anyone work, 2 kids, DH travels?

mobiz · March 2012

i currently work and my son is in daycare. most weekdays my DH works later than bedtime, but he does help me get DS out the door in the morning so i have a little bit of help but not much. He has never done one daycare pickup/dropoff because of his schedule.

i'm due with baby #2 in june and will go back to work in sept. now DH may potentially be travelling out of town all week, every single week, so definitely giving me zero help. And i'm looking at preschools and infant care places where i may be dropping two kids off at two places and getting myself to work (my commute is already 2.5 hrs a day in the car)

anyone else do this? i feel like WM's often say they couldn't do it without their DH's help....i'm just hoping i'm not setting myself up for overload if i'm juggling two kids and a job with no DH around. i guess it's like being a single mom? who i have SO much respect for because i can't imagine doing it all on my own always!

wondering how people do it....??

Pesky · March 2012

Yes and no. Do I do everything you are looking at? No way. But I do have 2 kids and my DH travels frequently. My job is increasing in work duties and pressure. Fortunately, I have both kids at one center that runs infant through private kindergarten. So one drop-off until DD starts public school. Also, I have a very flexible job so I can show up later and leave earlier (usually giving up my lunch) to take care of the kids until bedtime when I can get a little more work done. I also am able to work from home. And honestly, you just do it. You plan a lot and do as much in advance as possible (i.e. grocery shop for the week when DH is around to watch the kids). It's really the hardest the first year when babies are so labor intensive but now, for example, my two can run out and play in the backyard while I fix them dinner. Soon enough I'll be able to just hit a restaurant with both in tow and not want to pull my hair out before beverages are served. So realize that it is relatively short term pain.

ETA: Also cheat a bit. Last night I had mini cheese raviolis from the fridge case that I prepared with a jarred sauce (Giada -- which is quite good). Tonight is pizza. Tomorrow not sure but Thursday will be chik fil a and Friday the remaining ravioli. Make it as easy as possible.

madhatter2003 · March 2012

I'm with Pesky, except I travel more than DH. I'd absolutely find one drop off or look at a nanny as well, there is no way I'd do 2 places plus a 2.5 hr commute each day and stay sane. If your DH will keep that travel schedule, do what you can to make it easier on YOU. Arrange care accordingly, cook/shop on weekends so that during the week you are just reheating, prep lunches for the entire week on Sunday, etc.

mobiz · March 2012

thanks guys--i do have to be realistic here....i appreciate the input!

expectingnothing · March 2012

I work, have two kids, and am divorced. I would look into a childcare solution that would take both kids. Both my kids attend the same daycare/preschool. I'm dreading the time when DD2 is still in preschool and DD1 is in elementary.

asyph107 · March 2012

My DH does not travel regularly only occasionally, but he is gone from 7am to 7pm all week. Our boys are not up in the morning when he leaves and DS1 goes to bed 30 mins after DH gets home, so cooking, baths, dressing, everything are on me plus work and school. The only way I function right now is our nanny. DS1 had been in daycare, blessing in disguise it closed and we decided to try a nanny. It has be excellent and equally cost effective for two. If I left DS1 in daycare and then tried to put DS2 in there as well.. I could not function. Too much dropping off, picking up and then stuff at home. Having a nanny come to us means no packing things up, no late dinners b/c I start the second I walk in, instead of after a pick up at daycare, pakcing stuff up there and at home, etc.

Is there anyway you could go the nanny route?

mae0111 · March 2012

I would agree with others re: a nanny if possible.

DH travels sporadically. He could be gone for two weeks one month and one day the next month. We never know when the travel is coming, and how long he'll be gone because every trip is different. With an hour commute each way, I didn't want to worry about drop off and pick up, so we have a live-out nanny.

The months with a lot of travel are tiring, but doable. I agree with others about making it easy. Breakfast for dinner, refrigerated ravioli, rotisserie chicken, etc. Often the nanny has to feed DD dinner because I get home too late. Leave some housecleaning for the weekend... or can you hire out for that as well?

Don't worry, you'll figure everything out....

mommabear7182 · March 2012

DH works in the army and has tight schedules. He's not always home for dinner, bedtime, etc. Once you get into a schedule it's so much easier.

Mrs.Greeko · March 2012

Sort of. I work FT and have three kids and DH is in the military. So he's home sometimes and gone sometimes. When he's home though he's gone before we wake up and doesn't get home until dinner time so no help really until bedtime. I won't lie, when he's gone it is challenging, but I'm used to it and can adjust relatively easily now. I know what I can expect to accomplish and what is not gonna happen while he's gone. It also helps that my commute is pretty short and I have family nearby if I really need them. It's hardest with an infant, but once the infant is a toddler it isn't too awful. That all said he's going to be gone for 2-3 months straight this fall and I will admit I'm not exactly looking forward to it!

USA Kiwi · March 2012

I work full time and have a teen stepdaughter and almost 4 month old son.

My DH works as a truck driver, so is gone 3-4 weeks, and only home 3-4 days.

It's tough with school events (meaning pick ups and drop offs, no school bus), daycare, full time work and getting things done.

But, it's doable. I cope by using my freezer. When the little guy naps on weekends, I cook and put meals in the freezer. I pull something out in the morning, and throw it in the oven (or whatever needs doing) when I get home and handle baths, bottle cleaning etc. I pump twice a day at work for DS to have milk the next day.

Routine, routine, routine. And back up (vodka) for when your routine is thrown out by an orchestra concert you learned about the same day it is on....

Eriksgal · March 2012

My DH travels pretty much every week Mon-Thur and I have 5 month old triplets and work full-time. I didn't think this was possible for me to function but it can be done! It's hard sometimes. Would a nanny be an option so you don't have to worry about daycare drop off and pick up logistics?

NicoleWI · March 2012

I absolutely agree w/ the people who suggested a nanny. DH helps in the a.m. at my house, but he is often gone until after bedtime and on weekends, too. Having a nanny is SOOOO much easier for us and in your situation I think it would work out great. I don't know how you are managing the commute, alone! Pluses for a nanny:

--no packing the kids up and worrying about drop off

--kids can sleep on their own schedule--no waking them up early to rush them out the door

--usually easier if kids are sick (mildly sick) than dealing w/ daycare

--no trying to rush to make pick-up time

--nanny can stay late as needed (check when hiring)--this flexibility is huge for me if I have an evening work event, or just need to run an errand sans-kids after work.

--nanny can do kid laundry, towels, basic clean-up. Even watering plants in the summer outside.

--nanny can be home for deliveries, repair people, etc--otherwise, aLL of that would fall on you, plus the two kids, plus your commute.

Nanny is a lifesaver for us. I would be much more stressed and frazzled w/out her.

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anyone work, 2 kids, DH travels?

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