My H wants to give up :(

katt3233 · March 2012

I hate that things are coming to this. He was scared to death when I had emergency surgery, and he's terrified that it'll happen again and he'll lose me. He said he's willing to do our FET, but *if* I didn't want to, he'd be happy walking away now.

It's so hard and it raises so many other questions. Since he is ready to give up, he's now worried that I won't be able to and he'll lose me because I'll want to keep trying.

I really feel like emotionally and financially I'm spent. And I do think that at one time I'll need to close this chapter and move on. I just don't know how I'll do that.

That was long and there's really no major point. I just hate this and all the major decisions that come along with it. I need a stiff drink!

Jenny829 · March 2012

Oh Katt, I'm so sorry you are struggling with all this. Like this stuff isn't hard enough to deal with as it is, but when you and your H aren't on the same page...I pray with all my heart that your FET is a success and you won't have to face such a situation. Regardless, I hope you two can come to a decision and choice that you are both comfortable with. ((BIG HUGE HUGS)) I am here for you!

HazelEyes730 · March 2012

I'm so sorry Katt. I just want to give you a big hug. So here's a virtual one (( HUG)). They removed the tube if I remember right? That should decrease your chances of having another tubal. Did you have problems with the other tube? I know any decision isn't an easy one. I hope the right decision will become clear for you both soon.

QCinOct · March 2012

{{hugs}} I'm sorry.

Stacy092306 · March 2012

(((hugs))) Hope you can come to some sort of resolution that makes both of you happy.

Your DH and mine have a similar mindset it seems. My DH is now opposed to ttc #2 again since our IVF last May when I had the abdominal hemorrhage following ER and ended up in the hospital. He thinks that trying for a baby = me possibly dying now. I can't seem to persuade him that there is little chance of that happening.

IF sucks. I hate that all of us have to deal with this.

shotzie · March 2012

((Hugs)) I'm sorry you guys are in this position. I hope you can come to a decision you both feel good about.

katt3233 · March 2012

Stacy092306:
He thinks that trying for a baby = me possibly dying now.

This is exactly how he feels. I guess I'm comforted knowing other men feel the same.

GnomeLuv · March 2012

Jenny829:
Oh Katt, I'm so sorry you are struggling with all this. Like this stuff isn't hard enough to deal with as it is, but when you and your H aren't on the same page...I pray with all my heart that your FET is a success and you won't have to face such a situation. Regardless, I hope you two can come to a decision and choice that you are both comfortable with. ((BIG HUGE HUGS)) I am here for you!

This exactly! (((hugs)))

LTF525 · March 2012

I'm so sorry. ((Big Hugs)) Do you think he's be willing to talk to a therapist with you? It might be helpful for someone to give a little outside perspective.

I hope y'all are able to get on the same page soon. ((more hugs))