Mat leave and a toddler

skyejo · March 2012

I'm pregnant with #2 and he/she will arrive when DD is about 2 years. I'm struggling with what to do with DD and daycare.

Pulling her from daycare isn't in my plans. She loves it, plus I couldn't imagine transitioning her back to school after a 4 month hiatus. So I'm leaning towards keeping her enrolled. First I thought I'd keep her in full time, but then I started to like the idea of part time. But would I do 2 or 3 days each week or every day for half a day?

What have you ladies done with #1 while on mat leave with your 2nd/3rd/etc? I obviously need some ideas!

EastCoastBride · March 2012

Personally, I'd probably stick to FT. This isnt' a bust towards you - but every time I see this question posted, I really think "do you not remember how exhausting a newborn is????". At least the first few weeks, i'd want that time to be one on one w/ the baby and be able to catch a little sleep here and there when I could!

After the first few weeks, I could see keeping DS out of DC a day here and there to do some fun family stuff. But all in all.... I wouldn't really change it up all that much.

MrsSDgirl · March 2012

I kept my toddler (who was 22 months old when DS#2 was born) in daycare full time while I was on ML. He loves going there, and I didn't want to interupt his routine. You can, of coarse, just send him part time, but I think having all day alone with the baby is necessary for bonding, and establishing a routine, especially if you're breastfeeding. I never, even for a minute, thought to keep DS#1 home while I was on leave.

madhatter2003 · March 2012

We had our DD going 3 days a week while I was on leave, but DH only taught 3 days that semester too so he was home the 2 days that she was home with us.

ASmallWonder · March 2012

I'm not pregnant with my second yet but when I do have a 2nd I anticipate keeping DS1 in FT daycare. I figure that there's no way, at least in the first month or so, that I can give him all the attention, fun and playing that he'd get at daycare.

Leap08 · March 2012

We kept our daughter in daycare full time. She had just turned 2 when the baby was born. I think it was really good for her to have that consistency in her life. It was also really good for me and the baby to have that time alone.

Buffy2010 · March 2012

My kids are also 2 years apart and I kept the oldest in full time daycare while home with my youngest for 12 weeks. It was absolutely best for both of my kids. I stress easily and I was recovering from a C-section so it made my life a lot easier. Also, my daycare wouldn't have saved a spot for #2 if #1 wasn't enrolled. I would not be guaranteed a full time spot for #1 if I dropped her down to part time. Many big centers operate this way, especially if they have a waiting list.

ksyknelvr73 · March 2012

I don't have a second child yet, but this is something I've already thought about for when we are ready for #2. We plan to TTC starting first thing next year.

I will continue sending DS to day care, but more than likely will attempt to cut it back to 3 (full) days a week. We get a discounted rate, and he is still getting the benefit of being at day care and not just ripped out for a few months and then put back in to adjust. We also deal with this already in a way, b/c DH is a teacher and with him being out all summer, he wanted to keep DS at home with him the whole time and I just don't think it's a good idea. Babies/toddlers like routines and I'd think it'd be easier just to keep them in daycare AT LEAST part time if not more.

KoalaBear103 · March 2012

We are keeping r on his regular schedule, which is day care 3 days a week, home 2 days a week. Honestly I wish he was going ft right now. I love spending time with both of them, but I don't feel like e is getting the bonding time that r got. Plus, I'm freaking tired!

skyejo · March 2012

I see a FT trend here! The newborn stage...gah! Exhausting for everyone and trying to establish a bond with the new baby while chasing down a toddler is sort of a lose lose situation--I miss out on the all day bonding with the baby and DD won't get all the attention she needs either.

You girls are swinging me back to my FT idea. Though I'm sure that I'll flop flip between the different options for some time. Love the insight!

mommabear7182 · March 2012

I would do FT. Raising a newborn is exhausting and even more so with a toddler running around.

shannm · March 2012

I will be keeping DS on his current full time schedule. I am only going to be out of work for six weeks and I plan to really focus on the new LO and get as much rest as possible.

adkhiker · March 2012

madhatter2003:
We had our DD going 3 days a week while I was on leave, but DH only taught 3 days that semester too so he was home the 2 days that she was home with us.

Our situation is similar. DS will go down to part time (3 days) through November. DH is home the other days to help. We appreciate the money savings of part time for a few months.

bleu928 · March 2012

I am on ML now with a toddler and newborn. I considered DC for DS1 while on ML but figured that SAHMs keep their toddlers home with them when they have new babies so it seemed a bit unnecessary to send DS 1 while I was home.

Im glad I made my decision because it affords me more time with DS1 and he's getting really good at being a big brother. But it is exhausting and I feel like DS 1 isn't getting the stimulation he would have at DC. It's short term though so I think it's fine

OrangeSmoke · March 2012

My 3rd is due when the twins are 2 and they are absolutely staying in DC FT.

I thought about pulling them for parttime... but we are at a center and that would save me something like $100 a month. For that money, I would rather take the flexibilty and pick them up early on the days that I'm having a "good day".

Last go around, the infant experience for us was hectic to say the least. I'm looking forward to snuggling one new born.

JG362009 · March 2012

My son will be 2 when I have my baby. I'm totally keeping him in daycare FT for a few reasons -- first, the less interruptions to his schedule and daily routine, the better. He does so well with daycare and I'd actually feel bad disrupting his life even more after his new sibling comes. Second, I feel like I owe it to the new baby to be able to give him/her my mostly undivided attention during the day since that's what my first got. Finally, for my own sanity -- newborns are a crapshoot. I had a an easy one the first time around but it was still challenging. I can't imagine doing two at once. (I'm a wuss though.)

doodahsgurl · March 2012

I dropped enrollment to just 2 days each week during matering leave. I am so thankful that I did. I loved seeing DD get used to her new baby brother. I looked forward to each day with both of them at home with me because I knew that it would end soon enough when maternity leave was over.

SummerMama12 · March 2012

My son will be 3 years, 10 months when the new baby arrives. He is currently in FT daycare, but I plan to drop down to PT for the summer. He will be home with me and baby 2 days a week.

I wanted to add: I have a good friend who is due at the same time as me, and our sons are already good friends, so on days when he is home from school, I plan to take him and the baby out on playdates. Plus, my neighbor is home with her kids and has already agreed to help me out with taking all of our kids out and about/having them swim outside, etc. so I am not sitting alone in the house with a very bored child while I tend to the baby. If I didn't have those options for his non-daycare days, I would keep him in FT.

Cheerio B · March 2012

For at least the first few weeks or month I plan to leave DD in full time. I may make her days a little shorter (8ish hours instead of her usual 10) but I know I will need as much time to rest as possible. And with a new sibling I think sticking to her routine in the beginning will be really important for her too.

Once the baby starts sleeping better at night and I feel like I can handle it, I will probably keep her out one or two days a week. But I will play that by ear.

naflmj · March 2012

If DS were going back to his daycare I would probably keep him full time but he typically doesn't go during the summer and we are switching to an Au Pair at the end of my leave. When I get signed out of work at 32 weeks he will drop to part time and will continue part time through the end of the school year when babies are about a month old. It's going to be rough for him but financially we can't really swing it when I am not being paid during the summer and he is typically home during that time anway.

trackchik6 · March 2012

I am currently on 5 mo. of mat leave. DS1 attended daycare full time when I worked. I totally would have sent him to the same daycare part time during my mat leave if that was an option, but it wasn't. I pulled him out of daycare and he now goes to nursery school two mornings a week.

I am glad I have ds1 home with me on mat leave, but it's hard. I think going to the same daycare part time would have been ideal.

Babymamawithdrama · March 2012

I am in the same situation, my son is 2 yr 1 mo, prior to birth we kept him in daycare like normal (5 days) prior to giving birth, and then talked to our director and told her we would like to temporarily move him to part time, based on her recommendation we figured for 3 days (MWF).... I like him being at home while I am not working, but don't want to completely disrupt his schedule. I will add that having both at home is a handful. The center is very accomodating and said if we need to change the days of the week or number of days that it wouldn't be a problem. Some days drop off are rough, but the 3 day week has been working for us

xmasbabymama · March 2012

I took at 15 or 16 week leave when my second was born. Oldest was two and a half. For the first 5-6 weeks she went full time. Then I dropped down to 3 days a week, but I was also going back to work at 3 days a week. I loved having her around the extra time, but some of those days were exhausting.

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