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Blended Families
TheBuddha
member
My birthson who came before I was ready. He doesn't call me mom but I love him just the same. ~7/10/99~
BM called the police - UPDATE!
TheBuddha
member
You guys are going to just love this.
SS went to visit his mother this weekend. She informed SS that every night that he does not call she is going to call the police and SS's dad (DH) is going to get into big trouble.
Really BM? You threaten to call the police if your son doesn't call you? THAT is how you are going to parent?
I am completely flabbergasted at the fact that she thinks it is ok to say that to her 8 year old son.
My birthson who came before I was ready. He doesn't call me mom but I love him just the same. ~7/10/99~This discussion has been closed.
Re: BM called the police - UPDATE!
It's posts like these that I want to forward to my XH every time I remind him he's lucky to have an XW like me, hehe.
What an asshat.
Yep. DH told him not to worry about it and that DH is not going to get in trouble. DH told me that SS believed him (his mother has a habit of lying to him anyway, so he has trouble trusting her) and is really mad at his mom for acting this way.
The kid wants to call her a couple times a week. I have a son, I can understand that she WANTS to talk everyday, but she grills him about stuff that he doesn't want to talk about...she is pushing him away by her ridiculous phone calls. IMO she is pushing him away even more by trying to get him to call by threatening him and his dad.
I did call the police department and spoke with the commanding officer. He was very nice and told me how to handle it if it happened again. We now have a copy of the CO by the front door.
The CO says that while the child is in the custody of the petitioner (DH) he can call the respondant (BM) for 10 minutes before his bedtime. It does not say "daily" or "nightly". So it is kind of open to interpretation, unfortunately.
If she is true to her threat and the police keep coming, we will have to spend the $$ to go back to court, SS will probably have to meet with the guardian ad litem (which is a nightmare because court is located in BM's town which is 2 hours away from us) and tell the GAL that he doesn't want to call every day. Then MAYBE we can get the whole paragraph removed from the CO.
The officer in charge did tell me that it is not the officer's job to enforce the CO and next time I can ask him to please not speak to my SS. I am guessing that if BM calls the police daily for a week, they are going to tell her to shove it.
I just want to cry at the thought of going BACK to court. We still owe thousands to our laywer and the GAL. I thought we were done. Why can't BM just back off if her son doesn't want to talk on the phone every Fing day.
Ugh!!! I agree with others that you just want to knock some sense into that BM. Not only is she alienating her son from her, it's just not stress he should have to go through!
I can totally relate to this feeling- sometimes I feel like it never ends. No advice, just sympathy, on that point. :-/
How is there not a law against this kind of thing?
And how long does she think it's going to take before the police tell her to go shove it?
You know, I might call the police department back and notify them of her threat. They might appreciate a heads up, and might be able to better deal with it.
Really sorry you have to deal with that.
I would think that after a certain point of her calling them every single day that they would charge her with filing a false report. After a while they will get sick of it.
If your DH has not addressed it with BM, he should directly and immediately and explain that putting their son in the middle is inappropriate and bad parenting.
If you're trying to get custody, this to me would look bad of her and good reason for the judge to rule in your favor to some degree.
I was actually going to talk to DH about this. It is a really good idea. And if we can contact them and tell them what the order says, when she calls they can tell her they can't help her. It will save us and the police a lot of stress and wasted time.
I completely agree! I told DH that even though he doesn't want to, he needs to call BM and tell her he knows what she said and it is AWFUL parenting. How dare she say something like that to this little boy? She will deny it (she lies about EVERYTHING) but at least she will know that DH knows.
We have custody. DH won temporary custody last January and it was made permanent in October. BM is furious that DH took SS away from her but that is what happens when you fail to enroll your child in school, you live at home with your parents and don't work (and you're 36 years old), and you share a room and a bed with your son. BM is convinced our lawyer and the GAL lied to the judge. She is a total nutcase.