Strange mix of emotions (Pregnancy Mentioned... not mine)

tashpede · March 2012

We found out the sex of my SIL's second baby yesterday. I still feel a bit upset that we were never "told" she was pregnant... just the picture text of her two beautiful pink lines on the day of my cycle three stark white test. And we hit a really rough spot where I was very open in how jealous I was of her and she never actually talked to me about it over the phone as I had hoped for, but through text.

Now, I knew they were going to find out the sex of the baby yesterday and sent her a text (since that seems to be her only preferred form of communication) that she please tell us before announcing it on FB. Well, I get a text from her telling DH and I to check FB if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. I get on and, of course, she has this huge picture of our niece with a shirt that says "Big Sister" and the other she is wearing says "Little Brother" on her beautiful, perfect, bulging, baby bump. And then went the waterworks...

One I was secretly hoping they would have another girl. Stupid and selfish? I know. But, I at least wanted to have the possibility of having the first grandson if we were to get pregnant. Second... I just feel so left out. Why couldn't she just tell me? DH was livid. His exact words were, "Why does she have to make it a huge production? We are family, I'm her brother... why do we have to find out like everyone else?"

So, while I was sad... I was also overwhelmed with excitement. This will be my first nephew... and well, as strange as it sounds I have been anxious to buy baby stuff since our EDD (2/21). So, last night I bought a ton of onesies as they have no boy stuff at all and today I used a coupon I got in the mail right before my due date from Pampers and ordered them 284 count box of diapers. I might as well put it to good use as I obviously can't use them myself.

It was so bittersweet checking out at the register last night. I was looking at the cute little clothes thinking, "I should be buying these same outfits for my own LO right now", but at the same time relieved that I finally got it out of my system.

This whole situation has been a roller coaster of emotions since we found out she was pregnant and now I'm just waiting to get over the final hurdle - the birth. Oh, how I pray I am pregnant - healthfully - by that time.

Kpsbabyzoe · March 2012

This is a lot! ((hugs)) And kudos to you for being so supportive even if your SIL didn't present her pregnancy to you in the best way she could have...

I'm praying with you that you are healthfully pregnant well before she gives birth!

tashpede · March 2012

RosiePeare:
First, tashpede, so glad you're back! I missed you!!
Your actions speak, once again, to what an amazingly strong woman you are. To be able to step outside of yourself--even when your SIL is being a royal b**ch, is insanely admirable. Pretty sure I couldn't do the same...

I'm glad I'm back too. I was missing a ton of you... but the break worked well and everything is back on track

I hope everything has been going well for!!

AnoraStar · March 2012

My sister is pregnant with her second (she as a DD) and I'm hoping it's another girl so we can have the first grandson too. I feel horrible about it so I'm super glad to see someone else admit it too!

And I'm sorry you had to find out about everything that way. I think it's inconsiderate and rude; you are family after all! Does she know about your loss? B/c if she does and still did that, I'd be even more pissed if I were you.

I hope your KU by the time she gives birth (or before). I'm praying for the same with my sister. It doesn't help she's due almost exactly a month after my EDD.

FX for you.

jonesdouglas · March 2012

((hugs))

Wow. You are so incredibly strong! I think you are handling this situation great and I can only imagine how you are feeling on the inside. I cant believe she posted it on FB after you asked her to tell you all first.

Ugh.

tashpede · March 2012

JRomeH:
Wow, that's just a lot right there, no wonder your emotions are all over the place with the situation. The text with the pregnancy test results?? I find that just weird, you ladies are the only ones I would expect to see that from.
It's super irritating that she didn't bother to respect you enough to share the gender privately with you and DH before her fb announcement.
I'm sorry that you're going through this ((hugs)).

DH and I made a pact last night that there will be absolutely no Facebooking any pregnancy stuff at all when it's our turn. It's like he said - it's just asking to hurt someone's feelings. We will be privately updating people as we progress... people will know via Facebook if they see a picture of me pregnant or holding a baby more frequently.

minicheezburg · March 2012

Sweetheart you already have my feelings on this situation and you know what to do if you wanna chat. In the mean time (((((HUGE HUGS)))))

tashpede · March 2012

AnoraStar:
My sister is pregnant with her second (she as a DD) and I'm hoping it's another girl so we can have the first grandson too. I feel horrible about it so I'm super glad to see someone else admit it too!
And I'm sorry you had to find out about everything that way. I think it's inconsiderate and rude; you are family after all! Does she know about your loss? B/c if she does and still did that, I'd be even more pissed if I were you.
I hope your KU by the time she gives birth (or before). I'm praying for the same with my sister. It doesn't help she's due almost exactly a month after my EDD.
FX for you.

I thought I was the only one who felt that way! Whew! I don't feel as bad now

Yes, she does know about my loss. What breaks my heart even more is the fact that she was the only person in DH's family that asked me regularly long after our loss how I was doing. She was the only person that even knew we were TTC again, which I think is why her unexpected pregnancy kind of slapped me in the face. It just makes me sad because I feel like we were much closer than I feel we are now. Hopefully it will get better after our nephew is born... but who knows.

tashpede · March 2012

minicheezburg:
Sweetheart you already have my feelings on this situation and you know what to do if you wanna chat. In the mean time (((((HUGE HUGS)))))

Wink

*muah* You know I love you, right!?

raashton · March 2012

Hugs, sweetie. And more hugs! You are such a strong woman, an amazing auntie, and your SIL has no idea how good she has it being in your family!

LaTi07 · March 2012

Oh hun, BIG (hugs). You are an incredibly strong woman and a lot more mature than I.

minicheezburg · March 2012

tashpede:

minicheezburg:
Sweetheart you already have my feelings on this situation and you know what to do if you wanna chat. In the mean time (((((HUGE HUGS)))))

*muah* You know I love you, right!?

I do and that is why DH is worried LMAO!

[Deleted User] · March 2012

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pinktrojanbride120107 · March 2012

First, welcome back.

Second - wow, tashpede - you are so classy! It's so obvious to me that you have a genuine, kind, heart. I hope your SIL realizes that soon so that she treats it right.

SunnyCanadian · March 2012

I'm sorry tashpede that you have a b!tch of a SIL - but you handled yourself better than I could ever dream of!! And getting excited for a new little nephew is a good way to put a good spin on this! ((Hugs))

TeacherMer · March 2012

pinktrojanbride120107:
First, welcome back.
Second - wow, tashpede - you are so classy! It's so obvious to me that you have a genuine, kind, heart. I hope your SIL realizes that soon so that she treats it right.

This exactly! How upsetting and disappointing to discover the news on fb. I hope your sil quits the weird behavior soon. Hang in there.

baby&thesea · March 2012

So sorry she was so inconsiderate. It sounds like it handled it well.

I was also secretly hoping my sister would have two boys when she got pregnant with her second about six cycles into our TTC journey. But, she found out it was a girl the night before I got my BFP. Then I lost our baby four days later.

I hope things get better for you. I have had several relationships where we lost closeness because of pregnancies and it majorly stinks. Kudos for being a true lady.

mijakach · March 2012

Wow, it sounds like your SIL is a bit of an AW. I don't understand why she couldn't just tell you she was pregnant and just tell you the sex of the baby without making a big production out of it. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. But I'm definitely proud of you for being so mature about it. I'm not sure if I'd be able to do that. ((Hugs))

amidkiff · March 2012

((Big Hugs)) I know how it feels to have a SIL like that. I hope you have your BFP before the birth too. More ((Big Squishy Hugs))

StephRN23 · March 2012

I'm sorry you are going through that. Don't feel selfish at all for wanting the first grandson. My future SIL found out she was pregnant a month before I did with my second pregnancy. Mine, obviously, didn't work out. We have had some issues with not being as close to each other because of this. I too had told her how I was feeling and now she has distanced herself from me. They found out a couple weeks ago they are having a boy, which for our family, will be the first grandson also. She told me before they found out that she "knew it was a girl" because "we want a boy so bad". I told her no matter what they are having, they should be happy they are even having a kid. But I am glad you were able to buy stuff for your new nephew. I still am not at that place yet.

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Strange mix of emotions (Pregnancy Mentioned... not mine)

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