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bebe11
member
Issues with my DS
bebe11
member
I haven't started my own post in a while, but thought that I would see what you guys think about this. My DS is 20 years old (will be 21 in October), and the back story is that after he turned 18 and finished high school he didn't want to get a job or go to college. He finally ended up going to our local community college, took 2 classes and barely passed and still no job. I had to give him an altimatum of get a job and go to school or your out of our house. He did neither so I forced him to go move in with his bio father. He hated it, after 6 months and begged me to move back. He said he would get a job and get all A's in school (he is VERY book smart and easily could of done this). I said ok, long story short, still no job and dropped out of school. So He has been out of the house for almost a year now.
In the last year, he has come to visit when it would benefit him in some way. He came for his birthday and the holidays (he knew he would get gifts). Around Christmas he asked me again if he could move home. I wanted to just say no, but I wrote out a list of 10 things that needed to happen, and the first one was that he would need a job FIRST. He was here for a week, to go job hunting. The week he was here, he went ONE day to look for a job. I even offered to give him a ride to pick up applications, and he said no thanks. He did several other things that made me believe that again, he would just fall right back into his old ways, so I told him that it just wasn't going to work out and he couldn't move back. That was in January, and he won't return my calls or text messages.
So my stitch is this. I pay for his cell phone, so I am considering canceling the line, I think with AT&T you can just put it on hold for however long you want. I check the useage and he rarely uses it, and the phone numbers that are either dialed or incoming I know that the calls are FOR his Dad. His Dad doesn't work and doesn't have a phone, which is why I believe they are his calls anyway. What do you think, is that too mean, and would just push him further away, or do it anyway. The money for the phone is a non issue, it is just a matter of principal.
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Re: Issues with my DS
I agree.. The hardest part is wating for your kid to figure things out, and then be blammed for how they are living their life. I must of missed this chapter in my parenting books.
Ok, well the phone is canceled, so let's see how long it takes for him to ask about it.
I think I would either give him a heads up or give him 30 days to come up with half the payment or something.
cancelling it behind his back without his knowledge or giving him the opportunity to do something about it is kind of sneaky imho....
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this! But you are doing the right thing by forcing to live with his choices. He is old enough to pay for his own phone. Heck, there are teenagers who pay for their own cell!
I vote cancel the phone. The only thing I would add is that he asks to have the old # for any new plan he gets, to allow him to have that (if your permission is required).