Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
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Re: How was your weekend?
Saturday - We took the kids to swimming class, did a few errands, went to lunch, and then hung out at home the rest of the day having a lazy day. After the kids went to bed, we watched "Game Change" on HBO which was really good.
Sunday - We met friends for breakfast and because of the time change, the kids slept in meaning we were running late and had to haul a$$. After breakfast we dropped L off at home to work while I took the kids to Target and to the playground. Came home and finished up consignment stuff, did copious amounts of laundry, and my plan to put the kids to bed early was waylaid by day light savings.
I hate getting up when it is dark out.
I'm usually a lurker but decided to come out of the shadows because this weekend I actually had something relevant come up
Most of our weekend was pretty average - I had a rehearsal for The Coming Out Monologues on Friday evening and then my wife and I went out to dinner. Saturday evening we went to see the movie John Carter with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend and yesterday I had a brunch meeting for a volunteer board of directors I sit on.
But my exciting news from this weekend - we got our referral to the fertility clinic, so in 3 - 5 months we will have our first appointment with them and hopefully (finally!) get started on this whole process. I was smiling from ear-to-ear when they called to let me know they had received it!
That's my tiny news from this weekend. Hope everyone has a good week!
- V
We had a nice, mellow weekend.
Saturday we met up with friends for the St Patty's day parade. It was freezing, we had to wait a while, and the parade was kind of boring...but I totally underestimated my kids! They were awesome! Content to just sit and wait (with plentiful snacks) and they didnt complain once about the cold. After the parade we headed back to the parking lot and had a tailgate lunch. It was nice to spend some quality time with our friends. After the parade we went home and I got the kids situated doing an arts and crafts project then I headed into the office (until midnight. ugh!!).
Sunday we slept in then went over to Bubby's (A's grandmother) house to make applesauce for Passover. We had a really wonderful time - i love my in laws and my kids adore them too. Bubby has had some health issues so it was wonderful to see her tickle and laugh with the baby. And Daisy is such a little love, she kept running over to Bubby and giving her huge hugs - I'm pretty sure baby hugs are the best medicine there is
As we were leaving RB said very seriously, "I love you Bubby. Go nigh nigh and feel better. I call you tomorrow to make sure." tears. seriously. I just cant believe I was chosen to be their mother.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I made nachos and did movie night with the girls on Friday.
We attempted the zoo on Saturday but the parking lot was so full that traffic was backed up onto the freeway. We went to the Arboretum and did the tram tour because J's mom couldn't walk everywhere and refused a wheelchair.
I hung out at home with the kids yesterday while J worked a 13 hour day. I found out that our friends have been matched with a little boy through our agency, I am so happy for them.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
Fri: Ann picked me up after work and we picked up drive thru dinner. Home to eat and bed.
Sat: I got up early with the purpose of getting out the door asap to run errands. I was parking the car at the first stop when I realized DW still had the bank card...gggrrrrr. I had to drive to her work (30 minutes) to get the card. I ended up shopping up there to give Ky some time out of the car. Finally got home and Ky spent almost an hour putting stickers on a piece of paper....best 97 cents I have even spent! I cleaned and baked and Ky played and "helped". After Ky got up and had snack my mom showed up to take her for the night. I found out as I was doing my hair that our friends cancelled plans. For some reason the excuse they gave us seems bogus
BUT our other friends wanted to go out to dinner so it worked out! Yummy food and home to play some pool.
Sun: kind of slept in. Laid in bed and read until DW woke up. Had breakfast and I went to get the baby while DW got ready for the day. Picked her up and then picked up our friend T to go thrifting! I got Ky the cutest capris (they even have an adjustable waist so they fit!) and two swimsuits for under $5. I also found a pair of capris! Met our other friend A for sushi and then we all headed back to our house where T's boyfriend met us. We played pool and all ate dinner together.
It was good. My leave was scheduled to start 3/20, but I just transferred to my new job 3/10 & my manager felt it would be difficult to do alot of training in 10 days--and said we'll start the training when I come back. This pretty much left me with an extra 10 days of LOA. So I return 5/16 & Mel 5/25.
We're just trying to savor this time with our beautiful children, because I realize this time will go by FAST! We feel very blessed with everything. So this weekend was all about relaxing--without ANY visitors, no appts, & lots of cuddles. : )
I kept wondering why it was so dark out on ym drive this morning. I mean it was raining but even then it is usually light. Then I was like DUH DST!
Saturday was busy, but (save for the last bit) good. I had a hair appt (last time getting the pixie cut... I'm "officially" growing it out now). We visited with my parents and Gram while we were up there. Gwen napped on the way up and on the way back, which should have been a sign I guess, but Gwen ended up getting a bit of a fever that night.
Sunday still a little fevery off and on. We just hung out for the most part, took it easy. Did go outside for a little walk at one point since we needed to get out of the house and it was super mild and nice. Gwen took a crap nap because coughing kept waking her up, but did go to bed early and easily. Woke a few times, but slept really well the second half of the night.
This morning... seems to be feeling better. Definitely did the whole stay home from daycare vs. send her in with tylenol and prayers debate, but she seemed to be feeling better and it was impossible for me to stay home, really hard for Trav. Ugh.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
I'm not sure I remember... [:/]
Fri: We went over to the house with a contractor in the p.m., and we got some free boxes from Craigslist so we could start packing. Ended up having a super late lunch, so leftovers did the trick for dinner.
Sat: I finally got started on our taxes! We had all kinds of plans to do all kinds of things, but the only thing that materialized was that K took J to Lowes to get some stuff for the house while I worked on our taxes. Dinner: pizza! It's our Saturday tradition.
Sun: J stirred at about 8:30 (!!!!) and went back to sleep (!!!!!!!!!!). I checked on him a couple of times, and he was just asleep in his crib. Finally, though, at 11:15 (12:15 DST, we finally realized), I decided it was too much. I went into his room to find him awake but just lying in his crib. I took him out to change his diaper, and he wouldn't even move on the changing table. We gave him some juice, and it all came back. Called his doctor, who said to take him to the ER based on how he was acting, so off we went. It was so horribly scary to see him like that... Turns out he has the stomach bug that's been going around, and he feels MUCH better today - and is acting like himself, which is a HUGE relief. Problem is, now I have it. Gaaaah. I hate this.
Friday:- came home, paid some bills and bought some sperm
Saturday:- My partner (V)decided that she wanted to do a road trip to where she grew up, so we packed a picnic, packed the dogs, jumped in the car and drove. It was beautiful weather for it! I think it soothed something in her soul to go back to where she lived when she was a wee one. Did lots of laundry (baby laundry plus ours will suck)
Sunday:- Woke up early and rushed to the supermarket. Had V's brother and his wife over for a delicious brunch. They stayed until around 5, then we jumped on the couches and watched some 'Lost' on Netflix and I started writing in our baby journal - we want to give it to our baby when he/she is 18. A nice weekend
Friday- We went to the spring musical at DWs school. It is like Glee on crack. There was one girl though that made me have goosebumps. For 15 that kid could sing her butt off.
Saturday-Errand day and dinner out for a friends bday. We then went to a gay club. I am feeling slightly too old to be clubbing.
Sunday-Lazy day at home. Made dinner, did HW, and took my new wheels out for a quick drive.
Friday night we were exhausted and did pretty much what we do every weeknight.
Saturday we made breakfast fajitas and DW made two different kinds of muffins to freeze for the week. Saturday evening we went to a friend's symphony concert and then out to a delicious Soul Food/BBQ place with friends. I'm not the hugest fan of classical music concerts, but it's nice to feel cultured every now and then (and of course support a friend!)
Sunday we hung out at home and did our cleaning/errands/etc. And then Monday came way too soon.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Friday: I was supposed to go to dinner with a dear friend who recently split with her gf. My friend called not long before I was leaving work and asked if she could bail. She's known for a while now that her job is being transferred to another company, well she got the offer package on Friday, so she wanted time to mull it over. So...I went home and did my taxes. Fun Friday night! But, I'm getting some $$$ back, so that is a good thing!
Saturday: I woke up early and my lack of sleep led to a migraine.
But I had things to do, so I rallied and made the best of the day. I loaded up the car with things for my bff to sell at a consignment sale she's doing later this month. My bff and I got to catch up on all the latest goings on and it was so good to see her. After that I went to a bday party for a friend. We played whirlyball which was a total blast and I can't wait to go again. Afterwards we met for pizza and drinks.
Sunday: Thankfully I got a bit more sleep. Spent the day running errands and doing chores and laundry. Got a call from E's dad about some attitude issues they are having...yes, welcome to my reality. We have apparently reached the age of entitlement and it's not fun. But thankfully he and I are on the same page, so hopefully that will help.
Friday- Had friends over for dinner so I did a mad clean up of the public areas when I got home from school. We got take out chinese so that was yummy and easy. Confirmed that my child is strange and loves hot and sour soup. Crazy huh.
Sat Play date at story hour at the library with a friend and then lunch at whole foods. We were going to go to a playground but her friend got in trouble so had to go home (boo). Sat night more friends for dinner Pizza yum.
Sunday Did some work at school and then my parents came to see Ella for a bit. It was a lazy day since Ella did not do well with the time change and was a mess in the afternoon. We ended up watching a movie since she couldn't get it together.
We flew back from Florida on Sunday. As if the end of vacation wasn't bad enough, we had a 7 am flight over an hour from where we were staying, and between getting ready to go, driving, getting gas, returning the rental car and airport wait time, that meant getting up at 3:15 am. Except with the time change, it felt like 2:15. Painful. Highlight: a delicious baby sat in front of us on the plane did not so much as fuss the whole way. I don't know what they gave that kid but he was so good. I spent most of the flight peering between the seats at his dimply little hands and thinking about snuggling him. Other highlight: our dear friends/car-sitters/cat-feeders/CSA picker-uppers showed up at the airport with pastries from my favorite bakery. We went grocery shopping and then went to sleep for a few hours. Laundry. Take-out. Early to bed. Goodbye vacation.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
I am late to the game as usual but I'll play anyways!
Late Friday afternoon I found out I was accepted to the MSW program at Boston University. I was really excited and was able to get off of work a few hours early to spend time celebrating with my wife. Both of us really want to move back to the East Coast, specifically Boston, so I am 99% sure I am going to accept their offer.
On Saturday we checked out some apartments on Craigslist, went to brunch, had a long walk on the beach with our puppy daughter and just generally were lazy.
Sunday was just a lot of errands, some logistical planning re: the move this summer and timelines for me to leave work, for S to leave her program and what all of that is going to look like. We have some not-fun stuff to contend with in terms of her summer teaching schedule and her department not being very helpful in scheduling her at the times we need, so it looks like I may need to move first with her to follow in about 2 months. I know in the long run it's not that big of a deal, but it's a HUGE bummer for us financially (two sets of living expenses, ugh) and logistically and it totally could have been avoided if anyone cared to think about it for a few seconds.
I am so excited! I am finally going to be in graduate school. I feel like I have been waiting forever for this, and to move back home.We had our multiples class on Saturday morning. It was good, but just scratched the surface - she said it used to be two weekends long and now it's 3 hours! Jen felt like she overdid it on Friday so afterward we grabbed some quick Chinese and came home instead of going shopping in Portland. She napped all afternoon and I made lists and didn't do much else. We had lazy freezer meals for dinner.
Sunday was more house stuff, and my dad came over and did a few things for us and then we went out for an early dinner with them. It felt very suburban and foreign
Thanks! BC is a great school. I am macro practice and they don't really have a strong focus in that area but their clinical program is supposed to be amazing! I'm sure I'll have tons of questions about Boston going forward, so I'll be sure to give you a shout-out if anything comes up.