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December 2010 Moms
SmilingMrsF
member
Not feeling like a good mom today (vent)
SmilingMrsF
member
I finally had DS in for his 15 month appt today, at 15 1/2 months. When the doctor was checking him out he noticed he has a horrible ear infection. He said on a scale of 1-5 with 5 being the worst, DS's is at a 4. I feel horrible that I had no idea. The doctor said he should be in a lot of pain, although he isn't tugging at his ear and isn't crying or fussing anymore than he usually does.
Then, DS is being referred back to the CDSA for an evaluation because he's still behind in gross motor skills. He's not walking. He was evaluated at 6 months for gross motor issues and although it was determined he was slightly delayed in this area, he didn't qualify for any services. So, when I told my mom she said, "I don't think you practice walking with him very much. You just need to do more." Seriously! She watched as I held his hands to walk and he threw his body on the floor in a fit. My mom swears that while she was visiting the other weekend that DS stood up on his own for a full minute and then took 3 steps towards her. Sure, mom. He only stands for 10 seconds and doesn't take any steps with us, but I'll buy that the 5 minutes you were alone with him he did all of that.
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Re: Not feeling like a good mom today (vent)
omg, that sucks so much.
As for the ear infection, I suspect this kind of thing happens all of the time. DS was sick a lot this winter, being in daycare and all, and twice there were times he got sick, got better, and then got sicker and had a fever. One time we took him to the doctor and they said he just got a new bug in all likelihood. The second time we didn't take him because it was the weekend (and I didn't feel like it merited "urgent care"), and after the fact I thought he probably had an ear infection that was undetected, and that he eventually beat on his own. I think this because I was sick as well and could feel my snot draining into my ears, and DS looked less balanced during this time. And super uncomfortable because he was sick overall.
I'm also sorry about the walking thing. He must not be that into it. I know a lot of adults who were late walkers and don't appear to have any problems from that. In fact, the two that come to mind are both extremely talented dancers. Just try to think of the evaluation as a good thing -- you will be getting more info/advice on your child's development. Doesn't mean they will say there is some sort of problem.
As for your mom--UGH! He probably stood for 3 seconds and to her she thought it was a minute. And then she probably tempted him with something and he flopped at it, rather than taking multiple steps. Seriously, even if she didn't lie, who even says that to a mom? ("he walked for me, what's your problem?") If you haven't already, maybe you should confront her about what she said and she won't pull that crap again. Offering constructive advice is one thing (i.e. telling you to practice...not saying you don't do it enough but maybe giving a practice tip) but the rest of it is just unnecessarily mean.
I'm joining the 'don't' beat yourself up' chorus. B's had like 5-6 double ear infections and half the time I don't realize he has them - daycare will point something out or we'll be taking him in for something else. Some kids just don't seem to exhibit as many signs that we can notice.
I give your mom a big fat
. Getting the eval is good - even if he doesn't qualify for services again they should still give you some new tips and tricks to try.
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
Don't beat yourself up. Ear infections go unnoticed ALL THE TIME. Yes, sometimes LOs are fussy, pull on their ears, etc. and sometimes they have no symptoms.
I think it must be a grandparent thing to exaggerate the things LO does only in their presence. My ILs always tell me about LO doing stuff that I have never seen and is way above his age level. They tend to stretch the truth just a bit.
An eval will be a good way to figure out the best ways to give LO's motor skills a boost.
You are not a bad mom, and that is so uncool for your mom to make you feel like any of that was your fault.
::hugs:: Hope your day gets better from here on out!
I just wanted to say don't beat your self up! Your a great mom and sometimes you have no way of telling there is something wrong when there is no signs of it, it's not your fault.
Your mom sounds a lot like my mom! Just brush her off, sounds like you are doing everything right with your son. Sometimes I think moms just come around to judge us and point out what we should be doing different and of course to make things into a bigger issue then what the real issue is.
Oh yeah, didn't you know? Babies are always just doing things for grandparents they have never done before. My mom has sworn he's said about 10 words to her i have NEVER heard him say, and my dad told me last week the A walked 5 steps towards him. Ha!
That's a grandparent thing (still a little rude, but common). Don't worry about it at all! They were that concerned at your pedi's that he's not walking? They were not as concerned at mine (I talked about my appointment a few posts below this)
The pedi is not super concerned, but wants to be cautious since he's had delays in gross motor since he was really little. He asked me how I felt about the process of having him evaluated last summer. I told him it ended up being a really cool experience b/c they assess everything, not just the area with the possible delay. It was just really neat to see what his true strengths and weaknesses seem to be when professionals look at him. I think if I had told him I was freaked out and it really upset me, that he probably would have held off on the evaluations for a bit longer.