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Single Parents
:.:.Dear baby boy, No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.:.:
A bit off topic, but maybe other ladies have advice.
I'm 20 weeks pregnant, and adjusting to being single (going through a divorce) and trying to manage my bills and finances, and looking for a job. Needless to say, I have a lot on my plate. The marriage was a joke, he turned out to be the most emotionally damaging person I have ever met. I'm okay without him (much better off), but Im left feeling like an empty shell. He makes good money, yet is refusing to even claim the baby just to get out of paying the minuscule bills for the baby (I'm still on my mom VERY good insurance) and I hear how hes out buying new expensive items and even considering buying a BRAND NEW $60,000 truck. It's not just about the money, its the fact that I'm struggling and my parents have had to help me because he won't be a man. He's emotionally nonsupport, almost mean about the fact that I'm having HIS baby and one day hes going to have to step up. Hes called me horrible names, told people things about me that aren't true- no I don't care about what they think but it hurts that he was my husband and I'm having his baby yet he sinks that low. Then his crazy mother gets involved and tells me I'm unfit to be a mother (she knows I've had issues with depression, but seriously, who hasn't?) and tells me SHE is going to take the baby from me. I know its empty threats and ways of making me feel bad, but its working. After all I'm a pregnant gal- we all take things to heart. 3 years ago I was happy, I had a good job with extra money, had a very busy social life, was (in my opinion) very attractive. Then (3 years ago) I got depressed. I gained 50 pounds and quit caring about my looks and social life. When I started feeling (slightly) better I started dating my now STBXH. He was perfect at first, then slowly everything changed he seemed to keep me at just enough of a rope to think I was happy, but I wasn't looking back. Now that I'm 5 months pregnant, and alone I'm afraid I will never be the same again. I'm scared this is how I will always feel, and that this is as good as my life will ever be. I love my baby, and of course plan on being the best mom I can be. I just want to be social and attractive again. I want to feel good again but I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel and it seems so overwhelming. Anyone else been through this?
:.:.Dear baby boy, No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.:.:This discussion has been closed.
Re: A bit off topic, but maybe other ladies have advice.
This is just my opinion:
If you have family help and can make it without him, Let him go. You don't need the emotional abuse from any man.
Take care of yourself. You can lose weight and feel attractive about yourself after the baby arrives.
I let baby daddy walk away. He is not on birth certificate, not child suport. No every other weekend.
My daughter is all MINE!!! I do have parents that help me. I also have a full time job.
Anything you want to do you can. Keep your head up and keep cooking that precious baby.
Congratulations Mama to be
You are certainly not alone...never forget that. I'm going through a similar thing right now...my STBXH cheated on me while I was 4 weeks pregnant (we both knew about the baby at the time too) and decided he wanted a divorce and didn't want to be a father. He talks down to me whenever we talk and acts like it's my fault I got pregnant (he knew I hadn't been on birth control for 2 years and we had even discussed getting pregnant and had been trying to). Some men are ridiculous. Don't let him bring you down. You are going to have the most joyous being in your life very soon...it'll be his loss. I have to keep telling myself this everyday (I have issues with depression, too) and even though the things he does upsets me (like asking for a paternity test) I have to just let it roll right over me so I can get back up and be the Tigress! When you're a mom, you put your own emotions aside and you become the Tigress...you can do anything. Find a good lawyer who will be on your side and if worse comes to worse...have him sign over all parental rights...he doesnt deserve them anyways; you may not get child support that way but if you have a family who understands and can help...don't be shy to ask for help. That baby is worth all the pain and suffering.
Wish you lots of luck on that and the baby!
First off, do not do the above. Second, try to focus on your health and the baby's health. I recommend that you not speak to your STBXH or his mother. Communicate through emails only or even better, through your attorney. After the baby is born seek cs by income deduction, so you that's one less thing you have to discuss with him.
This. Exactly. If he was emotionally abusive, most states will consider that domestic violence and take it into consideration. Make sure you can back it up, since it's harder to prove than physical abuse. Communicate through email only. Don't respond to Texts, and don't answer phone calls.