- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Natural Birth
Jessimurph
member
Need some positive reinforcement - vent
Jessimurph
member
I've had a few good days after passing my due date, but today was the absolute worst of worst days. I have been a hormonal nightmare, yelling at my husband for silly things then sobbing uncontrollably. I have truly never felt so achy and uncomfortable and a few weeks ago I thought I had hit the limit in that department. I read that the average length of first time moms is 41 weeks 1 day....even though I have a daughter she was a scheduled csection at 39 weeks so I think I still fall into the first time mom category when it comes to labor. I psyched myself up to be pregnant for the full 42 weeks, but I am starting to lose it. I am having a hard time taking care of myself and my three year old. I feel like this is never going to happen., he's not going to come out on his own.
My mom keeps saying there's something in me I need to let go of and that's why I'm not going into labor. My husband has declared we're no longer having the three kids we decided on because this pregnancy has been 'too hard on him.' My dad tells me to just walk more, I'm not walking enough. I get at least 20 texts a day from friends and family asking where he is. God forbid I walk out of this house because people point and stare and ask me how many babies are in there. One especially stupid person asked me if I 'had 8 in there' ...WTF, Sir?! There have been moments when I think about driving myself to the hospital to have them cut him out of me.
I feel like it's my fault that he's not coming out. I asked my husband if I could get a massage to relax and he was pissed that I wanted to spend more money when he can rub me. He mindlessley 'rubs' me while he's on the computer....hardly a massage. I have a zillion complaints and not many positive thoughts today. I think I want to hear that it's normal, other people have felt the same way and that he will come out and all will be ok. These last few weeks have felt like a lifetime.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need some positive reinforcement - vent
You can do it! I have no experience of this at all I'm afraid but I just want to reassure you because I've been reading all your posts and I have a ton of respect for you -- from reading your posts I am pretty sure you're doing everything you can to ensure the best birth for you and your baby. I'm sure it's totally normal to be a hormonal wreck from time to time!
I bet these last few days are feeling like a lifetime, as you say, but I am also sure that in a not-very-far-off moment you'll have your son in your arms and you'll have forgotten about all of these difficult times.
I'm cheering for you!
Poor thing. My heart goes out to you! Wish we lived closer, I would come pick you up this moment! My best advice is:
Leave DD with your hubby and walk right out that door and don't come home until after DD is asleep. Get a massage, get a mani/pedi, have dinner with a friend, or go see a movie (This is a good idea bc 1. you can turn off your cell and avoid calls, 2. it's dark so people won't stare/comment, and 3. probably it's the last one you'll see for a while!) Then come home and take a shower and crawl into bed and read a book- a NON PREGNANCY book! Go spend some money on yourself- you don't need to go crazy to feel pampered and rested.
This isn't forever. You baby will come and you will have an amazing birth experience that the rest of us will be jealous of
And to lighten the mood- here's a funny story. I delivered Ds on a Monday. The weekend before, I made Dh get mani/pedi's with me
I didn't want my gross feet in my OBs face while pushing! I made this whole big stink about it, bc obviously Dh didn't want to go. So Monday comes and I go into labor, but the delivery room was freezing, so I wore socks. After everything was over, only then did I notice I had a huge hole in the bottom of my sock! 
After my mini fit over getting a pedi for ridiculous reasons, I put a holey worn out sock in my OBs face instead.
Oh girl! Big hugs to you! It can certainly feel like a baby is going to be in there forever and you're never going to give birth!! This is not the case though and he will come soon!!
Don't let others tell you what you should/shouldn't do or blame you for not going into labor. It's absolutely OK to turn your phone off, or give it to your DH and refuse to answer calls. Just tell people you'll let them know when the time comes. It gets so annoying at the end to have friends and family calling and texting, even though they mean well.
Like PPs have suggested, do something special for yourself--a massage (yes!!), mani/pedi, walk around Barnes and Noble in peace and quiet if books are your thing.
He will come and you're doing a great job of being pregnant at the end! After he's here, these days will just become a cloudy memory you can laugh about.
do exactly what Laurelbee said!
and LOTS of labor/relaxing dust to you
Go get that massage, especially after your DH's nasty comment about a third baby. WTF? My DH gives massages like your DH and they are not enough. I think it will really help to get a professional to do it. Make a cup of tea, have a glass of wine, read a non baby related book in the tub, hide your phone (leave a snarky message first), take your LO out to lunch.
And it is very normal. Your baby will be here and you will forget all of this negative stuff before you know it. {hugs}
The massage therapist that works for me has done many "inducing massages" for overdue mamas that include relaxation and foot reflexology.
I went to 41 weeks 1 day with my first, and I was pressured into scheduling an induction date. The night before, I was resigned to never going into labor and being induced. And I went into labor on my own that night!
The baby is the one that starts labor. He/she begins to send hormone signals to your body to start contractions. If the baby is feeling your stress and the stress others are putting onto you, maybe that will be delayed.
I would set a goal to relax and destress. Let loved ones know you will contact them asap when it happens, to give you a break. Tell your husband his comments aren't helping matters - and if he feels it's been hard on him, what about you?
This too, shall pass. No one stays pregnant forever! Once you give up, that's when it will start!
I'm so sorry! I know the last days are SO hard, but I promise it's only days! You don't have to think in terms of weeks like we do most of the pregnancy.
I agree with everything LaurelBee said too! Try to take time for yourself. Take baths, get your massage, ask a few friends to go get pedicures with you,... Find fun or relaxing things to do to keep yourself busy. Or do something fun with your DD.
My hubby makes comments about our DS being our last too because this pregnancy was rough. (He's just 2.5 weeks old.) But honestly, given time I'm certain they will change their minds. Even though they shouldn't say things like that, particularly right now while we are extra hormonal, I'm sure they are just concerned about us.
I really appreciate everyone on this board. Thank you for being so wonderful and supportive. I have an appointment with my midwife today and I will tell my husband I'm getting a $20 chair massage at whole foods.
Having a homebirth has cost us three or four times what a repeat csection would have (I know...how effed up is that!) so I do want to be respectful of money going out. At the same time he's never been pregnant and doesn't like massages from people he doesn't know so he just doesn't get the importance at this point. I got a pedicure Thursday, but if I'm still pregnant this Thursday I'll get another one and have them do an extra massage...that sounds heavenly right now.
I'm happy to have this board. I have to be way too careful about posts I open on third tri and my birth month.board these days. Thank goodness for you guys.
Keegan Patrick - Bilateral Clubfeet found at Anatomy Scan.
www.facebook.com/portraitave
all of this!!!