Honestly, this would be upsetting to me too. I grew up very poor, and the idea of having too much of one thing while not enough of another makes me feel bad, and makes me feel like the givers were wasting their money. It's not polite to feel this way, but it's how I would have felt.
Do I always get a gift receipt (or save the receipt)? Yes. But not everyone is the same.
These expenses are overwhelming for all of us, and it's understandable to be upset when what seems helpful (like a shower) is disappointing.
If the expense is overwhelming, then a little tip is that your probably not in a place financially to be having children. Just a thought. It will only get more expensive from here. If a few hooded towels are breaking the bank then I feel sorry for your baby.
Look, just trying to feel a little sympathy for someone. Calm down. I was talking about feeling guilty when other people waste extra money buying duplicate items, not a few towels breaking the bank, just because I grew up poor and don't like seeing it wasted. I am in a much better financial position than others are (we both have jobs and advanced degrees), but having a child is still a major expense that can feel stressful at times.
I'm glad my child will have parents who try to see someone else's perspective, even if it's one they disagree with, and don't make nasty comments about strangers on the internet.
Honestly, this would be upsetting to me too. I grew up very poor, and the idea of having too much of one thing while not enough of another makes me feel bad, and makes me feel like the givers were wasting their money. It's not polite to feel this way, but it's how I would have felt.
Do I always get a gift receipt (or save the receipt)? Yes. But not everyone is the same.
These expenses are overwhelming for all of us, and it's understandable to be upset when what seems helpful (like a shower) is disappointing.
If the expense is overwhelming, then a little tip is that your probably not in a place financially to be having children. Just a thought. It will only get more expensive from here. If a few hooded towels are breaking the bank then I feel sorry for your baby.
Look, just trying to feel a little sympathy for someone. Calm down. I was talking about feeling guilty when other people waste extra money buying duplicate items, not a few towels breaking the bank, just because I grew up poor and don't like seeing it wasted. I am in a much better financial position than others are (we both have jobs and advanced degrees), but having a child is still a major expense that can feel stressful at times.
I'm glad my child will have parents who try to see someone else's perspective, even if it's one they disagree with, and don't make nasty comments about strangers on the internet.
How about this perspective, the people buying the gift didn't think they were wasting their money.
Honestly, this would be upsetting to me too. I grew up very poor, and the idea of having too much of one thing while not enough of another makes me feel bad, and makes me feel like the givers were wasting their money. It's not polite to feel this way, but it's how I would have felt.
Do I always get a gift receipt (or save the receipt)? Yes. But not everyone is the same.
These expenses are overwhelming for all of us, and it's understandable to be upset when what seems helpful (like a shower) is disappointing.
If the expense is overwhelming, then a little tip is that your probably not in a place financially to be having children. Just a thought. It will only get more expensive from here. If a few hooded towels are breaking the bank then I feel sorry for your baby.
Look, just trying to feel a little sympathy for someone. Calm down. I was talking about feeling guilty when other people waste extra money buying duplicate items, not a few towels breaking the bank, just because I grew up poor and don't like seeing it wasted. I am in a much better financial position than others are (we both have jobs and advanced degrees), but having a child is still a major expense that can feel stressful at times.
I'm glad my child will have parents who try to see someone else's perspective, even if it's one they disagree with, and don't make nasty comments about strangers on the internet.
Awww, my poor kid must be SOL. At least she'll have manners and a low tolerance for stupidity.
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Honestly, this would be upsetting to me too. I grew up very poor, and the idea of having too much of one thing while not enough of another makes me feel bad, and makes me feel like the givers were wasting their money. It's not polite to feel this way, but it's how I would have felt.
Do I always get a gift receipt (or save the receipt)? Yes. But not everyone is the same.
These expenses are overwhelming for all of us, and it's understandable to be upset when what seems helpful (like a shower) is disappointing.
If the expense is overwhelming, then a little tip is that your probably not in a place financially to be having children. Just a thought. It will only get more expensive from here. If a few hooded towels are breaking the bank then I feel sorry for your baby.
Look, just trying to feel a little sympathy for someone. Calm down. I was talking about feeling guilty when other people waste extra money buying duplicate items, not a few towels breaking the bank, just because I grew up poor and don't like seeing it wasted. I am in a much better financial position than others are (we both have jobs and advanced degrees), but having a child is still a major expense that can feel stressful at times.
I'm glad my child will have parents who try to see someone else's perspective, even if it's one they disagree with, and don't make nasty comments about strangers on the internet.
Awww, my poor kid must be SOL. At least she'll have manners and a low tolerance for stupidity.
I wasn't even replying to you. Do you honestly think the person who made those comments to me was showing proper manners by making rude and inaccurate assumptions about my financial situation and saying she felt sorry for my baby?
This is a board where people should feel respected even if they disagree with one another. Did I anywhere say it was okay for the OP to be rude about her gifts? No. Was I trying to understand her perspective? Yes. Is that stupid? No. It's humane.
Honestly, this would be upsetting to me too. I grew up very poor, and the idea of having too much of one thing while not enough of another makes me feel bad, and makes me feel like the givers were wasting their money. It's not polite to feel this way, but it's how I would have felt.
Do I always get a gift receipt (or save the receipt)? Yes. But not everyone is the same.
These expenses are overwhelming for all of us, and it's understandable to be upset when what seems helpful (like a shower) is disappointing.
If the expense is overwhelming, then a little tip is that your probably not in a place financially to be having children. Just a thought. It will only get more expensive from here. If a few hooded towels are breaking the bank then I feel sorry for your baby.
Look, just trying to feel a little sympathy for someone. Calm down. I was talking about feeling guilty when other people waste extra money buying duplicate items, not a few towels breaking the bank, just because I grew up poor and don't like seeing it wasted. I am in a much better financial position than others are (we both have jobs and advanced degrees), but having a child is still a major expense that can feel stressful at times.
I'm glad my child will have parents who try to see someone else's perspective, even if it's one they disagree with, and don't make nasty comments about strangers on the internet.
How about this perspective, the people buying the gift didn't think they were wasting their money.
Thanks, this is a lot more balanced (sorry I didn't see your post at first glance and saw the rude one right away, of course). That's probably how I'd try to view it if it were my experience. I'm not having a shower myself, which at least prevents me from having to feel like people are wasting money if I get a gift I won't use and then don't feel comfortable returning it.
Honestly, this would be upsetting to me too. I grew up very poor, and the idea of having too much of one thing while not enough of another makes me feel bad, and makes me feel like the givers were wasting their money. It's not polite to feel this way, but it's how I would have felt.
Do I always get a gift receipt (or save the receipt)? Yes. But not everyone is the same.
These expenses are overwhelming for all of us, and it's understandable to be upset when what seems helpful (like a shower) is disappointing.
If the expense is overwhelming, then a little tip is that your probably not in a place financially to be having children. Just a thought. It will only get more expensive from here. If a few hooded towels are breaking the bank then I feel sorry for your baby.
Look, just trying to feel a little sympathy for someone. Calm down. I was talking about feeling guilty when other people waste extra money buying duplicate items, not a few towels breaking the bank, just because I grew up poor and don't like seeing it wasted. I am in a much better financial position than others are (we both have jobs and advanced degrees), but having a child is still a major expense that can feel stressful at times.
I'm glad my child will have parents who try to see someone else's perspective, even if it's one they disagree with, and don't make nasty comments about strangers on the internet.
Awww, my poor kid must be SOL. At least she'll have manners and a low tolerance for stupidity.
I wasn't even replying to you. Do you honestly think the person who made those comments to me was showing proper manners by making rude and inaccurate assumptions about my financial situation and saying she felt sorry for my baby?
This is a board where people should feel respected even if they disagree with one another. Did I anywhere say it was okay for the OP to be rude about her gifts? No. Was I trying to understand her perspective? Yes. Is that stupid? No. It's humane.
I said "If" the expense is overwhelming, and no trying to understand her perspective doesn't make you humane. I would say it makes you silly. Please stop trying to justify the OP's rude and tactless behavior. Bottom line is complaining about not getting receipts for "gifts" that people buy you with their hard earned money is classless. Point blank.
I completely feel your pain! I mentioned to my mother that I was a little annoyed that people chose to ingnore the registries we spent 3 hours of our lives creating to buy us cute clothes that we didn't need and she acted like I was a selfish jerk. Telling me that gifts aren't the point. But isn't that really the purpose of having a baby shower? Didn't my poor sister spend money to buy a cake and rent a nice space so that people could help me get ready for baby? And by getting ready for baby, don't i need the stroller and carseat my husband and I painstakingly picked out and not another cute dress? P.S. We tried to return some stuff to Target and they took some of it without a receipt but the other stuff they didn't because they said they no longer carried it so it had no price. Kohl's also carries Carters items. They will all give you store credit.
I completely feel your pain! I mentioned to my mother that I was a little annoyed that people chose to ingnore the registries we spent 3 hours of our lives creating to buy us cute clothes that we didn't need and she acted like I was a selfish jerk. Telling me that gifts aren't the point. But isn't that really the purpose of having a baby shower? Didn't my poor sister spend money to buy a cake and rent a nice space so that people could help me get ready for baby? And by getting ready for baby, don't i need the stroller and carseat my husband and I painstakingly picked out and not another cute dress? P.S. We tried to return some stuff to Target and they took some of it without a receipt but the other stuff they didn't because they said they no longer carried it so it had no price. Kohl's also carries Carters items. They will all give you store credit.
I completely feel your pain! I mentioned to my mother that I was a little annoyed that people chose to ingnore the registries we spent 3 hours of our lives creating to buy us cute clothes that we didn't need and she acted like I was a selfish jerk. Telling me that gifts aren't the point. But isn't that really the purpose of having a baby shower? Didn't my poor sister spend money to buy a cake and rent a nice space so that people could help me get ready for baby? And by getting ready for baby, don't i need the stroller and carseat my husband and I painstakingly picked out and not another cute dress? P.S. We tried to return some stuff to Target and they took some of it without a receipt but the other stuff they didn't because they said they no longer carried it so it had no price. Kohl's also carries Carters items. They will all give you store credit.
A registry is a helpful suggestion to gift givers. Some people will use it, some people won't. Plus, there's a huge cost discrepancy between clothes and the cost of a stroller or a carseat. People were kind enough to buy you anything. Say thank you, stop complaining, and enjoy the completion discount when you buy the things you need for your baby. (Which, when it comes down to it, are your responsibility anyhow).
Sorry if I'm being a brat! I really do appreciate the gifts but a lot of the items I purposely did not register for b/c don't feel like we need them. For example, we received a bottle warmer, wipe warmer, diaper genie-- all things I purposely did not include in registry! And now we have them with no receipt. Or how I did register for a changing pad, but received 2 of which are not the brand I registered for. Why do people do this??
They do it because a registry is only a suggestion of what you would like them to get you. It's their money so they can spend it on whatever they want. Instead of complaining, be grateful people cared enough to give you anything and then go purchase the stuff you really want....it's your responsibility anyway.
This. Just be grateful for what you got. At least people cared enough to buy you something.
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WOW do you guys feel better now that you bitched me out? I'm so glad I could be your punching bag. Look at yourself and how you're acting!!! Talk about ganging up and being bullies.
We're not trying to be bullies, but you should keep in mind your audience. I'm sure there are people on this board who did not get anything when they had a baby. And others who won't get to celebrate their pregnancy/baby with their family, so when you complain about vain, superficial things like "getting too many hooded towels" or receiving presents that weren't on your registry, then those people will be justifiably offended.
How hard is it to include a gift receipt? About as hard as it is to donate the extra items to goodwill.
I'm sure there are plenty of families without hooded towels who would appreciate them.
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Target and Carters will take returns without receipts, but they will give you the latest price. Then you can have the amount put on gift card and buy what you want.
How hard is it to include a gift receipt? About as hard as it is to donate the extra items to goodwill.
I can see where the OP is coming from with gift receipts, from the gift-giver's point of view. If you receive gifts that are unwanted, whether that's because duplicates were received or it's just not something you like, of course it's an option to donate them to someone who wants them. But if I'm spending my money on someone I know and love, I would include a gift receipt. Donating gifts is all well and good and it's something I would do if returning it isn't an option, but if I'm the gift-giver, I want to know that my money has gone to the person I love, not someone I don't know. If the recipient doesn't want my gift for some reason, I would rather they exchange it and the money I spent still goes to them. Make sense?
And yes, it's not all about money; and yes, I've spent time and effort choosing that gift. But I would much rather the recipient has something else that they can use than my gift is essentially 'wasted'.
And yes, it's not all about money; and yes, I've spent time and effort choosing that gift. But I would much rather the recipient has something else that they can use than my gift is essentially 'wasted'.
Oh yeah, donations are totally wasteful.
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Oh for goodness' sake. Of course donations are not wasteful. Did I not say that donating is good and it's something that I would do? But think about it. You've put thought, effort and money into giving someone a gift. Then they just give it away to someone you don't know. You didn't intend to spend that money on a stranger. Now not only does your loved one not have a gift from you any more, but the money you spent on them has gone to someone else. That's all I meant by it's been 'wasted': not even the money you spent has done what you wanted it to do.
What is with this baby shower board? People get so nasty and snarky. And no, PP, I assure you I don't mean that as a direct reference to you. I'm talking in general. I see the same bumpies being lovely and kind and sweet on the trimester boards and then being really mean here. What gives?
Oh for goodness' sake. Of course donations are not wasteful. Did I not say that donating is good and it's something that I would do? But think about it. You've put thought, effort and money into giving someone a gift. Then they just give it away to someone you don't know. You didn't intend to spend that money on a stranger. Now not only does your loved one not have a gift from you any more, but the money you spent on them has gone to someone else. That's all I meant by it's been 'wasted': not even the money you spent has done what you wanted it to do.
What is with this baby shower board? People get so nasty and snarky. And no, PP, I assure you I don't mean that as a direct reference to you. I'm talking in general. I see the same bumpies being lovely and kind and sweet on the trimester boards and then being really mean here. What gives?
Maybe you're just different than me. If I bought someone a gift and found out they didn't like it or didn't want it and I heard they donated it to someone who needed it, I'd not immediately get butthurt. I'd think "Well, someone who needed it got use out of it".
I'd be way more upset if the person I picked out a gift for said (basically) "Um, this isn't good enough for me, so I'm going to complain that you didn't give me a gift receipt that I could take it back and get something better".
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
What is with this baby shower board? People get so nasty and snarky. And no, PP, I assure you I don't mean that as a direct reference to you. I'm talking in general. I see the same bumpies being lovely and kind and sweet on the trimester boards and then being really mean here. What gives?
Have you compared the posts they're responding to? People tend to be a lot nicer when answering concerns of expectant mothers, congratulating people on their progress, etc. A lot of the so-called "rude" responses on here are to people who are being rude themselves - especially those who say they don't want to be tacky and then try to find an excuse to do something tacky because it's more convenient.
Re: No gift receipt vent!
Look, just trying to feel a little sympathy for someone. Calm down. I was talking about feeling guilty when other people waste extra money buying duplicate items, not a few towels breaking the bank, just because I grew up poor and don't like seeing it wasted. I am in a much better financial position than others are (we both have jobs and advanced degrees), but having a child is still a major expense that can feel stressful at times.
I'm glad my child will have parents who try to see someone else's perspective, even if it's one they disagree with, and don't make nasty comments about strangers on the internet.
How about this perspective, the people buying the gift didn't think they were wasting their money.
Awww, my poor kid must be SOL. At least she'll have manners and a low tolerance for stupidity.
I wasn't even replying to you. Do you honestly think the person who made those comments to me was showing proper manners by making rude and inaccurate assumptions about my financial situation and saying she felt sorry for my baby?
This is a board where people should feel respected even if they disagree with one another. Did I anywhere say it was okay for the OP to be rude about her gifts? No. Was I trying to understand her perspective? Yes. Is that stupid? No. It's humane.
Thanks, this is a lot more balanced (sorry I didn't see your post at first glance and saw the rude one right away, of course). That's probably how I'd try to view it if it were my experience. I'm not having a shower myself, which at least prevents me from having to feel like people are wasting money if I get a gift I won't use and then don't feel comfortable returning it.
I said "If" the expense is overwhelming, and no trying to understand her perspective doesn't make you humane. I would say it makes you silly. Please stop trying to justify the OP's rude and tactless behavior. Bottom line is complaining about not getting receipts for "gifts" that people buy you with their hard earned money is classless. Point blank.
You're mother's right...
A registry is a helpful suggestion to gift givers. Some people will use it, some people won't. Plus, there's a huge cost discrepancy between clothes and the cost of a stroller or a carseat. People were kind enough to buy you anything. Say thank you, stop complaining, and enjoy the completion discount when you buy the things you need for your baby. (Which, when it comes down to it, are your responsibility anyhow).
This. Just be grateful for what you got. At least people cared enough to buy you something.
I'm sure there are plenty of families without hooded towels who would appreciate them.
I can see where the OP is coming from with gift receipts, from the gift-giver's point of view. If you receive gifts that are unwanted, whether that's because duplicates were received or it's just not something you like, of course it's an option to donate them to someone who wants them. But if I'm spending my money on someone I know and love, I would include a gift receipt. Donating gifts is all well and good and it's something I would do if returning it isn't an option, but if I'm the gift-giver, I want to know that my money has gone to the person I love, not someone I don't know. If the recipient doesn't want my gift for some reason, I would rather they exchange it and the money I spent still goes to them. Make sense?
And yes, it's not all about money; and yes, I've spent time and effort choosing that gift. But I would much rather the recipient has something else that they can use than my gift is essentially 'wasted'.
Oh yeah, donations are totally wasteful.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Oh for goodness' sake. Of course donations are not wasteful. Did I not say that donating is good and it's something that I would do? But think about it. You've put thought, effort and money into giving someone a gift. Then they just give it away to someone you don't know. You didn't intend to spend that money on a stranger. Now not only does your loved one not have a gift from you any more, but the money you spent on them has gone to someone else. That's all I meant by it's been 'wasted': not even the money you spent has done what you wanted it to do.
What is with this baby shower board? People get so nasty and snarky. And no, PP, I assure you I don't mean that as a direct reference to you. I'm talking in general. I see the same bumpies being lovely and kind and sweet on the trimester boards and then being really mean here. What gives?
Maybe you're just different than me. If I bought someone a gift and found out they didn't like it or didn't want it and I heard they donated it to someone who needed it, I'd not immediately get butthurt. I'd think "Well, someone who needed it got use out of it".
I'd be way more upset if the person I picked out a gift for said (basically) "Um, this isn't good enough for me, so I'm going to complain that you didn't give me a gift receipt that I could take it back and get something better".
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Have you compared the posts they're responding to? People tend to be a lot nicer when answering concerns of expectant mothers, congratulating people on their progress, etc. A lot of the so-called "rude" responses on here are to people who are being rude themselves - especially those who say they don't want to be tacky and then try to find an excuse to do something tacky because it's more convenient.