Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
reillyroowho
member
Re: Feeling a little pressure from the nurses to EP
My advice (NICU RN here):
#1: Ask to go to adlib demand feeds and continue to exclusively breastfeed. Don't supplement after they nurse, with the understanding that they will probably end up eating more frequently. Some feeds they will likely take more than others. You will need a doctor's order for this, so don't be mad if the nurses say no...it's just not their choice. (This is what I would suggest).
#2: Continue with the current plan, knowing that it will likely take at least another week before they eat a large enough amount at each feed.
#3: Agree to bottle feed for several days so that your babies can go home sooner and then switch back to nursing once they are discharged.
Now, are they doing weighted feeds or using a breastfeeding scoring system? How do they know that your babies aren't getting enough when you nurse? I hope this helps.
What about a Supplemental Nursing System? I think you need to get the Lactation Consultant in asap. They should be working with you. The NICU told us that we could use the SNS if we wanted to BF.
That said, we went with bottles because it meant he'd be home faster. It was very difficult to decide.
I think it is pretty crappy the nurse is pushing you, though. The reason the decision to do bottle or breast was so hard is because they told us it was 100% our decision.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I'll say that, even if you go to bottles to get your LO home faster, you can still BF later. My 26 weeker came home on mostly bottles, and, with some work, I was able to EBF him for several weeks before I went back to work. Now, at nearly 14 months old, he still BFs morning / night. I was able to exclusively BF him until past his first birthday.
If I were in your shoes, I'd use bottles to get your LO discharged and then work on nursing when you get home. Nursing at home is SO much easier than nursing in the hospital. You can make it work.
You can also page urbanflowerpot. She was able to get her preemie to nurse exclusively, too. She may have a perspective.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
In my situtation, we gave DS bottles of breastmilk in the NICU. Now that we're home, we're working on breastfeeding. It's actually going pretty well. In a few days, I would imagine that I'll be BFing exclusively. We use nipple shields which seems to be helping the transition. Plus, for me, I felt that I could deal better with pumping than having my son away from me, so the decision was easy.
But, really do what's best for you & your family. You're doing a great job. Good luck!
Great advice! We went with option #1. I nursed exclsively ad lib when I was there with a shield. Sometimes he didn't take much, but then would do better the next feed. We didn't supplement so he could better self regulate. After 3 days of wt gain ad lib, we brought him home. If the ad lib plan doesn't work you can always continue to wait it out. GL! I love nursing my preemie; it's worth fighting for it if you can.
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
It's a hard decision. In the end, I wanted LO out of the NICU as fast as possible. We decided to focus on bottles. If I was there with him when he got an NG feed, I would try to nurse while he was being fed. In retrospect, it took DS three months before he was strong and coordinated enough to latch and get milk, so I am glad that I didn't push for breastfeeding in the NICU or he would have been there forever. We are still nursing 13 months later. Get him home, you can work on breastfeeding when you get home. Home is much more comfortable for breastfeeding anyway.
Such a tough decision . . .
Because of my LO's IUGR, I had to pump for bottles and NG tube for the first few weeks. They worked with me on BF'ing but he didn't have much stamina.
Personally, once he was doing well with the bottles I stuck with it and didn't look back. I was too nervous about measuring his intake, how much energy he would burn trying to nurse, etc.
The NICU is the best and worst place for them. On the one hand, we had phenomenal care. On the other hand, the risk of infection etc scared the beejeezus out of me. (We had a bad NEC scare).
So, when I was pumping around the clock, did I wish he was nursing - YES! But at the end of the day, I think it's best to get them home and then tackle those issues when they are "full term" infants.