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Blended Families
I hate that I spy on BM(vent)
It has been almost 2 months since the court made the decision that BM will have to have professional supervised visits once a week and she has to pay for it ($40 per hour that she wants). She would call DH and say that it was too expensive and see if there is something else they can work out. DH always says no. There has been no visits and no phone calls in 2+ weeks. I looked her up on facebook last week, it so happens she has yet another new bf who is a drug addict. She posted a new picture, and low and behold she had her hair and nails done and it looks like pretty nice clothes and has moved an hour and half away. She can afford that but not see her wonderful little girls? What kind of mom does this? I have to stop myself from spying but it is so hard. All it does is get me more angry, nothing good comes out of it. We have a review hearing in June and if there is no agreement between the parties it will go to a judge.
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Re: I hate that I spy on BM(vent)
As a former internet stalker of BM I have to tell you that you are right. Nothing good comes from doing this. It does nothing to help and it only hurts/angers you. You can't know BMs situation from a post/picture on FB. Most people are putting their best foot forward on FB anyway. She isn't going to post a picture of herself looking like a loser. I know it is hard not to do. This is a good place to post when you need support. Instead of spying on BM, post here.
While I agree that it only bothers you, I disagree that you can't tell anything from a FB picture.
The problem is that BM doesn't care. She isn't going to make a miraculous recovery and start to care. So you are only confirming what you know. You are hoping she will change, but when you see she hasn't you feel bad.
The reason DH got custody of SS is because SS was failing 1st grade. We had to do LOTS of reading (and other stuff) to catch up. Every other weekend SS would return from visiting Bm and I would ask "did you do any reading this weekend?" The answer was ALWAYS no. She never read with him. So I had to realize that I was only making myself crabby expecting her to change and I needed to stop asking.
Live your life and hope for the best from BM, but be realistic. If her hair and nails are more important to her than her children, it will probably not change.
^^ This. I blocked BM a couple years ago. I even took it a million steps further and blocked all her family members and her friends on FB. Even though my profile is private, I didn't want her gaining even a smidge of access through her friends. It has actually been really helpful because then I'm not tempted to ever look on her page.
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I have BM blocked. She was still lurking my facebook and causing drama every second she could, so i had to un block her and block all of her family and friends that we have in common. I can't play games because she tries to find me on them and everything i mean EVERYTHING is private on my page. Havent heard anything about it lately but im sure it's comming! It alllllwwwaaayys is!
I have BM blocked. She was still lurking my facebook and causing drama every second she could, so i had to un block her and block all of her family and friends that we have in common. I can't play games because she tries to find me on them and everything i mean EVERYTHING is private on my page. Havent heard anything about it lately but im sure it's comming! It alllllwwwaaayys is!
Just block her! Every once in a while I look up BM (she's got everything on private so I can only see her profile pic) and her daughter, but it always leaves me with a gross feeling. And then DH "became friends" with his ex-SD so I blocked her and BM so they can't see my stuff through his page. I hate that they can see into our lives on his page, but he doesn't agree with me so we're stuck.
But yeah, don't waste your time and feelings on her! She's not worth it!
I used to be FB friends with my H's exwife, until we had our falling out. She used to comment on ALL my posts and pictures. It was weird. I will admit that I have clicked on her page recently, when I saw a post on a mutual friend's page, but her profile is private.