Why is my 3 yr old waking up at night now? desperate mommy

BabyCakes3 · March 2012

DD has been waking at night the last few weeks. Around 2am. It's getting worse. She will come in our room for the most ridiculous things. Her ankle itches, daddy didn't rub her back, she needs hugs & kisses.

It started when we told her she could get out of bed if she needed to pee but she needed to pee in her bathroom & get back in bed. She has yet to do that. She runs across the house fussing for the strangest things.

We thought making her walk back by herself would get her to stop. That doesn't help b/c she will get back in bed & start screaming b/c she can't find a certain animal.

Last night she woke up 4 times. This is insane. Do we start shutting the gate on her room?

I've tried bribing her with some wall stickers she really wants. I've tried offering treats, etc.

Sawyerplus1 · March 2012

I'm sorry, I have no advice. Just thought I'd share that my 3 year old DS went through the same thing. It started last August, approximately, and he started waking up 3-5 times a night, every night, and then was up for the day earlier than before. It was seriously rough. Sometimes he'd wake up to pee, sometimes it'd be for a drink of water, sometimes he couldn't find a stuffie, sometimes he wanted to be retucked, and sometimes it was a bad dream. Thankfully he wasn't up for long and was usually easy to go back to sleep, but it still made for seriously disrupted sleep for all of us!

He's been better lately, in the last month or so, but is usually up once a night still.

Hopefully someone can give you some advice or tips, but just thought I'd share that I totally feel your pain!

jerol · March 2012

Not much advice- just be consistent, don't give in to what she asking for....bathroom if she wants it and bed. Be concise- not a lot of talking.....all business.

Unfortunately, my daughter went through this from basically age 3-4. It was a rough, sleep-deprived year.

Wally3 · March 2012

My DS has been doing this since he turned 3. No advise but - I'm hoping it is a phase that will pass soon. It is hard to be consistant in the middle of the night - I'm so dazed and confused. I told him to read - I thought it was 5:57 he can get up at 6. It was only 5am. That caused a problem.

LucyPevensie · March 2012

Don't gate her in her room. Just quietly and consistently and kindly direct her back to her bed. It's normal for toddlers and/or preschoolers to wake up at night. Some go right back to sleep on their own, some need a little help. Night time can be scary (for small people and even big people too) - she may be a little creeped out - and may need reassurance that all is well. Or - she may have itchy ankles. Either way - she needs a little extra help getting through the night - just be calm, quiet and consistent - and it WILL pass. (But for folks who suggest gating or locking a toddler or preschooler in his/her room while he/she shrieks -- I suggest getting used to the idea of raising a child/adult who will need to sleep with a light on until approximately the age of 92.) I can remember being tiny and scared at night. It's normal; a part of growing up and wondering if you're safe as you become more and more aware of yourself and the world. Again, it's a phase. Hang in there.

Hopin4aBaby · March 2012

We have been going through the same thing for about 9 months. She wakes up on average 3 times a night. It sucks!!!! Everytime she wakes up and comes up to our room, we walk her back down to her room. Nothing has changed yet. Good luck!

KathrynMD · March 2012

could you try one of those "OK to wake clocks" as a reminder that its still night time, so she knows she shouldn't be awake, etc. and use that in combo w/ gently putting her back to bed w/ very little talking/interaction.

Echowysp · March 2012

My 3 year old son does this. Usually he comes into our bed or cries for me to sleep with him. I comply only because I need my sleep since I'm up with his sister a lot and this is actually an improvement in his sleeping (he used to wake several times a night). He wakes from dreams and feels alone.

From my friends with older kids, kids waking and needing us or wanting to sleep in our beds is pretty common. I think I might start a sticker chart of staying in bed to see if that cuts it down.

Echowysp · March 2012

LucyPevensie:
Don't gate her in her room. Just quietly and consistently and kindly direct her back to her bed. It's normal for toddlers and/or preschoolers to wake up at night. Some go right back to sleep on their own, some need a little help. Night time can be scary (for small people and even big people too) - she may be a little creeped out - and may need reassurance that all is well. Or - she may have itchy ankles. Either way - she needs a little extra help getting through the night - just be calm, quiet and consistent - and it WILL pass. (But for folks who suggest gating or locking a toddler or preschooler in his/her room while he/she shrieks -- I suggest getting used to the idea of raising a child/adult who will need to sleep with a light on until approximately the age of 92.) I can remember being tiny and scared at night. It's normal; a part of growing up and wondering if you're safe as you become more and more aware of yourself and the world. Again, it's a phase. Hang in there.

Great advice! I also remember waking from dreams and wandering into my parents room for comfort. I figure as long as it's quick and doesn't disturb everyone's sleep, ds can come into our bed to finish out the night. I mean, I'd prefer everyone sleep the night through and stay in their own beds, but I have to work with reality.

C.squared · March 2012

DD wakes up a lot at night too (always has). I actually find that when she wakes up it's usually because she has to go to the bathroom, even if she doesn't tell us that. So I usually take her to pee, she does, then tuck her back in. Depending on when I go to bed, sometimes I just take her to the bathroom when I go to bed (she's still sleeping). That sometimes keeps her from waking up later in the night. I also still use a monitor and can talk to her over that - she never gets out of bed on her own, but calls to us - I can usually calm her down by talking to her over the monitor and reminding her to hug one of her "buddies" if she needs to. The OK to wake clock works for us too in the mornings - she still wakes up early, but will read quietly to herself before the clock turns green. The second it turns green, she yells for me, though, lol. Good luck!!!

hjk · March 2012

My DD did this too recently. We tried a reward system where if she went all night without calling we gave her a treat first thing in the morning and a token towards a larger reward. She wanted 4 m and ms as her small reward, and if we are all sleeping at night I'm happy to give them to her at 7 am! The " larger" rewards were things she chose and she had to earn after 3 nights, then 5 nights, then 8 nights,etc. Our pedi gave us the idea and it's worked for now. I hope it lasts.

Good luck!

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