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Being kicked out of daycare - thoughts?
This is my AE because I don't want my DCP to know I'm posting (call me paranoid, but the internet is public).
I have two kids, an almost 3y boy and an almost 1y girl. We've used the same DCP (at-home daycare, licensed, etc) since DS was born. DD joined after she was born. We love our DCP and she's truly a wonderful caregiver. We are moving at the beginning of August. We told our DCP this when we found out last November have been joking that we want her to move with us. On Tuesday, she EMAILED me with a brief note that said that she's found DD's replacement, but that the new baby needed to start in May. Because of this, she won't be able to care for DD anymore (she is at her max of 5 kids). She can continue to care for DS. She wanted to give us "as much notice as possible" to we can make arrangements. Umm, WTF??? She's is KICKING OUT our daughter (but can keep caring for our son).
I understand that she needs to find replacements for our kids, but we aren't leaving until AUGUST!!! So now our choices are find a new daycare for the baby and leave our toddler with the original DCP, take them both out when the baby has to leave (May), or take them BOTH out now and find a new provider for the next 4-5 months.
I'd love some advice or words of wisdom.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Being kicked out of daycare - thoughts?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Mommy to DS#1 7/1/04 and DS#2 6/15/07
M/C 2/16/10 at 9wks 5 days~ D&C 2/18/10
BFP#4 5/17/11 C/P.
BFP#5 11/30/12 Surprise! DS#3 born 7/29/13
I wanted to say exactly this but I knew it would be a purely emotional reaction. A little voice inside my head would wonder if I would be doing harm to the oldest by moving them 2x (once now and once after the move). But I don't think I could smile and play nicely with the DCP from now until the move date. So that would just mean me moving both now.
like the others - I would be pissed and would move them now.
like the others - I would be pissed and would move them both now.
I'd find something new and whatever the shortest amount of time it is that you "have" to give her, that's what I'd give her.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would make decisions with your best interest in mind. So, I would start looking and once you find a place that you are comfortable with give the notice in your contract and move on; I would look with the intent of moving both, but if for some reason you want to split - you have the option. I wouldn't like that, though, too much hassle. Something to consider, though, is that with the move in August your son will be enduring a lot of change; to have to change him twice in a few months might be much, so it may make sense to leave him where he is.
While I think it is tacky - particularly in the way it was handled - the dcp is looking out for her own best interest. Lesson learned that next time maybe don't give as much notice. I know you had good intent, but it is what it is.
You *could* indicate to the provider that if you have to move now then you will be moving both b/c it is too much to have 2 different day cares - and see if she would consider waiting until August.
I understand bitterness but at this point I would try to get beyond that and try to make decisions based on your kids and not spitefulness.
Cooper: 11/20/11
Julian: EDD 8/1/16
PCOS & Endo. w/ DOR
Our contract is almost 3y old and basically says that either party can give two weeks notice (standard stuff). So there isn't anything there.
My first reaction was shocked, then utter betrayal. This person has basically been a second mother to my two kids. And she's a FRIEND (we've gone shopping together, borrow DVDs, etc). It's not just a business relationship. That's why I was so flabbergasted. I know that she's been worried about finding a replacement (with my kids leaving, her salary is cut by 40%) and summer tends to be a slow time for daycare (again, leaving in AUGUST). But I wish she would have at least called us to talk about it. DH is royally ticked and wants to yank the kids now. I'm still torn.
If you can't find something for both of them, you still want the option of being able to leave your DS. But personally, I'd ABSOLUTELY be looking for somewhere that they can both go.
Especially as you're relationship goes past just her being your DCP, I'd have a VERY hard time continuing to go there and play nice for 5 more months.
And honestly, I don't know taht I'd trust her to not fill your DS's spot before August! She's done it once, she could very well do it again....
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Personally, I'd be pissed. I would find a new place and take both kids out ASAP.
I can't believe she didn't even tell you face-to-face. Very unprofessional. I get that in-home DCs can be a little more laid back, but seriously? I'm getting angry just reading this post.
She is probably held by a state ratio at 5. I would be upset too. I would look at the high school or college kid option because they would be in your home and it wouldn't be as dramatic when you move the second time.
That's a really good point. She's obviously actively looking for replacements for them. I'd move them both out.
ETA: The fact that this is someone you consider a friend makes her actions a 1000x worse. She clearly doesn't value your business or your friendship.
I am too, and I'd pull them both.
This. This is the main thing that I would be worried about. If you work hard to find a new place for your DD in May, but then she announces that she found a replacement starting in June for your son, you'll be scrambling to find yet ANOTHER opening. I'd move them both now not only because I'd be mad but also because it's the best way to safeguard yourself from getting in a tight situation where you don't have reliable care.
Yep. Me too.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
No, we're moving to another state. And DH and I also share the fear of her finding a replacement early for DS. We're meeting with a potential nanny and I've found two centers that have some space, so we will likely pull them both. The whole thing is just bizarre.
Glad you have found a nanny/center that they will be able to go to together!
This. Good point PP. I'd pull them both out now, partly out of spite but partly as a precaution in case she tries to pull that again with your DS. Shady, just shady.
I like this idea although my gut response would be to pull both right away because I'd be pissed.