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Pregnant after IF
Does the worry ever go away?
I thought I would feel better after seeing the hb but I was wrong. I woke up this morning after having the strangest dreams thinking that my baby's hb stopped. All day I have been analyzing all of my symptoms and thinking that they aren't as strong as before. My ms was next to nothing today. I know my mind is probably just playing tricks on me but I can't help but worry. When did you start to feel like "yes, this is my take home baby"? Hope everyone is doing well this Monday!
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Re: Does the worry ever go away?
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
It comes and goes. I don't think it ever completely goes away, though.
I was a total basket-case until almost 11 weeks, when something just "clicked" and I suddenly felt like everything would be ok. I managed to keep that feeling going until just a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, another wave of mega-fear/anxiety hit as I entered third tri, thanks to knowing several people who have had third-tri losses/stillborns. I've mostly shaken it off for now, after about three weeks of crying a lot, but I'm still nervous and just want to get to the end goal now.
It hasn't for me yet. Although it is better now that I feel her every day moving. I feel like I am holding my breath fr each milestone. Right now it is for v-day.
I am trying to enjoy it though and letting myself buy things for her, etc.
Big hugs to you!
Me: 36 DH: 40
DH dx azoospermia My dx: RA & AMA
d-IUI's--6/10, 7/13 & 8/4: all BFN
d-IVF#1--Lupron/Menopur/Bravelle/Novarel; mini-dose protocol
ER: 10/25--18R; 14F; ET: 10/28--3dt of 2 embies; 3 blasts frozen
+ HPT 11/4; Beta #1--14dp3dt: 441; Beta #2--21dp3dt: 9298
One beautiful jelly bean growing! Saw h/b on 11/28 and 12/5!!!
P/SAIF welcome
<a href="http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b315/mandalinn/?action=view
I doubt it. Each hurdle you get over, there's another one lying ahead. My next one is the a/s. After that it'll be v-day, then delivery. It gets a little better each time though!
___________________________________________________________________________
Trying for #1 since May 2010 l DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011
IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks
November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!
Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26
1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12
**TEAM GREEN!**
Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12
Trying for #2
FET #1 - October '13 - c/p l FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled
l FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN
~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~
Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14
**TEAM GREEN!**
Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14
This.
IVF 1 April 2011 - Cancelled
IVF 1.5 July 2011 - MC
IVF 2 October 2011 - BFP!
*Identical Twin Boys born June 2012*
Here we go again...IVF 3 is underway!
2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks
5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
IVF - May - BFN
6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
10/13 - BFP!!
It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!
yes and no. for me the first tri was so hard. I'm pretty sure my OB wanted to commit me to psych for hypocondria. you feel terrible, you're worried every pain is bad, you just have this overwhelming feeling of when will the other foot drop. but once you hit that second tri/end of feeling like death part it does ease up. I've made it 4 weeks without calling my dr freaking out about anything. you still worry but it's a different worry. hard to explain but you'll see soon enough. The bottom line, you're a mama from that first positive pg test, your worry won't be gone till your gone. That's what mama's are for.
Jan 12: IVF #1 - BFP!
It really does get better as you get farther along, but I still feel like I've spent this entire pregnancy waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hate that I felt that way and couldn't enjoy the pregnancy more, but it's not like you can help how you feel.
For me, 1st tri was absolutely brutal. I was pretty much a basketcase until my NT scan at 12 weeks and then I relaxed some. Once I hit v-day at 24 weeks it got better still. In spite of the fact that I'm at the point where I know he'd be pretty much okay if he were born now, I still worry a little every day and I don't think I'll be able to truly relax until I have a healthy baby in my arms. But at least for the last couple months I've been able to enjoy the pregnancy more instead of worrying constantly. Hang in there!
Our Journey to Brenden
IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8 fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN
IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011
ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2 beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos
Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole, yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
3 babies waiting on ice
To be completely honest, it never went away. It definitely got better as time passed and when the baby was big enough so that I could feel her movements, it made me less anxious, but still, up to the moment my daughter was born and I heard her cry, I still worried that something would go wrong.
Then of course once the baby is born, you start worrying about SIDS... and then when they start walking you worry they will bust their head open somewhere... and then... well, you get the gist. ;-)
Trish! So glad to see you over here! I remember chatting with you on the IF boards! Congrats!!!!
As far as worry, I'm 16 weeks along and I still worry regularly. I think part of that is that our IVF journey was so difficult, that we forget to enjoy the ride. I've gotten better at relaxing, but after having such frequent check ups with the RE, it's hard to wait 4 weeks in between appointments. Try not to over analyze your symptoms, and enjoy the thought that this could very likely be your take home baby!
Congrats again Trish!