Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

Questions re adding another child to the family

CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
in Blended Families

Back in December I had an ectopic pregnancy that was completely unplanned.  In fact, we were actively trying to not get pregnant.  It was a completely overwhelming and devastating loss for my husband and me.  Lately we've been discussing having a baby and are going to start trying.  Our 3 kids have transitioned seamlessly into being siblings, and in the last 2 years we haven't had any issues with the kids resenting each other or us.  We're pretty frigging lucky, I'm completely aware!

How have you and your families handled adding another child to the mix?  Were there any huge blowups or upset feelings when you told the bio-kids and SKs about being pregnant?  How bad did things get with BM if she was already extremely disgruntled?  Did any of the kids seem resentful or angry about the new baby?  With the SK's, did it the pregnancy cause any jealousy or questions as to why the baby lives with you and they don't? With the bio-kids did they feel like they were being replaced at all?  I'd really like some insight whether it be good, bad or ugly....

image

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools



Report Reply to Post

Re: Questions re adding another child to the family

  • cole2144cole2144 member

    My SD turned 3 less than a month after LO was born. She was super excited about the baby but she also was very clinging after he was born. She had a lot of transition that year, moving in with BM`s bf, changing schools, being 40 min away from DH and the new baby so not sure if her reaction was due to the baby or all the other changes. The transition was smooth other than that as far as SD. I don`t think BM was too thrilled about us having a baby because she would start arguments with DH saying "You are having another baby so what are you worried about SD for?" Like he should just forget the child he already has! His relationship with BM was never good to begin with though.

    I think the key is to make the kids feel involved, ask their opinions on room decor, names, or whatever. They just need to know their feelings and opinions count and that you still love them just as much. 

    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
    image






    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • kali55kali55 member
    My SDs LOVE their little brother.  We were fully prepared for some problems as they would be getting a lot less attention with a newborn on the scene but they have been brilliant! (thus far ;-) )


    BabyFruit Ticker
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • riabironriabiron member
    sd had been begging for a sibling so she was very excited when we had dd1. she was also excited by dd2 and was over the moon with this pregnancy. she is currently campaigning for a brother.
    Report Reply
  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Thanks for all the positive input!!  The youngest has actually been asking since before we got married when we were going to have a baby.  She was 4 (almost 5) at the time and now she's 6 and hasn't let up on that request at all!!  I'm hoping that all the kiddos will look at this as a happy journey we can all take together  Big Smile
    image

    Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools



    Report Reply
  • bebe11bebe11 member
    My DD (she is 10) has begged us to have a baby, so I am sure she would be beyond thrilled.  My SD would more than likely be fine with it, (she is turning 6 next week), however, my SS (14) would probably be less than thrilled.  Either way, we are both 40 and not planning to have any more kids, so we got a puppy instead :)

     

    Report Reply
  • Melzig76Melzig76 member
    Ds took it well, granted he just turned four last week, but he simply adores his sister. I am worried though that as he gets bigger he will want to know why she gets to stay at this house while he goes to EXH house for the weekends.  I think that it is all how you approach it. Let them feel involved. We took DS to the ultrasounds with us, we got him a special blanket for when he holds her.  He got a big bro shirt that I made him, that his sissy has a matching lil sis onsie.  I don't think that it is a bad idea, as long as you are ready to address all the issues that you have mentioned as they come up.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"