actually closer than the school she's designated to go to based on BM's residence), so the Judge ordered it this way.  I agree that it's an annoying and frustrating Order.

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  • bebe11bebe11 member
    imagejobalchak:

    imagexmaryrickx:
    What the school district does will be specific to that districts rules. I doubt they will do anything but I guess they could. Maybe not bc of absences exactly but if missing time is causing her to fall behind in her grades and they have minimums for that then maybe. I find it fascinating and ridiculous that every absence must have a doctors note. What if it's a low grade fever? A little bout of the runs? On one hand you are saying she takes her to the doctor for every little thing and then the other it is being encouraged bc of the CO. I know your BM has issues, I get that, but it seems like a childish game of setting up traps and waiting for her to fail. That is not in the best interest if your SD by any means.

    The Judge unilaterally made the Order, it wasn't requested by my husband. 

    When BM decided to enroll K in this particular school, my husband was concerned how BM was going to get her to school.  It's twice the distance from her residence than the school K is supposed to attend, and BM didn't have a car and was relying on her mom, friends, BF, etc, to get K to school on her days.  My husband wanted K to go to the school between the 2 residences (which is actually closer than the school she's designated to go to based on BM's residence), so the Judge ordered it this way.  I agree that it's an annoying and frustrating Order.

    It must of been brought to the judge's attention that she was missing a lot of school, this doesn't seem like a typical order that a judge would throw out there. 

    Maybe just give the district office a call and ask?  I really doubt they would kick her out of the school, especially if it is a school that is in the same district.

     

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imagebebe11:
    imagejobalchak:

    imagexmaryrickx:
    What the school district does will be specific to that districts rules. I doubt they will do anything but I guess they could. Maybe not bc of absences exactly but if missing time is causing her to fall behind in her grades and they have minimums for that then maybe. I find it fascinating and ridiculous that every absence must have a doctors note. What if it's a low grade fever? A little bout of the runs? On one hand you are saying she takes her to the doctor for every little thing and then the other it is being encouraged bc of the CO. I know your BM has issues, I get that, but it seems like a childish game of setting up traps and waiting for her to fail. That is not in the best interest if your SD by any means.

    The Judge unilaterally made the Order, it wasn't requested by my husband. 

    When BM decided to enroll K in this particular school, my husband was concerned how BM was going to get her to school.  It's twice the distance from her residence than the school K is supposed to attend, and BM didn't have a car and was relying on her mom, friends, BF, etc, to get K to school on her days.  My husband wanted K to go to the school between the 2 residences (which is actually closer than the school she's designated to go to based on BM's residence), so the Judge ordered it this way.  I agree that it's an annoying and frustrating Order.

    It must of been brought to the judge's attention that she was missing a lot of school, this doesn't seem like a typical order that a judge would throw out there. 

    Maybe just give the district office a call and ask?  I really doubt they would kick her out of the school, especially if it is a school that is in the same district.

    When my husband was trying to have K enrolled in the school that closer to both residences, he brought in a copy of K's attendance record from preschool that reflected all the absences as well as emails and texts from BM wherein she told him K wasn't going to school because she didn't have a car to get her there.  So based on that, the Judge ruled the way he did.

    My husband is talking to the school district and his lawyer to see what needs to be done to keep her at the school.  We really don't want her transfer being revoked due to frequent absences.  Apparently this is one of those issues they hold at their discretion.  

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  • +j+k++j+k+

    I know this doesn't answer your real question, but I really hope your DH fights for custody. I think BM has some serious issues and only keeps SD home for reasons related to her psychosis. I seriously think she has issues because what mother in her right mind would purposely keep her child home from school as much as she does?

    I am totally speculating, but from what you have said here, I wonder if she has abandonment issues.  It would not surprise me if she was one of those women who got pregnant to keep a man or to fill a void and needs someone to love her that she knows will not abandon her so readily.  Not trying to diagnose her, I am not a professional, but but damn, some people are so easy that it doesn't take a professional to see what the issue is.

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