I'm tired enough to sleep train...

katie4253 · March 2012

I don't know if I'm going to go through with it, but H and I talked about sleep training this morning. Gabe is still waking up at least 3 times a night, and usually more. He does eat once. But, the rest of the times he wakes up he is just restless.

I'm having serious anxiety about doing it though. But really, he's 10 months. I feel like it isn't unreasonable for a 10 month old to only wake up once. I don't mind one wake-up. I don't mind feeding him in the middle of the night. But, I do mind getting woken up as much as I am...

mainemommy · March 2012

If you feel like you're ready for it Im sure he's ready for it too. Theres no way I could go 10 months of waking up multiple times a night.

Good luck, I hope its an easy process for you all!

MamaCoffin · March 2012

mainemommy:

If you feel like you're ready for it Im sure he's ready for it too. Theres no way I could go 10 months of waking up multiple times a night.

Good luck, I hope its an easy process for you all!

I agree. I think you are all ready. And if it's too emotionally distressing you can stop and try later when you are ready again.

Good luck. Sleepless nights suck. It's time for you to get some rest!

ETA: You may end up being pleasantly surprised. It may work out great and give all of you more rest. You won't know until you try.

AmandaP678 · March 2012

You're preaching to the choir! It's been 2.5 years for me. I tried sleep traing out of desperation with Tim with no luck! Good Luck though. It works for most babies!

dairygirl19 · March 2012

Katie..I know you and I pretty much feel the same about sleep training.

I don't blame you one bit and at 10 months I'd go for it.

I have a pretty good nighttime sleeper but she wakes up once hungry. I feed her because I have guilty about not feeding a hungry baby.

However, the other times and at nap, we have instituted the 10 minute rule. At nap after bottle, rock I lay her down. She cries, she fusses or she plays. I leave her for that 10 minutes. If she's all out wailing then I get her and try something else. Otherwise I leave her alone. She's asleep by minute two more times than not.

At night the same thing applies. If I know she's not hungry or needs something 10 minutes she has to work it out on her own. We had a string of night-time wakeups randomly for a bit and it really seemed to help.

I'm just sharing becuase it was the best of both worlds for us. She's learning to work it out and I can handle 10 minutes of crying without too much guilt and stress.

And yes, I know people say it just trains them to stop after 10 minutes because they know they'll be rescued...but I've never had that problem. It really works for us.

BlueBird72011 · March 2012

dairygirl19:
Katie..I know you and I pretty much feel the same about sleep training.

I don't blame you one bit and at 10 months I'd go for it.

I have a pretty good nighttime sleeper but she wakes up once hungry. I feed her because I have guilty about not feeding a hungry baby.

However, the other times and at nap, we have instituted the 10 minute rule. At nap after bottle, rock I lay her down. She cries, she fusses or she plays. I leave her for that 10 minutes. If she's all out wailing then I get her and try something else. Otherwise I leave her alone. She's asleep by minute two more times than not.

At night the same thing applies. If I know she's not hungry or needs something 10 minutes she has to work it out on her own. We had a string of night-time wakeups randomly for a bit and it really seemed to help.

I'm just sharing becuase it was the best of both worlds for us. She's learning to work it out and I can handle 10 minutes of crying without too much guilt and stress.

And yes, I know people say it just trains them to stop after 10 minutes because they know they'll be rescued...but I've never had that problem. It really works for us.

I agree with all of this. We did something similar when I had reached the end of my rope and DD was waking up just to wake up and not out of hunger anymore. It takes some getting used to but once they figure it out it makes such a difference. I think at 10 months it won't take long for him to realize what is going on and learn to sleep! Good luck!

kristinmme · March 2012

We actually tried day 1 of the Sleep Lady on Monday night and after 2 hours of standing next to her crib and trying to soothe her, I caved and picked her up. She was asleep in 1 minute.

I really wanted to see how long she would go on for. She is a stubborn little girl, but I needed to know if 30 minutes was all it was going to take. Apparently not. We are re-evaluating our plan and will start something Friday night - not sure what yet. Give yourself time to try a few things out and see how he responds.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. M wakes up at least 3 times BEFORE I go to bed! I honestly didn't think we would have sleep issues this long. GL.

nbbride06 · March 2012

Sleep Easy Solution - changed our family. I still didn't night wean, but at the time we did it (4.5 months), the sleep training alone took LO's night wakings from 6 to 2. Now I'm about ready to take the 2 down to 1 but need to get up the guts to let her cry in the middle of the night! Good luck!

mainemommy · March 2012

Sleep training works best when the usual go to parent sits it out & the other parent does it.

Despite what most people are willing to admit even this young they do have habits & routines. If they know they cry & mom is going to pick them up in the middle of the night they'll keep doing it. If dad is there to settle them back in & set up their new routine its easier to learn it.

awisern · March 2012

Ferber worked miracles for us when I was at the end of my rope. I had originally been against it but after repeated nights of getting up 6 times each night to rock back to sleep, I gave it a try. It turned out a lot better than I had expected.

ladybug122 · March 2012

I'm in the same boat. I know I need to do something, but I just really don't want to do CIO since DD is so stubborn and is basically the world's strongest crier (she turns beet red and makes herself puke). I'm thinking about getting a book, one of those no-crying types. We'll see how it goes. Good luck!

boogerbearoriginal · March 2012

I haven't read any "sleep" books or whatever, so take this for what it is (aka me making it up as we go lol). But I will listen for a few minutes and let him sort of talk a little. Sometimes he goes back to sleep, other times it gets more persistent which is when I go in because I know that leads to crying. It's easier to get him back to sleep before he gets into a full blown cry.

The PP mentioned 10mins - that's typically what we wait. Maybe let him be for a bit and see if he gets himself to sleep?

Good luck!

weebos8 · March 2012

Good Luck!

I totally understand where you are at right now. We are up 6-7 times a night (and that is when DH and I go to bed) so I know how hard it is. We've tried Ferber to no avail, so please report back. I'd love to know if you have any tips!

aesf · March 2012

awisern:
Ferber worked miracles for us when I was at the end of my rope. I had originally been against it but after repeated nights of getting up 6 times each night to rock back to sleep, I gave it a try. It turned out a lot better than I had expected.

I actually went to see Ferber. I didnt get him though just a resident under him. Im torn on the results. Ive had two nights of 4 hours STRIGHT screaming and this is our third sleep training attempt. Im all set.

but her advice on getting rid of wake ups and night feeds was amazing. Basically you just soothe them by anymeans necessary but do not feed them between a set bed and wake time.

AsOctoberFalls · March 2012

It's funny. I remember you and I being on the same page about sleep training before (i.e., pretty opposed to it). But, we've also decided to start sleep training (Ferber) not this coming weekend but next. Lucius's cough is finally gone, so I don't worry about him not being able to breathe through the crying. That was basically my last excuse. I kept hoping his sleep would improve on its own, but it's not looking good. I asked my facebook friends if their poor sleepers grew out of it, and not a SINGLE one of them had. They'd all needed to sleep train. The ones that haven't sleep trained have 2 and 3 year olds who have major sleep issues.

I also am extremely anxious about this, but really, it's more for his benefit than mine. He sleeps SO poorly at daycare and nighttime is the only time for him to really catch up. He's not getting good rest if he's waking up 4 times and needing me to rock him back to sleep. I want to do it before he starts standing, because I think that will introduce a whole new set of complications. I'm really, really dreading this, though. I'm waiting until a night when DH is home (I put Lucius to bed 5/7 nights because DH works evenings) so that he can help me to stay strong. I know I'm going to want to cave. I actually LOVE rocking L to sleep - but I know it's not good for him any more.

I'm getting upset just thinking about this. LOL.

AsOctoberFalls · March 2012

Oh, and when I said all my friends ended up sleep training, I meant the ones with poor sleepers. Many of my friends have naturally good sleepers and nappers.

I'm hoping his naps improve with the sleep training as well. Daycare won't let him CIO, so we'll see. Right now he's at one or two 20 minute naps in the 10 hours he's at daycare. When he comes home, he basically cries until he goes to bed because he's SO tired. I like working, but I REALLY hate this aspect of being a working parent. Makes me want to get a nanny.

aesf · March 2012

AsOctoberFalls:
Oh, and when I said all my friends ended up sleep training, I meant the ones with poor sleepers. Many of my friends have naturally good sleepers and nappers.
I'm hoping his naps improve with the sleep training as well. Daycare won't let him CIO, so we'll see. Right now he's at one or two 20 minute naps in the 10 hours he's at daycare. When he comes home, he basically cries until he goes to bed because he's SO tired. I like working, but I REALLY hate this aspect of being a working parent. Makes me want to get a nanny.

Im a SAHM/WAHM and this is waht Cadence did for the longest time. What solved it was this:

1. bed share (i was pretty anti it pre baby but he Ferber clinic was adamant

2. set bedtime and set wakeup time 9 hours apart. We do 10-7. You get them to get a good 9 hours and then you can start stretching it out.

3. Wake that baby up in the am. This part sucks.

4. No night time feedings. Soothe, cuddle rock and snuggle as much as necessary but do not feed.

5. (you'll need a week off for this part but i swear to god after like 4 days she had a pattern) Bedshare naps. Naptime here is 10 and 2. We lay down together for 30 minutes at 10 and 2. If after 30 minutes shes not a asleep we get up and play until the next naptime or bedtime. No sleeping in between.

6. no tv on in the house an hour before bed.

7. set bedtime routine. Ours is PJs, nurse, bedtime story.

Then you mo0ve them out of the bed and CIO for the first few nights while they adjust. The CIO part hasnt worked for us but my kid is crazy stubborn and I can't let her cry for 4 hours. It sounds like most people who sleep train dont have kids who cry for 4 or 5 hours at a time.

katie4253 · March 2012

AsOctoberFalls:
Oh, and when I said all my friends ended up sleep training, I meant the ones with poor sleepers. Many of my friends have naturally good sleepers and nappers.
I'm hoping his naps improve with the sleep training as well. Daycare won't let him CIO, so we'll see. Right now he's at one or two 20 minute naps in the 10 hours he's at daycare. When he comes home, he basically cries until he goes to bed because he's SO tired. I like working, but I REALLY hate this aspect of being a working parent. Makes me want to get a nanny.

We can be upset together!

Gabe naps like butt at day care too. He used to sleep well. But, in the last 2-3 weeks he's gotten terrible. 2 30 min naps a day. He took 3 today and it was a miracle. Daycare lets him cry, but only to a point. He falls asleep okay most of the time, but he's been refusing a 3rd nap. He is so tired when he gets home.

The thing is, we don't rock him to sleep at night. He is pretty good. It is just the waking up in the middle of the night that is killing us.

Timshel17 · March 2012

We gave in and did Ferber a month ago. I had always been against it, but it was to the point where we decided it was the best thing to do. DD had been sleeping pretty well, and then started waking multiple times each night and was taking forever to get back to sleep. She was exhausted and crabby and so were we. The first nights were hard, but I think it was better in less than a week. After she finally got a good night's sleep she was so much happier and I knew we did the right thing. Now we're working on naps.

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