Deployed on Due Date — The Bump
Military Families

Deployed on Due Date

My fiance is scheduled to leave for a 13-14 month deployment 2-3 months before my due date. This is our first child, and the pregnancy wasn't planned, hence the terrible timing. We are both excited but I feel bad that he won't be able to be there for the first year of the baby's life, and I know he is down about it too. Has anyone else gone through this or is going through it now? Does anyone have any advice for getting through it?
BFP #1 2/25/12, EDD 10/30/12, missed m/c at 8 weeks, natural m/c on 4/16/12 at 11 weeks.
BFP #2 7/8/11, EDD 03/18/13.

BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Deployed on Due Date

  • Although my situation isn't half as bad, my husband is going to be leaving for Okinawa about 2 weeks after LO is born (I have an induction date scheduled because I'm 40 weeks, 1 day now.)  The best advice I can give you is to keep yourself busy!!! 

    Make a list of things you'd like to do, see, accomplish, etc.  Being idle would only make me depressed so I made a giant list of things and it felt good to cross them off as I did them.  ALso, don't be afraid to ask for help from friends or family.

    You'll both make it through this, and develop an even stronger bond and relationship.  Best of luck!  

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    My H was deployed when our second was born and missed the first 6 months.  It was hard, and would have been harder if I hadn't had an amazing support system around me.  Make sure you have friends and family (if possible) around who know your situation and who you can count on for help as needed.  Beyond that, you just get used to things and do the best you can to continue living and enjoying your life without him there.  

    Good luck! 

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  • I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. It happens often, but it still is difficult on the individuals.

    My DH missed half of my pregnancy and LO's first nine months. (He was home for R&R when LO was two months old.). One thing I kept in mind was that while it was difficult on DH and me, as long as LO was properly cared for, he was too little to know that his daddy was away.

    Be certain that your FI gets the proper powers of attorney (POA) that you will need once your baby has been born. I remember that I needed a special POA to enroll LO into DEERS. We got an additional POA that directed who had guardianship of LO until DH returned home, should anything happen to me. It's an unlikely situation, but I know that DH and I felt better knowing our bases were covered.

    As PP mentioned, be sure to develop a good support network. It will help when you feel lonely with your FI away, and when the baby is here and you need help.

    My DH is preparing to deploy again, and our LO is now 2.5 years old. Deployments are difficult, regardless of our LO's age. Best of luck!!!
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  • I am going through this currently I am almost 15 weeks pregnant my husband deployed to afghanistan when I was around 7 weeks pregnant, he will still be gone for another 3-4 months after I have the baby in september :-(. It's not easy but just enjoy the bonding time you all have right now let him get as close as possible with this pregnancy before he leaves and stay on skype!!!!
  • Sorry to hear about this, it does happen a lot but that does not make it any easier on you! My husband is going away one week after the due date. My OB said that he will induce me any time after 38 weeks so that my husband has time to spend with us. But what I keep telling myself is that the baby will not remember him being gone. I know that does not make it any easier on me, but it sure makes it easier on our little one! It's the deployment when she is 5 -15 i am worried about!


    Wish you the best!  

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  • I am preggo with my third. Hubby was deployed when I was 5 months preggo with #2 and will deploy again in less than 2 weeks (I will be 10 weeks with this one). I would prefer my hubby home for delivery/babies first few months, especially since we are stationed in Germany, far from family. But I do think there are some positives!!

    -It makes deployment go faster! I am so busy concentrating on appointments etc that I am not counting down til RnR etc.

    - With #2- he missed the first 6 months of the babies life and with #3 he will miss the first 3-4 months.  Honestly- that is the best time to miss. There are a lot of sleepless nights- poopy diapers and not a TON of milestones missed.


    I am by no means saying it is ideal! But it could be worse! Good luck and yay for babies!

    It was all worth it! BabyFruit Ticker
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