My creepy husband. (NTTCALR)

danaunclaw · March 2012

Anybody else have a husband who talks in his sleep? Mine only does it occasionally, but when he does it's always disturbing. Last night it was:

*yells* I'll NEVER find it!!! *whispers creepily* I'll never find it.

I never figured out what he was trying to find and had to work to keep in the giggles so that I wouldn't wake him. He speaks a couple different languages too. Let me tell you that your husband repeatedly whispering in Arabic in the middle of the night is not comforting when you don't understand his ramblings. Turns out he just wanted me to turn the tv down that night. Sounded freaky though. Now when he speaks French he could be saying anything and I still want to jump his bones. .

Bizzy80 · March 2012

LOL, this is funny. My husband occasionally talks in his sleep too. Usually he just says mumbo jumbo stuff and then he will giggle. It always wakes me up and makes me laugh. Doing it in a different language though would be creepy!

atmidwoodtobe · March 2012

Bahaha! That's too funny!

My husband talks in his sleep as well, but it never ever makes sense. This morning I was sitting at my vanity, getting ready for work, and He starts talking about destroying the tiki lights, or something like that. He rambles about the most bizarre things...

blessedhope · March 2012

Funny! The week we were married my husband jumped up in bed and got on his knees acting scared saying, "who are you? Who are you!" He was scarring me so bad and he wouldn't wake up! I started slapping him and i think it broke whatever nigtmare he was having because he laid back down mumbling quietly, "who are you? who are you..." I was still freaked out and wouldn't go back to sleep until i knew he knew who I was. I was afraid he would think i was an intruder and hurt me in his sleep or something. I was shaking him saying, "say my name!" he finally mumbled my name. The next morning he din't remember it at all.

AngnShaun · March 2012

We both do... sometimes it gets weird lol

Idk if you anyone has Cablevision, or anyone that lives in the Cablevision area... the original commericals for IO Digital Cable, with the spanish girls singing... he would sing FOUR, FOUR, FOUR, EIGHT, in his sleep... he also likes to talk with a Brogue in his sleep too...

lau1021 · March 2012

LOL! thats funny! My hubby talks in his sleep once in a while. Usually he will say something in regards to work. Not too long ago I was awake watching tv & he was out cold snoring and he farted and scared himself to the point he yelled and jumped out of bed. I literally pee'd myself laughing so hard! But wow, talking in different languages would freak me out!

danaunclaw · March 2012

atmidwoodtobe:
Bahaha! That's too funny!

My husband talks in his sleep as well, but it never ever makes sense. This morning I was sitting at my vanity, getting ready for work, and He starts talking about destroying the tiki lights, or something like that. He rambles about the most bizarre things...

Tiki lights are known for their destructive powers and must be killed. LOL

danaunclaw · March 2012

Oh these are hilarious. Love it! I'll be checking this thread all day!!!! I need the giggles.

atmidwoodtobe · March 2012

danaunclaw:
atmidwoodtobe:

Bahaha! That's too funny!

My husband talks in his sleep as well, but it never ever makes sense. This morning I was sitting at my vanity, getting ready for work, and He starts talking about destroying the tiki lights, or something like that. He rambles about the most bizarre things...

Tiki lights are known for their destructive powers and must be killed. LOL

Yes I literally just LOL'd at my desk!

csspencer · March 2012

My husband talks in his sleep, but usually I have no clue what he's saying. He just mumbles. But before we were married he woke me up talking about becoming a vegetarian, but needing his meat. I nearly died laughing, he wasn't too amused the next morning when I tried telling him and I was laughing too hard to make any sense.

GatorBaby2012 · March 2012

LOL! Awesome! I am a sleep talker, but mostly just mumble incoherently. The only time it is coherent is if there is music on while I'm sleeping because I tend to sing along.

StephRN23 · March 2012

These are hilarious! There have been a few occasions when MH has talked in his sleep. Unfortunately, some of the things he said were kind of dirty and I'm embarssed to repeat them. LOL

DCWJes · March 2012

My DH does! Not creepily though.

The first thanksgiving we had together, we were still dating and he started blabbing in his sleep. He was talking about how he was late for work. I started talking about it with him, and he argued with me. He kept saying how he was going to be late for work. He even got up, turned on the shower, peed, and then yelled at me that I had no towels. I told him the towels were in the small closet in my bathroom, I heard him opening and closing the door and he again yelled I had no towels. I finally convinced him to go back to bed. But he kept sitting up to tell me I was making him late for work.

He gave up on that. But 5 mins later, he starts going on about "you aren't making it right". He was a chef at the time, so I played along. I asked him how I wasn't making it right. He said he didn't know and I needed to remake it. I finally told him, "well then you make it!" and he says "well why am I paying you?!" he woke up 5 mins later with no recollection of any of this.

Dh has done stuff like that before so I wasn't creeped out, he has ordered food from a friend and started a vehicle, all in his sleep. He told me what his friend had told him before this episode. We laugh about it.

Cubskers · March 2012

My husband talks in his sleep about 2-3 times a week. Alot of times, it's about work. I've started recording him so we can laugh about it together. I wish I could attach sound clips to a thread! Here are some good quotes:

4:58am (2/2011)
"Hello? Yep, that's me I'm here - just doing my groove thing... Yeah, I have money maker, it's called my job. Im not only professional, I'm also punctual.

1:16am(3/2011) - One of our dogs was sleeping with us and he was talking to him..
"I want you to stay out of my inbox, outbox, my trash, junk and spam folder and my databases. Just stay out of my computer alright? I'm gonna be looking for your fur around the keyboard, so stay away from it." --- seconds later, you can hear Cody lick him and wake him up. Smile

11:46pm (5/11)
"So when are we having snausages at this party? Sausage has fallen out of graces in most social circles" "If you still want to have a party, you have to have sausage. And not in the conventional sense at most parties. They must have sausage that can be consumed legally."

He seriously cracks me up. This is the most random stuff. I swear we never talked about sausage...

danaunclaw · March 2012

DCWJes:
My DH does! Not creepily though.
The first thanksgiving we had together, we were still dating and he started blabbing in his sleep. He was talking about how he was late for work. I started talking about it with him, and he argued with me. He kept saying how he was going to be late for work. He even got up, turned on the shower, peed, and then yelled at me that I had no towels. I told him the towels were in the small closet in my bathroom, I heard him opening and closing the door and he again yelled I had no towels. I finally convinced him to go back to bed. But he kept sitting up to tell me I was making him late for work.
He gave up on that. But 5 mins later, he starts going on about "you aren't making it right". He was a chef at the time, so I played along. I asked him how I wasn't making it right. He said he didn't know and I needed to remake it. I finally told him, "well then you make it!" and he says "well why am I paying you?!" he woke up 5 mins later with no recollection of any of this.
Dh has done stuff like that before so I wasn't creeped out, he has ordered food from a friend and started a vehicle, all in his sleep. He told me what his friend had told him before this episode. We laugh about it.

Wow. Does he take ambien or something!?!? My brother did for a while and he would regularly call me, talk for 30 minutes and have no clue we had spoken the next morning. I could always tell if it was an ambien induced call.

Once I came into work and checked MySpace (years ago obviously). He had taken his shirt off, taken pictures of himself (very weird, crazy eyed pics), loaded the pics onto his computer, posted them on MS and given them really odd captions like "damn dirty apes!!!!". He had no recollection. I called him and when he answered he said "I already know. I'm taking them down". He had no memory of doing it. Psycho!!!!

danaunclaw · March 2012

Cubskers:
My husband talks in his sleep about 2-3 times a week. Alot of times, it's about work. I've started recording him so we can laugh about it together. I wish I could attach sound clips to a thread! Here are some good quotes:

4:58am (2/2011)
"Hello? Yep, that's me I'm here - just doing my groove thing... Yeah, I have money maker, it's called my job. Im not only professional, I'm also punctual.

1:16am(3/2011) - One of our dogs was sleeping with us and he was talking to him..
"I want you to stay out of my inbox, outbox, my trash, junk and spam folder and my databases. Just stay out of my computer alright? I'm gonna be looking for your fur around the keyboard, so stay away from it." --- seconds later, you can hear Cody lick him and wake him up.

11:46pm (5/11)
"So when are we having snausages at this party? Sausage has fallen out of graces in most social circles" "If you still want to have a party, you have to have sausage. And not in the conventional sense at most parties. They must have sausage that can be consumed legally."

He seriously cracks me up. This is the most random stuff. I swear we never talked about sausage...

OMG that's hilarious. There's a chick who does that and has a website where she sells shirts with his random sayings. Is that you!?!? If not I think you could capitalize on this.

mrsgaines100 · March 2012

That is so funny. DH talks jibberish himself sometimes, but nothing that hilarious!

benoitfan · March 2012

lau1021:
LOL! thats funny! My hubby talks in his sleep once in a while. Usually he will say something in regards to work. Not too long ago I was awake watching tv & he was out cold snoring and he farted and scared himself to the point he yelled and jumped out of bed. I literally pee'd myself laughing so hard! But wow, talking in different languages would freak me out!

And we havea WINNER!! LOL! too funny!

Bizzy80 · March 2012

benoitfan:

lau1021:
LOL! thats funny! My hubby talks in his sleep once in a while. Usually he will say something in regards to work. Not too long ago I was awake watching tv & he was out cold snoring and he farted and scared himself to the point he yelled and jumped out of bed. I literally pee'd myself laughing so hard! But wow, talking in different languages would freak me out!

And we havea WINNER!! LOL! too funny!

I'm dying over here right now!!! LMAO

sammer818 · March 2012

Hilarious! I don't think I would have been able to control my laughter. You are a stronger woman than I!

kiki4 · March 2012

That is too funny!

I talk in my sleep. I discovered it during my flight attendant days. I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with another flight attendant. We both happened to be home for a couple of days. One night, I woke myself up talking; it was just mumbled jibberish...before I could go back to sleep, my roommate answered me with a little of her own jibberish. I was floored - as if we didn't talk enough when we were awake! Out of curiosity, I said something else just to see if I had imaginied it...she answered me again. I was laughing about it the next morning when I told her we had conversations in our sleep.

willamina28 · March 2012

danaunclaw:
Anybody else have a husband who talks in his sleep? Mine only does it occasionally, but when he does it's always disturbing. Last night it was:
*yells* I'll NEVER find it!!! *whispers creepily* I'll never find it.
I never figured out what he was trying to find and had to work to keep in the giggles so that I wouldn't wake him. He speaks a couple different languages too. Let me tell you that your husband repeatedly whispering in Arabic in the middle of the night is not comforting when you don't understand his ramblings. Turns out he just wanted me to turn the tv down that night. Sounded freaky though. Now when he speaks French he could be saying anything and I still want to jump his bones. .

LOL

BTW is your husband a SPY!??!

danaunclaw · March 2012

willamina28:
danaunclaw:
Anybody else have a husband who talks in his sleep? Mine only does it occasionally, but when he does it's always disturbing. Last night it was:
*yells* I'll NEVER find it!!! *whispers creepily* I'll never find it.
I never figured out what he was trying to find and had to work to keep in the giggles so that I wouldn't wake him. He speaks a couple different languages too. Let me tell you that your husband repeatedly whispering in Arabic in the middle of the night is not comforting when you don't understand his ramblings. Turns out he just wanted me to turn the tv down that night. Sounded freaky though. Now when he speaks French he could be saying anything and I still want to jump his bones. .

LOL
BTW is your husband a SPY!??!

Haha. Nope. He's just a foreigner. . I may start telling people he's a spy. That's a lot cooler than a CFO. Right!?

[Deleted User] · March 2012

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DCWJes · March 2012

danaunclaw:
DCWJes:
My DH does! Not creepily though.
The first thanksgiving we had together, we were still dating and he started blabbing in his sleep. He was talking about how he was late for work. I started talking about it with him, and he argued with me. He kept saying how he was going to be late for work. He even got up, turned on the shower, peed, and then yelled at me that I had no towels. I told him the towels were in the small closet in my bathroom, I heard him opening and closing the door and he again yelled I had no towels. I finally convinced him to go back to bed. But he kept sitting up to tell me I was making him late for work.
He gave up on that. But 5 mins later, he starts going on about "you aren't making it right". He was a chef at the time, so I played along. I asked him how I wasn't making it right. He said he didn't know and I needed to remake it. I finally told him, "well then you make it!" and he says "well why am I paying you?!" he woke up 5 mins later with no recollection of any of this.
Dh has done stuff like that before so I wasn't creeped out, he has ordered food from a friend and started a vehicle, all in his sleep. He told me what his friend had told him before this episode. We laugh about it.
Wow. Does he take ambien or something!?!? My brother did for a while and he would regularly call me, talk for 30 minutes and have no clue we had spoken the next morning. I could always tell if it was an ambien induced call.
Once I came into work and checked MySpace (years ago obviously). He had taken his shirt off, taken pictures of himself (very weird, crazy eyed pics), loaded the pics onto his computer, posted them on MS and given them really odd captions like "damn dirty apes!!!!". He had no recollection. I called him and when he answered he said "I already know. I'm taking them down". He had no memory of doing it. Psycho!!!!

Nope, no ambien for my dh! He just does it at random. And the thing is, with that day, he had the next day off!!

peloquinJ · March 2012

This post is full of win! I have nothing funny to add though

Deethebee · March 2012

MH did it once, and I thought he was having a legitimate conversation with me. The next day he didn't remember anything. My gripe with MH is that he is constantly flailing his arms and elbowing me in the head. I've hit him back a few times out of annoyance!

DCWJes · March 2012

Deethebee:
MH did it once, and I thought he was having a legitimate conversation with me. The next day he didn't remember anything. My gripe with MH is that he is constantly flailing his arms and elbowing me in the head. I've hit him back a few times out of annoyance!

For some reason, I beat the crap outta my husband in my sleep. I have hit him in the manhood more times than he cares to remember. He also says I throw a mean right hook and I have elbowed him. He has had tons of bloody noses because of me too. Luckily, no black eyes.

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