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cole2144
member
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
Why does everything have to be so difficult?
cole2144
member
DH sent BM an email asking her about SD`s spring break, he wants to split the time or at least have SD while BM is at work. Well BM tells DH that his emails are ridiculous (the only reason he emails her is because she stomps all him on the phone or agrees to things only to say I never said that when the time comes.) DH asked for SD for half of her winter break, BM said no and promptly sent SD to her parents house for that time because she had to work. BM lives 40 minutes away from us but her parents live only 2 minutes away. We only found out she was with them because for our visitation SD got dropped off by her grandmom with a suitcase. Why does she have to fight DH for time when she does not even have SD with her?
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.This discussion has been closed.
Re: Why does everything have to be so difficult?
Our BM does the same thing. She went out of town with her BF a couple months ago and my husband asked if K could just stay with us (we seriously live 5 minutes away, 2 if we hit every light green). Since BM lives with her mother she chose to just leave K there. She told my husband K couldn't stay with us those 3 days because it would be "too disruptive" for K's schedule. Um, K shares a bedroom with BM, Grandma and her 14 year old Uncle, how could staying with us an extra 3 days possibly be anymore disruptive than what's already occuring over there? Even Grandma wanted K to come over to our house while BM was gone so that she could have a break. But it didn't happen. BM does the same thing when it comes to her occasional work hours.
All I can gather is that it's a control factor. At least with our BM it is. She has made it clear that Grandma is rated higher than my husband, and has point blank said that if he wanted more time with his daughter than he should have stayed with her (BM) and been a family. By sending LO to grandma's house, she gets to control where LO is. I can kind of understand your BM's desire to have LO at grandma's just because they live much closer, but it would have been easy enough to either: a) start your husband's weekend early and give him a couple extra days at the beginning; or b) extend his weekend by letting him have LO a couple extra days at the end; or c) do both. This may be something your husband needs to discuss with his attorney and have some language put into the CO regarding these school holidays.
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BM`s parents live 40 minutes from her, same as we do. Her parents live 2 minutes from us. In original post I meant to say they lived two minutes from us not her. This was where she lived before moving to her bf`s.
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So did your SD see her mom in the evenings for winter break or she slept at her grandparents for the whole break? That makes a difference.
Also, the parenting plan that I have proposed to my ex specifically states the the bio parents are required to give the other bio parent first right of refusal. Meaning that if they cannot care for the child on their days they are required to first offer the child to the other parent. I can't recall the exact wording but it seems like your parenting plan might have something like that in it?
I could have written this exact post. except our CO states that 'the parents will agree on the childs school vacation schedules based on their work schedules' BM works afternoons 3-11 or so and DH works overnights 11-7, so they don't even work the same shift but she would rather leave SD with either her husband or her mom, both of whom clearly have preference over SD's BIOLOGICAL FATHER who is desperately seeking more time with his child.
okay, my vents over. sorry you have to go through it. we are in the process of going back to court to modify our CO. we are putting in specific dates/ times in regard to every holiday, school vacation etc. we're so done playing BM's little control games, its sickening. I really don't understand why BM's try to keep their kids away from Bio-dads. especially when they want to spend time with their kids!!!!
No, her grandparents had her the whole time.
Last night, BM tried to tell my husband SD only had a couple days off for break but my husband looked online and got the dates and SD has 7 days of school off. When he told her he knew the dates, she said "How did you find that out?" She then stopped responding at all.
the academic calendars are online! anyone with a computer can access it! in september I printed SD's school calendar off the school website. when we knew specific dates that SD had off BM was FURIOUS (even though we have joint legal custody and are allowed access to such informtation.) she sounds like a piece of work, is it in your means financially to go back to court for clarification of the CO? like I said, we're getting specific times, and dates of every exchange and visitation. its going to be costly but well worth it to get rid of the headache that is BM
Hahahaha our BM has done the same thing!! She got really upset with my husband for getting a copy of the school calendar and emailing K's teacher for a list of the dates she would be going as an Early Bird (she's in Kindergarten, so it's only 1/2 day). The first time K was out at 1 p.m. instead of 3:20 p.m. and I showed up right on time to get her at school, BM flipped out and accused us of "stalking" her. Basically she didn't want us having K those 2 extra hours.
I'm really glad your husband is being proactive about getting accurate information from the school. It will come in handy later on when he can show a Judge that he cares enough to go online to stay up to date on what's happening at the school. Plus it will limit (some) of the game playing. I really hope your husband saves those texts or emails wherein she gives him inaccurate information and then questions how he got the correct info. Those will help too when he tries to get a more specific CO and can show how BM is playing games and not being honest.
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Our lawyer is preparing a list of what we want for the CO order to send to BM`s lawyer. We know she won`t agree so then we will just wait for a court date.
thats where we are at right now. BM & DH and their attorneys set up a mediation in december, BM said 'no flipping way am I giving you any more time with SD, oh and I want $200 a week in CS' ($50 MORE than what we are currently paying). we said no way. waiting on a court date now! best of luck to you guys!
Yeah that`s what BM said to us as well. Good luck to you guys too!