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Blended Families
Enforcing Court Orders
My husband and BM have a final divorce decree which spells out what visitation has been awarded to DH for spring break, summers, and the winter holiday. Last year we did not realize that we would have to inform BM of the dates we would have the children for our 7 weeks over the summer before a certain date. Per the Indiana parenting guidelines. So last year we planned our vacations away from work and gave her the dates. She then informed us, per the guidelines, we did not give her the dates before the deadline so she had the right to pick when the children would be with us. Okay, that really sucked but, lesson learned. So this year my Husband sent her and her lawyer a certified letter with the dates for summer visitation. She is now saying she does not agree with the dates and she will not abide by them. When my Husband stated that the court order says he can choose what dates they are with us she said take her to court then. He replied that they had already been though this fight in court. She basically said take a leap and she is going to do what she wants have a nice night.
So, my question is this, in your experiances, what can we do to enforce the court order? My husband talked to the police last year when she refused to abide by the winter holiday dates and they were little help. They said they could go to the house and talk to her but ultimately it is up to her to release the children. If she can just dictate what ever she wants even with the court order in place, what is the point?
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Re: Enforcing Court Orders
I would have filed contempt if you provided dates for last winter's visitation in time and she still did not follow the CO. If you didn't unfortunatley you missed a golden opportunity to nip that behavior in the bud.
Does your DH have her refusal for Summer dates in writing from her? I would contact your attorney and get the ball rolling, she will continue this until she faces a judge and sanctions.
I'm sorry you are going thru this.
good luck. the best way to prove anything is to make sure everything is in writing (print text messages, communicate via e-mail or letter etc)
depends on the wording of the CO but if she is refusing, file contempt. like pp said it will probably just be a slap on the wrist the first time but if it becomes a pattern judges have very little patience when it comes to BM's that do this.
I agree your first step would be to contact your attorney, have him draft up a firmly worded letter and send it to her and her attorney. if her attorney see's the stunts her client is pulling she might have a talk with her...
I have also read that multiple contempt charges, specifically revolving around alienation of the other parent, is grounds for a change in custody. FWIW - I would file every single time to build a case. The first time, she would probably laugh it off, but serious consequences will arise from multiple violations. Your DH's lawyer as well as hers should know this and if they are worth their salt, advise her to prevent such action.
Don't play her games, get serious.And yes, unfortunatley in a lot of cases, this is what life has in store. A constant battle. It's emotionally draining and very well can be financially as well.
Is your attorney on retainer? If so, I think it would totally be worth it to have your attorney send her a letter notifying her that if she doesn't release the children to YH, you'll see her in court.
If she doesn't give you the kids, then you would have to follow up and file the contempt charges.
If your husband has an attorney and BM has an attorney, the attorneys need to talk. Every state is a bit different, but your husband generally cannot contact BM's attorney if he has his own representation. If she doesn't have an attorney, as fellesferie said, have your husband's attorney send her a certified letter citing the conditions of the CO and warning her that failure to comply will result in legal action. If she still laughs, have your husband follow through with the hearing. Her behavior and disregard for the CO will not change until she is admonished by a Judge and faces some sort of punishment.
It's been my experience with our BM (back when she had an attorney) that once her attorney was notified of her refusal to cooperate and the threat of a hearing was in place, her attorney basically told her to quite playing games and follow the rules. BM is obviously not scared of your husband, but she will be scared if she's actually brought before a Judge to explain her behavior. It's only March now, your husband and his attorney should have plenty of time to get the paperwork drawn up, have her served and have the hearing before Summer. Going to Court over this sucks, but it obviously needs to be done to make her comply.
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My experience in having court orders enforced is bad unfortunately. My exh just ignores all judgements against him. We go back to court for enforcement and then he finally complies, 6+ months later... and by that time we are back in court for more enforcement.
Honestly, at the beginning of all this I thought that after a while he would realize that he is going to lose and start complying, but my experience has been that he just keeps on going. He represents himself each time, so it is no $$ off his back to go back to court unfortunately.
I just keep taking him back to court, and that is the advice I would give you as well. Hopefully someday it will work... hopefully your BM is not as stubborn as my exh.
Good luck.
Exactly. If her attorney knows she's screwing around he/she may refuse to work with her any more.
We've added those in and have been awarded them, but so far it does not make a difference in his behavior... hopefully after a few more filings it might. On my good days I feel optimistic, on my bad days not so much.