Blended Families

what age is it ok for a kid to stay at home alone?

My SD is 9 and we share custody. So every Monday she switches houses. Last week was Spring break and she was with mom. Well our daycare for our kids was closed so we offered to watch DD since DH was off work with the kids anyway. SD came over Monday and Tuesday but then BM said she could take her to work with her the rest of the week. We found out this morning that she left her home alone 2 of those days. I'm sorry but 9 seems way too young. So now BM wants to let her do that this summer. DH and I are not ok with it. BM only wants to do it because of the $. She is broke and doesn't want to pay for her to go somewhere. This is a girl who can't make herself a sandwich. How is she going to be responsible enough to stay at home?? Am I overreacting on this? Is 9 an acceptable age to leave a kid home alone?
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Re: what age is it ok for a kid to stay at home alone?

  • WahooWahoo member

    DD is 9.  I might consider leaving her alone while I ran to the grocery store (I haven't, but I would not think of that as horrible), but I would not in 10 million years leave her alone all day.  In fact, DH went back to working in an office (not from our home) and I ended my carpool b/c I would not leave DD alone at the house for hte 15 minutes between dropoff of my son and the time she was picked up by the carpool, because I felt that if she was alone every day at the same time she could be the target of a predator (but even kids who are "bad news" would be a problem).  Plus, what is she going to do, sit and watch tv all day?  Never leave the house or open the door? 

    I would have a fit if I were your DH.  That would not fly and I would talk to your lawyer about that.

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  • She wants to leave her home alone all day while she goes to work over the summer?

    That is just too young to leave a kid home alone that long.  My SS will be 9 next month and we sometimes leave him home alone watching tv while we take a walk around the block.  We take the baby and he gets to watch his show without his little brother climbing all over him.

    I would NOT leave my 9 year old home all day while I went to work.  Not a chance.

    It depends on the kid, but I am thinking all day unsupervised...maybe 13?

    Besides, kids that hang out unsupervised for long periods of time tend to get in trouble.  Why risk it?

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  • I was babysitting when I was 10 but times are totally different now.  I would consider leaving a child alone for a few hours when they were an old 11 or young 12 if they had a decent maturity level for that age.

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  • My parents started leaving me home alone for short periods (10ish minutes) when I was 7. By the time I was 12, I was home unsupervised all day (for the summer) babysitting my younger sisters.

    Some states have laws that explicitly state the age at which a minor can be left home alone. And even then, it's a case-by-case thing dependent on the circumstances and the child. 

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  • Most counties/states have LAWS regarding the age children can be left alone. Some even drill down with a age and length of time. 

    Personally, I would catch her in the act and use it for full custody, becuase that is endangerment. 

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  • Pumpkin is 11 and very mature for her age, and I still wouldn't leave her home alone all day.
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  • It all really depends on the child.  I started babysitting my brother for an hour or two after school when I was nine... But that was only after demonstrating that I was more mature than some of the high school girls who had been babysitting us.  But being left alone all day is completely different.  That's too long to be left alone at nine years old IMO


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  • I think that I stayed home for alone when I was 9 or 10. I would watch my little brother. I 'm not planning on leaving DS home to watch DD when he is 9 tho, IMO and where we live that just isn't a good idea.
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  • Our kids were latch-key and got home once a week half an hour before I did at 8 and 9, and they got home together off of the same bus. I wasn't thrilled with it though, and it was never completely comfortable. I agree that it may not even be legal for her to be left for that long though.
  • Lurker here,  I used to work for CPS in the state of Georgia the age is 12.  I would call CPS and ask them.
  • Illinois is 14 for an extended period of time
  • Today in this day and age I don't think 9 is appropriate regardless of maturity. Especially to be home all day. My brother and I got off the bus and stayed by ourselves about an hour at that age. But I don't believe my mom would have let us in these times. The legal age in SC is 12.
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  • The first time she tries it, call the police to do a well child check.  Devil  And the second and the third.

    She'll get the idea that it's not okay.


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  • I will leave my 11 year old home alone to run to the grocery store or something like that, but there is no way he would stay home all day by himself. 

    I babysat every Saturday night for my cousin's kids when I was 12, but for some reason it just seems like another time.  Things are different now a days and there is no way my 11 year old will be home all day by himself.

  • My DD is 10 and I would never think to leave her home alone ALL DAY!  There is no way.

     

  • Thanks everyone for the great responses!  Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks that is NOT ok.  DH is going to have an oh-so-fun chat with BM!!  
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  • imageMrsBPO:

    The first time she tries it, call the police to do a well child check.  Devil  And the second and the third.

    She'll get the idea that it's not okay.

    OK can I ask - what is a well child check?? 

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  • I think times are changing and people are becoming more uncomfortable leaving younger kids home alone. I know some states have laws with restrictions on this, so that would be a good starting point for reference.

     

    I was 8 when my parents started letting me be home alone after school until they came home from work. It was usually no more than 2 hours and I was pretty responsible for being that young. Now, when my daughter hits 8 there is no way in hell I'd let her stay home alone for even 2 hours. I can understand maybe 10 or 15 minutes, but not hours on a regular basis. 

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  • We started at 12 for shorter time periods, but it does depend on maturity level also.

    And besides the legality factor, I just don't think it's fair to the 9 year old child to be alone all day everyday in the summer.

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