Asking for shower gifts if I'm flying home?

zitajayne · March 2012

So I'm living far far from family currently (9 hour flight) . Around 28 weeks I'll be flying "back home" for a family wedding, and my mother in law wants to hold me a baby shower. There is just one problem ... Gifts ??

I'm happy to get them, don't "expect" them, etc... But I'm worried that If I'm not "specific" (which I think could come off as rude) it's going to be really difficult for people.

My intercontinental flight only allows 1 bag, and I can buy an extra one if there is a lot of big / heavy items, Shipping is out of the question it's so pricey! What can I ask for that isn't :

A) incredubly bulky

Gender specific (We're choosing not to know the sex)

and C) electronic ?

I'm really interested in cloth diapering. and my only idea so far is to ask everyone for cloth diapers / diaper supplies. ... as the apx $500 investment will likely be our biggest expense.

RoxyLynn · March 2012

What you ask for and what you get might be completely different. A lot of people never use registries and choose to select a gift.

If the cost of shipping is prohibitive, I'd ask your MIL to just host a no-gifts get-together. That's a LONG weekend with a family wedding and a baby shower, and it might be nice to just have a low-key gathering in honor of your first baby.

ccam · March 2012

I don't think there is any nice way to say this. I would register for small things, if you are doing one, and pray that lots of people bring gift certificates. Hopefully when the guests RSVP to your MIL, they ask her for gift ideas and she can say, "well, since she can't take too much on the plane home, a gift card would be nice". Or return the really large gifts before flying home and repurchase them when you get back.

EastCoastBride · March 2012

You're having a shower - you're going to get gifts. That's the whole point. .

Past that, a few thoughts:

1- your friends and family know you have to fly. Give them a little credit that many of them will probably take this into account when buying a gift.

2- register and keep the registry to smaller stuff. That's a guide, at least.

3- if you do get anything large that you can't really take w/ you, either

a) pay to have it shipped home

b) return it then rebuy it when you get home.

IN the end, you can't dictate "only get me these kinds of gifts", and I find it rude to tell people "Oh, if you buy something big, ship it home for me!". It's on YOU to get the gifts home.

But again, they know you have to fly - hopefully they'll think of that and either get you something small OR they'll ship it of their own free choice.

Liz4444 · March 2012

As usual, what ecb said.

Saltina11 · March 2012

cwm11985 · March 2012

I wouldn't ask for anything "specific" like cloth diapers...that usually tends to come across as gift grabby. Maybe make a registry specifically for this shower and include only small items such as pacifers, burp cloths, very small toys, etc. Before you leave, take everything out of the packaging (unless you know you'll be returning it) and then put it into the extra bag that you can pay for.

jeffsjayme · March 2012

9 hour flight? Good night! I guess I'd rely on your family to know that you'll have to transport the gifts back, so that they know to get you easily portable stuff. Diapers sounds great. Maybe talk to your MIL to treat this as a way to celebrate the baby and not concentrate on the gifts as much.

Maybe they can do a group gift kind of thing that can be purchased where you live or delivered there.

theboki · March 2012

We had a similar situation with our wedding. Most people bought us gifts off our registry and had them shipped directly to our home in Los Angeles (we got married in NY). Others gave us cash/gift cards at the wedding (easy to take home). And any actual gifts we got at the wedding were brought home by my MIL and shipped to us by her. I'll bet your family can do this for you as well.

chloebeth930 · March 2012

No matter what it is tacky to ask for or give any type of directions for gift buying. I also have to travel for my baby shower. If someone buys me too bulky of a gift I'm just going to return it for a gift card and then repurchase it when I get home. Have your host spread word of mouth that gift cards or smaller gifts would be appreciated since you will be traveling by plane.

CraftyKayla · March 2012

I would have your MIL pass along the word that they could order gifts online and ship them to your home..

BallSox · March 2012

I'm guessing your friends and family isn't made up of idiots. Register as you normally would and either let them 1) order it and have it shipped to you, 2) get you GC with a note saying "This is for you to buy your crib with when you get home" etc, or 3)Give you GC/Cash.

If you have someone that is, in actuality, an idiot, return the items and get the credit for it and buy it again when you get home.

You're not the first or last person to have a shower like this.

rhubarb123 · March 2012

Liz4444:
As usual, what ecb said.

Yep...I agree as well. If they call your mom and ask for specific ideas then she can tell them cloth diapers (including the kind you like). Beyond that there is nothing you can do about people purchasing gifts. The only other option is to not call it a shower so most people don't give you gifts (but they probably will anyway).

WiFeY 4 LiFeY · March 2012

I had DS1, and will have #2 out of state as well. I packed a smaller suitcase inside a large one, so I had an extra one to put gifts in.. I also had a list of gifts, and I returned as many as I could and just rebought them once I got home

zitajayne · March 2012

Thanks for everyones input. I'll let my mom know to mention small items. OF COURSE everyone invited knows I live overseas. ...

I worry it's just not something people think about very carefully at times. For instance, everyone suggesting I ask for gift cards clearly have no idea that gift cards are not valid internationally. So how can I expect my invites to know?

Thanks again for all the tips. I'll work it into a small things registry and get my mom to suggest small / non electronic / diaper like things.

Want a personalized experience?

Asking for shower gifts if I'm flying home?

Re: Asking for shower gifts if I'm flying home?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards