Working Moms

Would you move to shorten commute?

DH and I both commute 1 hour each way right now. It makes for some long days and stressful evenings. We've always wanted to own some acreage and be near our families, but that would require staying near where we live now, and there are no jobs for us nearby. We want our next move to be the place where our kids go to school and we'll stay there for the long term.

Moving closer to the city would mean giving up on the dream of owning property, because there is simply none to be had any closer. We'd still live in a nice neighborhood with a decent sized yard and our commutes could be more like 10-30 minutes and we could be much closer to our kids' schools, activities etc. but farther from family and the small town, country feel that we like.

So would you chose to live in the country and close to family like we've always wanted and tough out the commute? Or trade that because our life is going to be simpler on a daily basis by living closer to our jobs?

I know everyone has a different opinion on lifestyle, but maybe someone has some insight that will steer me in one direction or the other!

Re: Would you move to shorten commute?

  • I don't know what you would do with "acreage" if you're both dealing with an hour long commute each way every day.  It's not like you'd have to time to grow your own vegetables.  So on that front I think you need to let go of idealism and do what will make your actual life easier.  Think of all the fun you could have in a 1/4 acre backyard with an extra hour and twenty minutes each day!

    On the other hand, if moving away from family means you lose your support network, then that might eat up all your time savings.  Does "family" just mean people to barbeque with on the weekends, or is that relatives who can do things like stop by and stick your dinner in the crockpot or pick your kids up from DC when you're running late or come over and hold down the fort for 20 minutes while you make dinner? 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • I would have the shorter commute to spend more time with the kids.  When we were looking for houses we didn't know what we wanted.  We looking in the city, but decided the townhouse wasn't big enough and the other house was too expensive and too close to a bad neighborhood.  We looked in the country and the farms there were actually quite expensive and the acreage and houses weren't all that great.  There were a lot of properties where the lot was very narrow because they had sold off the farm and had the house separate, so you might be 10 acres deep but still close to the neighbors which defeated the purpose.

    We settled on a house in a suburb that has a small town feel with not a lot of big box stores and a great downtown.   If you are buying I would suggest looking at all 3 types and all the houses too.  It takes a long time and is stressful, but then you know you made the best decision. 

    Otherwise if you are not sure, I would try to rent an apartment or house rather than buying one closer to the city that you don't love and then having to sell it later when you move to the country (or vice versa). 

    ETA: My commute from the city was 45 minutes, in the country was 20 minutes, in one suburb was an hour and where we ended up was 1/2 hour.   Also are there any trains you could take?  Being able to drive or walk to a train station might be a factor. 

  • We are in the suburbs and I can't imagine living anywhere else with kids.  As much as a shorter commute would be temping (I lived 7 minutes from work when I was in college), we still have weekends to play in our yard, go for walks etc. which wouldn't happen if we lived in the city (NYC for us).  Would either of your jobs be flexible with hours?  At one point DH and I were a few hours "off shift" so he would handle the morning, and go in a little later, and I would get to work super early (7am) and be home earlier to spend time with the kids.  We had a little less family time during the week, but we each had more time with the kids, and we got a lot more done with the house, he would start things in the morning, and I would finish them in the evening.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie - (HKbp)Lilypie - (WKbt)
     Lilypie - (2DqE)  Lilypie - (1KYE)
    Lilypie - (RlhZ)Lilypie - (1CAm)
  • imageIblamethebeer:

    I don't know what you would do with "acreage" if you're both dealing with an hour long commute each way every day.  It's not like you'd have to time to grow your own vegetables.  So on that front I think you need to let go of idealism and do what will make your actual life easier.  Think of all the fun you could have in a 1/4 acre backyard with an extra hour and twenty minutes each day!

    On the other hand, if moving away from family means you lose your support network, then that might eat up all your time savings.  Does "family" just mean people to barbeque with on the weekends, or is that relatives who can do things like stop by and stick your dinner in the crockpot or pick your kids up from DC when you're running late or come over and hold down the fort for 20 minutes while you make dinner? 

    We live in the pacific nw so acreage is forest, not usually farm land. I grew up on acreage and had trails to roam on our property, hiking, mountain biking, bonfires etc. all in my own backyard. DH is a big fisherman and we'd be close to many lakes he likes to fish. So, it's more about lifestyle and having our own space than farming or working the land etc. 

    Family does mean a huge support network that watch our kids on a regular basis, however a lot of that is because we are so late getting home on our commute, that's the tough thing to figure out! They would still be within driving distance to babysit once in awhile, but not nearly as often or at the drop of a hat and right now we depend on them a lot!

  • DH and I would be moving closer to work within the year hopefully too a much smaller place but nearer our work, which in turn would give us lesser stress, and more time for the fam. SO to answer your question, yes, i would definitely move to shorten the commute time.

    GL with your decision


    i love you, my little mooncake mahal kita
     
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    imageimageimage
  • I would probably go for the shorter commute.  You're talking about moving to somewhere that will still only be about 45 mins from where you are now - that's nothing.  You could still easily go and see your family on the weekends, enjoy the outdoors, etc.

    I have a relatively short commute and I absolutely love it.  I love being able to be home by 5 and spend the evenings w/ DS and DH and feel relatively relaxed.  I'm actually meeting w/ a friend today about a job that would absolutely add a good amount of time to my commute.  That's honestly putting me largely on the "I'm not going to want to take it" side of things - even if it offers more $$. 

    Having the TIME that I have right now is wonderful.  Absolutely wonderful. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Moving closer to your job doesn't mean you have to give up your dream of owning land.  There's no reason why you can't move closer for a few years and then spread out to the country.
    imageimage
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • A shorter commute is definitely worth it for me, but everyone has different priorities. I'd rather have less stress and see my kid for an hour more every day.

    I also have family an hour away from us, and while I would love to live closer to them, it would also increase my commute. So we're staying put for now.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • Depends.

    Where we live now, we have access to 5 different "towns". It's like we are in the middle of our "city" and could take a job in multiple directions. Yes, there will always be a commute, but we could commute 45 minutes in five different directions to find a job (which is helpful since DH doesn't have one right now). However, if we moved closer to the downtown area (and closer to my current job), we would rule out taking a job in 3 out of the 5 areas, b/c the commute would be impossible. Does that make sense? Yes, most of the jobs are in the "downtown area" of our city, but there are quite a few in other areas. Are you ruling out a lot of other future job opportunities?

    That being said, while I would love a shorter commute, it's the price of living in the 'burbs and I'm okay with that. Plus there is the school district to think about. Here, it's better in the 'burbs then in the "city".

    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Yes, definitely.  You can go to parks, lakes, etc. on the weekend or even some summer evenings if you are getting home by 5:30!

    We live in a townhouse because it makes for a short and easy commute.  I grew up on over 6 acres with woods, trails, a stream, lots of animals, etc. and would love to have the same for our kids.  But, our county has tons of parks and other free outdoor spaces so we make plans to go nearly every weekend.  We also bought a townhouse in a suburb with a walking trail system and several small lakes.  They are not our own private trails and lakes, but our family has easy access to outdoor spaces with minimal upkeep and a short commute.  It works perfectly for us. Start looking around to see if you can find a compromise like this.

    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"