Nannies/babysitters and FB

Minipenguin · March 2012

If you have a nanny or regular (unrelated) babysitter, did you friend them on facebook? Are they live-in or live-out? Do you think of friending them as too much of a violation of your personal space or did it make you feel better to get to know them in a different light?

Just curious about the types of relationships people have with their nannies/babysitters/au pairs.

megann831 · March 2012

DD goes to a SAHM, I've seen her facebook page, although it doesn't look like she makes much use of it, but I have not requested her. I don't see it as a violation of my space, since it would be my choice to request her, but I think it puts her in an awkward position. She deserves her space and privacy. I would feel very uncomfortable if one of my student's parents requested me

EastCoastBride · March 2012

Previously, no. But the people we used in the past were a lot younger than I, and really pretty much "just" our nanny.

Presently, my DCP is also a neighbor, AND she helps her DH run the neighborhood association. so we're FB friends too. If it weren't for that connection, I don't know that I'd be friends w/ her on FB. For me, there is a line that I like to keep.

Regular sitters - no, I haven't and probably won't. The one sitter in particular - I really like a lot, but she's our 'employee'. Not our friend. I jsut feel that's a line I dont' want to cross.

Strunella · March 2012

I have never looked up either my current or previous nanny on FB. But to answer your questions, no, I would not want to be FB friends with them. Kind of a strange story though---my previous nanny (whom we loved) had to leave after one month due to health issues. Months later, she came up as "people you may know" on FB and I decided to look at her profile. Her pictures were available to anyone. I was surprised to see her with lots of tatoos and piercings, looking like a rocker chick, next to her fiancee (who was a woman).

It was definitely a little shocking because I didn't know that side of her, but it was also a reminder not to judge a book by its cover. If she had come to my house for her interview with tatoos and piercings, I doubt I would have felt comfortable having her care for my baby. I would have allowed a stereotype affect my decision. And we would have missed out on a great nanny.

Minipenguin · March 2012

Hmm, interesting. I know a lot of people friend their bosses (or vice versa), so I was expecting more people to have friended their nannies.

naflmj · March 2012

DS's old daycare provider friended me and the things she posted (while caring for children) made me switch providers. In the long run, I am happy I was friends with her but it drove me nuts while I was trying to rearrange care for my son.

MammaBear81 · March 2012

We friend our au pairs. It's easy to keep in touch with them after they go home. It's nice to "get to know them" better through facebook as well (e.g.- I was happy when our current au pair started making friends with others in our area). They also post pics of my kids some times (I don't have a problem with it, and I'm glad they want to show their friends and family) and tag me so I can see/save it.

Minipenguin · March 2012

naflmj:
DS's old daycare provider friended me and the things she posted (while caring for children) made me switch providers. In the long run, I am happy I was friends with her but it drove me nuts while I was trying to rearrange care for my son.

I guess this is why I thought more people would want to friend them. I know a few nannies and one, in particular, is so insane about the things she posts that I feel bad for the parents not knowing about it. (i.e., she'll post about one of the kids running out of toilet paper so she finished making lunch while he waited for her to get some so she could enjoy the quiet time.) But then, I guess that's just a little too much like spying? But with nanny cams and things, I wouldn't think it would be much different.

Anyway, like I said, just wondering. Thanks for the replies!

jhansen3 · March 2012

I have friended both of my Nannies on FB. I don't feel it is a violation of my personal space and I like to see what they post and who they are friends with (just being honest here as an employer).

FortMyersBride · March 2012

I friended our old nanny when we moved so we could stay in touch. She doesn't post much, and certainly what she does post doesn't make me worry at all in retrospect about the care DS received.

The DCP we used until DS was almost a year friended me after we took DS out. Occasional she posts things that make me happy we took DS out. So I suppose it goes both ways.

Jillwithani · March 2012

I've nannied in the past was friends with both parents on FB. I have nothing to hide and I enjoy seeing pictures of "my" Allie now that she's growing up.

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