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Rough Day

behapy2daybehapy2day
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I consider myself to be a fairly strong person, and I have been really proud of myself for coping/dealing with everything as well as I think I have... but today just totally sucked. I would have been 13 weeks today and entering the 2nd tri... I would have announced on facebook today too... and what sucks is hearing from friends that they are also pregnant and now announcing as well.

I had a friend sign on to gchat today to tell me she was 9 weeks. I really wish I was happy for her, but all I could think about were things like, "why are you telling me at 9 weeks? You should keep quiet bc I didnt miscarry til 10 1/2 weeks... dont start telling everyone too soon." I feel terrible that I am not excited for her, but it just totally threw me through a loop and I had to try and gather myself at my desk to keep from turning on the ugly cry.

THEN, I get home and www.gilt.com sent me a gilt baby onesie in the mail as a thank you for ordering bella bands. I had ordered two when I first found out. I get that its probably a great marketing tool for them to send to pregnant women, but it totally stung and made me cry.

I just seriously dont want to think about this. I cope by putting things in a box and pretending it doesnt exist... and having to be reminded that I miscarried and that my baby is gone while other people are experiencing healthy pregnancies totally sucks.

And the cherry on top is that DH is gone for the weekend and I am home to wallow alone. Being alone makes it 100x worse. I think I may just totally eat ice cream and pick up some mcdonalds french fries for dinner so I can console myself with junk food, lol.

vent over.

He's my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping.

<a href="http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk121/behapybride/?action=view
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Re: Rough Day

  • kpowers982kpowers982 member
    I'm so sorry you're having a tough time today, I am as well. I'm 3 weeks out (3 since I learned of the M/C, 2 since the D&C) and I still have a hard time, and I'm getting really frustrated that I'm not all better. I was having an okay day and the sadness and grief just settled right in. It will pass, for both of us. It has to.
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • yecal262yecal262 member
    I'm so sorry for you. THIS SUCKS!!! That's all I want to scream for the last week at the top of my lungs. I totally would for ice cream and French fries for dinner... I think it's a good idea. I bought two new pair of shoes... Retail therapy. 
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • MrsLeleMrsLele member

    It sucks SO much.  I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.  Just have confidence that those rough days will get fewer and farther between.  I also have a close friend who is pregnant and a couple weeks behind me, and it's just salt in the wound. I don't have it in me to be happy for her, not yet. I know I'll get there, just not sure when.

    I haven't cried in exactly a week and that alone is a small miracle.  BUT. Today I am sad, bc I would have been 12 weeks.  St. Patrick's day was the day we picked to tell the world we were expecting. Haven't cried today bc we are TTC again and I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating Smile so I'm looking at that as my silver lining!  I hope you find your's soon.  (((hugs)))


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  • heather4hawksheather4hawks member
    So sorry! I understand how it is so much worse to be alone. DH had a work commitment last night and I was alone just browsing through fb. Saw someone's u/s pic who was due around the same time as me, who also announce right after her bfp. Burst into tears, as I hid her fb status updates, grabbed a bag of chips and a glass of wine to try to console myself. Hang in there. This has to get better for all of us in time.
    BFP #1 2/20/12 - ectopic methotrexate @6w2d on 3/6/12 BFP#2 7/27/12 EDD 4/10/13- It's a boy! imageimagePhotobucketBabyName Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
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  • dtowngirldtowngirl

    I'm sorry you're having a rough day. I consider myself very strong emotionally but nothing can prepare you for a loss. Just when you think things are looking up, you remember a milestone that could have been and break down. 

    I also have a friend that told me about her progress at 8 weeks ... I was a week behind her at the time and didn't say anything... And a cousin that told everyone the moment she missed her period. I do feel happy for them but I can't understand how oblivious they are to the things that could happen and the things that others are going through.

    I hope your days get better. The McDonald's will help at least a little :). 

    BabyFruit Ticker BFP #1 - 1-25-2012. Missed M/C discovered at 9 weeks 3 days. D&C 3-9-2012

    BFP #2 - 10-11-2012 Beta 38, 10-15-2012 Beta 518!.
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