Natural birth with hypnobabies (but not really)

First I'd like to clarify about the hypnobabies.  I started practicing hypnobabies at about 24 weeks and I listened to the scripts faithfully but did not do the finger drop practice hardly at all.  I also wasn't able to start my scripts in early labor because I was home alone with my 21 month old.  I'm not sure if it was not practicing the finger drop or if my mind just didn't believe that childbirth could be pain free or what but the hypnosis part did not work for me.  I did however find the breathing practice and other information in the workbook very helpful!

Now on to the birth story...

I had been 3cm and 50-60% effaced at my 38 week appointment, 4 cm and 80% effaced and 0 station at my 39 week appointment and 4cm and 90% effaced at my 40 week appointment.  I decided to have the doctor strip my membranes at my 40 week appointment.  This happened at about 10 in the morning.  I went home and had a little bit of spotting and some cramping but nothing too bad.  I took a nap with my son from about 1:30 to 2:30.  Towards the end of the nap I was waking up with some contractions but nothing I even had to breathe through.  I got up and at about 3:00 I realized the contractions were actually getting a little stronger.  I didn't start timing them until about 3:30 because they just seemed so sporadic.  At 3:30 they were 3-5 minutes apart.  I called my husband at work and he was finally able to get home at about 4:15.  At that point they were 2-3 minutes apart.  I hopped in the shower and was taking my time.  I felt perfectly fine in between the contractions and I wanted to stay home as long as possible before going to the hospital.  My husband started getting really antsy though so we left the house at about 4:45 and arrived at the hospital at 5:15.  They checked us in and asked a million questions.  It was not very comfortable sitting in the hospital bed with the monitors on and I was definitely having to focus during the contractions.  Finally they were done admitting me at 6:15 and the nurse came in and checked me.  I was 7 cm!  My whole pregnancy it was my goal to not get to the hospital til I was 7 and I was happy it actually happened!  I sat in the bed for another 15 minutes getting monitored but it was getting more difficult to relax through the contractions.  I asked to get into the tub and was given specific instructions that if I feel pressure I need to get out and there was absolutely no pushing while in the tub.  My first contraction in the tub was WAY easier but they quickly became VERY strong and the tub wasn't even helping.  I asked to get out of the tub at 7 pm because the pressure on my butt was getting unbearable so I knew I was close.  It was so hard to get out of the tub because every time I tried to stand up I'd have another contraction.  I felt like I had to pee and poop but the thought of trying to pee was too difficult.  Every time I'd empty my bladder it would cause a really strong contraction.  I finally got out of the tub and they checked me and said I was a 9 with a bulging bag of waters.  I agreed to have them break my water because laying on the bed during contractions was excrutiating and the pressure on my butt was extremely intense so I just wanted it over.  They checked me right after they broke my water and I was 10 with a small lip.  It felt impossible to breathe through the contractions.  I couldn't even feel a break in between at all. The nurses and DH were great to remind me to just breathe in through my nose and out of my mouth. When I did that I did find relief but some of the time I honestly just yelled because of the pain.  It wasn't really a cry of pain but more of a yell that I'm mad about the pain.  Two minutes later they checked me again and the lip was gone.  I was relieved but also terrified to start pushing.  They had to keep reminding me to drop my knees to the side.  For some reason I just kept trying to close my knees.  It seemed to make it less painful but obviously I couldn't keep my legs shut while pushing haha. My first push was painful but he was so low that it felt better than just laying in pain on the bed.  With my second push I didn't get a big breath but my body started pushing for me even when I was out of breath.  It was the weirdest feeling.  With that one I got the head out.  I don't remember ever really feeling the sting of the ring of fire.  I was so happy to get his head out but then I remember saying "it still hurts!". The doctor reminded me that I still had to push out the shoulders. At that point I pushed through the pain just because I wanted it over. So after less than five minutes of pushing Lucas James was born at 7:21pm on January 13th.  He was 7lbs 9.8oz and 19.5 inches long. I had a 2nd degree tear and then a small tear in the front that did not require any stitches. After he came out they put him on my belly and I looked up at DH and he told me he was so proud of me. It felt amazing.

My recovery has been night and day from my first son.  With my first I had an epidural and I felt like I would never recover afterward. I passed out and felt queasy and disgusting for the first 12 hours after I had him. My swelling was huge and my tears were extremely painful. I couldnt even lay in my bed for the first week home. This time I felt great afterward and not once have I felt a sting while peeing. I looked at my swelling two days after I had him and I was hardly swollen. Breastfeeding has been a lot harder this time but we are pushing through!