Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Cervical dilation
My midwife doesn't do internals (which is fine by me), and will let me go as long as me, baby, and placenta continue to be in good health. I find it a bit suspicious that your doctor requires some cervical dilation by 40 weeks--I've read repeatedly that second time moms may not have any dilation before going into labor. I guess if I were in your position I'd try to find some actual data/studies to show my doctor and push for 41+ weeks.
Same here. I never had my cervix checked for my VBAC and I never had a specific deadline. If I went to 42 weeks, the plan was to assess things from there.
It sounds like your doctor is setting you up for another c/s. There is no reason to deny you a VBAC for that reason.
Can you find out if 40 weeks is a hospital restriction or the Doctor's preference? If it's the later, I would start pushing for more time right now. See what he/she says.
My 41 week restriction is the hospital's, so unfortunately there's no one that I can convince.
I didn't have any cervical checks with my MW, and it was never a requirement or issue for me. I also didn't go into labor until at least 41 weeks (I wasn't certain of my due date).
38 weeks is sort of early to get really worried about it, and some women show *no* labor signs until they actually go into full-blown labor.
It's also totally reasonable on your part to refuse a RCS if you aren't showing "enough" dilation at 40 weeks - if you're healthy, and the baby is healthy, then there isn't more risk with waiting just because you're a VBAC. hth and good luck!!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
40 weeks is really early to require dilation, and dilation is a poor sign of what's going to happen.
My new OB/Gyn is fine with going to 42 weeks as long as I have NST and AFI to monitor the baby.
And at 42 weeks we'll asses and make a plan from there (foley induction or RCS depending on the specifics)
Dilation really doesn't tell you anything until you're actually in labor. You can be 2 cms for 2 weeks and go into labor and deliver in 6 hrs at 40.1 weeks or be 5 cm for 6 weeks and be 40.2 days and still not in labor like friends of mine.
Keegan Patrick - Bilateral Clubfeet found at Anatomy Scan.
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Keegan Patrick - Bilateral Clubfeet found at Anatomy Scan.
www.facebook.com/portraitave
One of the midwives at my practice told me that if I wasn't dilated or effaced by 41 weeks, then they will do a gentle induction.
If I were you, I would really try to get your doc to back off a bit regarding cervical checks/dilation requirements. See if your doc will consider giving you until 41 weeks. From your wording, your OB does not seem supportive of VBAC IMO. GL!
With DS, I was allowed to go to 42 weeks before a gentle induction would be scheduled. There was never any mention of cervical dilation requirements at my appointments with my hospital midwife group in CO. Labor started naturally the morning after my membrane sweep at 41w1d.
With this LO, I have also not been informed of cervical dilation requirements with my new OB group in TX (we moved last year). I was told that we would discuss gentle induction if nothing by 41w6d, but my OB also said she would be shocked if I didn't go into labor on my own before then this time as well. She said several times that she's very confident this VBAC will go as smoothly as my previous one.
~Sweet Girl *8/18/08* c-section ~ Sweet Boy *12/2/10* VBAC ~ Sweet Boy *8/14/12* VBAC~
VBAC Birth Story 2VBAC Birth Story