- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Baby Showers
LadyXaverian
member
Would you boycott? (clicky)
LadyXaverian
member
in Baby Showers
Today after school, we are throwing a "sprinkle" for one of our teachers and his wife. It is their 2nd child, but he did not teach at our school when #1 was born. It's simply cake, drinks, nuts, mints, potato chips. They were not registered anywhere, so we just asked people to contribute what they felt comfortable for a gift card.
About half of the school expressed their discontent to those of us who planned it, and they have refused to contribute or attend.
I was a little surprised. I get that some people feel strongly about "no shower for #2", but I think this is small, tasteful, and appropriate.
WWYD?
[Poll]Our sweet girl is 3!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you boycott? (clicky)
The response we're getting is, "It's their 2nd."
While I don't like full blown showers for 2nd/3rd kids, etc, I DO "celebrate" every baby born. I always give a little gift to people I care about for their additional kids.
This is why a truly SMALL sprinkle doesn't bother me - if I'd do something anyhow for the person, I don't mind going to a sprinkle.
In the workplace - I think it's nice to acknowledge your new coworker is about to have a baby and do something small for them.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I feel bad about it because his wife is coming from across town (she's a teacher, too) for it. I've seen them be extremely generous (including at my shower this time last year- granted, it was my first.) I am honestly surprised by their strong reaction.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm kind of a stickler for etiquette when it comes to baby showers.
However, I think it is ridiculous you're getting this sort of reaction. Our office collects money/has cake for far dumber reasons. Any excuse to have a 3pm sugar rush I guess. Sounds like they all collectively decided to become douchecanoes simultaneously.
I'm a "Shower for the 1st only" with a few exceptions (opposite sex twins, large gap between children, etc.) but I am OK with the 'every child is welcomed & celebrated'. My MOMS Club does a shower for every pregnancy unless the mother objects and I think work falls into that category.
I would not have approached people calling it a shower but a celebration for a new baby/life. Different wording can get different reactions from people. But if it was a co-worker I would attend and contribute what I could as I have done in similar situations.
Have the party regardless and do not chastise or bring up those who objected to attend due to moral reasons or what not. Trust me, the co-worker will notice and keep it in mind if a special occasion celebration arises for them.
Question:
Is this something that is done for everyone's second, third, fourth, etc. children? Or is it normally only done for first timers?
If it is normally only done for first timers, I could see why some would not be happy about it. If it is normally done for all children, then I don't see what their problem is.
It sounds like your cranky co-workers need more things to get angry and indignant about.
It's a sprinkle, the MTB wasn't working where you work when she had her first, there's no registry and you're asking for donations of whatever they want to give.
For all of those reasons, I don't see anything wrong with having a nice afternoon celebration. Even if they choose not to participate, I don't see any reason for them to get upset about it.
The manager of my department takes us all out for lunch around Christmastime and generally, we present him with a gift card to a restaurant or some other gift from all of us. One member of our department refuses to donate (we typically throw in $10 each) but he greedily orders the most expensive thing on the menu, an appetizer all for himself and dessert when we go out to lunch. People can suck sometimes.
Ss - if I like the person and wanted to celebrate, I would. If I didn't like them I wouldnt join in, but I wouldn't make a stink either, just silently judge. I would never join in without contributing, regardless of the situation.
I would absolutely go and participate. It's a sweet thing that y'all are doing for the MTB. There is no registry, she isn't asking for gifts, it's a celebration and a generous gesture.
But I'm not a one and done shower purist, either. I don't bent out of shape at second baby showers, or look down on the MTB as greedy, because she isn't the one throwing the party. I think that declining an offer for a friend to throw you a party is pretty ungracious.
What crotchety people! It is a baby. There is no reason not to have a little celebration.
Those people need to be slapped. You're not planning a 3 hour long shower with a meal, games, and a registry. It's a small celebration for a new child. Several years ago when I had a job (ha) it was a smallish office and a lady was on number 4 or 5 and we had something like this. Cake at lunch and a "donate what you'd like" gift card fund.
Baby "sprinkles" exist for a reason--to celebrate the fact that all children are special. I think some people get TOO caught up in tradition.
blog! thescenery.net
You're right lol.
It ended up being much ado about nothing. Enough people were there that it wasn't terribly apparent that some people were irked by it. They got a few gift cards and a few people who didn't chip in on GCs got small gifts, like onesies, bibs, diapers, wipes etc. We were in and out in about 30-45 mins.
Another poster asked if it's common practice to have some kind of celebration for a 2nd baby at my school, and I had to think about it. The answer is yes, we've always done *something*, although it's up to each department or grade level to organize as they see fit for their team mate. A 2nd has never received an all-out shower, but received something in recognition/celebration of their baby.
Thanks again for your input.
unfortunately, you have some selfish people working with you. it's sad that they had to express such discontent when it comes to a little celebration of a new baby. if they didn't want to contribute to a gc, then don't do it. next time one of them has a birthdday, ignore it...and tell them "you celebrated it already last year"...ridiculous how people can be...goes to tell you their true side comes out in situations like this...just a little quirk to ready something like this...a new baby is coming...and the teacher is new to the school...make him feel like he's part of the group and that people cares of what happens in his life....geez a luis!
I would probably contribute, but attendance may be how well I know the person. We have things at work all the time but I dont know everyone THAT well its a huge office.
However, I get the controversy on these, but I feel its a shame to penalize the guests of honor because others decided to throw them something. Especially if the contribution is up to you to decide. if you dont have it then thats a valid reason, but no because "its their 2nd". Work places have celebrations like these happen all the time, and its a nice break to celebrate people and the things happening in their life.
I also dislike when people say its a AW event because "sorry you dont feel the need to celebrate the good things in life" but whats wrong with celebrating ALL of the good and stop being so negative and selfish yourself.
DD - Lucia Alessandra 6/18/12 ~~~ Welcoming Baby Boy!! - 3/26/14