Should I bother having a 1st birthday party in this situation?

proudmomma78 · March 2012

My husband and I originally weren't going to have a party for our baby. But then we thought about throwing something really small. We found a local pizzeria/restaurant where we can use their party room and we were going to just order for everyone. The whole thing will maybe cost $200. We both have small families, mine way smaller then his since he has aunts and uncles whereas I don't except for great ones who I don't really keep in contact with. I feel odd inviting extended family I don't keep in touch with to this, so figured I would just invite my immediate family, 2 people and 2 other cousins who I don't even know will come and possibly a family friend. My husband and I don't have many friends to invite. I have one who has a baby who would come and the other I'm not sure if she will. DH was going to invite some co-workers, I would assume people without kids may turn down the invite. So basically, this would be an all adult party with the exception of 3 kids on his side who our baby has never even met yet and my friend who has a baby. I figure maybe 20-25 people.

I don't care for my In-law's and majority of their side I can do without. My side and his side don't really mingle much, so is it going to be boring to be sitting there staring at one another for 2 hours. My husband's side is also extremely petty and go tit for tat with everything. For my shower, MIL attended and tried to ruin it for me. FIL and I had words where he made the comment "His family was representing, where was mine" lmao..bc his side had 5 more people than my side and the only reason was bc most of my extended family live 2 hours away and my mother was nice enough to let his side invite extra people. I mean, who the hell is so petty and keeps count like that? So, I can only imagine the snoots on his side will probably make note of who comes from each side.

We didn't put a deposit down, so we can call up and cancel but I would like to do it soon to give them ample notice.So should we just take her to the zoo like planned, take pictures and then have the immediate family come out with us for for a b-day dinner a few days later?

I just attended a 1st bday party recently where we had a good time, it was pretty much only my friend's family, except for us, but it was way too long, we all just sat there and talked and her baby cried and screamed a lot. So, obviously most babies don't even have a good time at these events.

MrsStubbs · March 2012

1st bday parties are just for the parents if you ask me. I personally think most of them are over rated. I only invited Grandparents and our brothers and sisters+kids.

I really like the idea of the Zoo and family dinner. You will have so many more happy memories if you do it that way rather than stressing about your inlaws.

august06mom · March 2012

If it's stressful, then I wouldn't have it. We're having a very small family party at our house for DS2's birthday -- we did the same for DS1's, and it was fine.

lona.hunn@gmail.com · March 2012

I'd do the zoo thing. Seems more intimate and special than throwing a party just because..

peekaboo716 · March 2012

MrsStubbs:

1st bday parties are just for the parents if you ask me. I personally think most of them are over rated. I only invited Grandparents and our brothers and sisters+kids.

I really like the idea of the Zoo and family dinner. You will have so many more happy memories if you do it that way rather than stressing about your inlaws.

This.

Zenya · March 2012

definitely the zoo.

jlw2505 · March 2012

1st b-day parties have nothing to do with the child who will have co clue who is there and who isn't and that it is any day different than the next. Honestly, it sounds like you are trying to come up with people to invite to impress I have no clue who. Take your DD to the zoo or wherever, invite the grandparents and other close relatives to meet you for dinner someplace or at your house, give a smash cake - takes lots of pictures and have a great day.

LenMont · March 2012

I did big family parties for 1 and 2 and it was 100% for me

That's fine because DS is the only grandchild and all the adults loved it and get along well. If I had the potential for stress that you've got going---no way!!! This year (3) was the first year we invited some of his little buddies and he totally got into it and loved every second of it. Downside is that he doesn't understand that birthdays are only once a year and can't understand why we aren't having daily parties!!! Wait until DD is a little older.

Littlejen22 · March 2012

MrsStubbs:
1st bday parties are just for the parents if you ask me. I personally think most of them are over rated. I only invited Grandparents and our brothers and sisters+kids.
I really like the idea of the Zoo and family dinner. You will have so many more happy memories if you do it that way rather than stressing about your inlaws.

This. Do it if YOU want and not if you don't. You can have a great day out with your da and put money in his savings.

MeliScribe · March 2012

we did the zoo the day of his bday and then had a little party over the wknd. I was kinda in the same position as you with the whole family thing so I know it takes away from enjoying it.

i feel the 1st bday is about celebrating your childls 1st year as well as getting through that 1st year as parents. Probably best that you donlt stress yourself out throwing a party that your heart isn't in and is done out of obligation. Do whatever would make the 3 of you happy.

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