Anxiety over DH returning home...
sami1784
member
I never thought I would have mixed feelings about DH coming home, but I really do. I can't wait to wrap my arms around him, breathe in his scent, and know that I'm not just dreaming. However, I really have some anxiety about how things will go for a while after he returns. When he went away for 5 months in 2010 for BOLC, it took about a month to get used to being "us" again when he returned home because we were used to doing our own things and I had developed my own routine while he was away. This deployment has been almost twice that long, after you count pre-deployment training, and we won't be getting back to just "us", we will be "us + 1". I'm really not sure what to expect - the last time he was home was for a 4-day pass before leavnig the mob station to go overseas, and R was only a month old at that point, so I did all of the taking care of the baby. I know I need to be patient with DH when he returns and not freak out if things aren't just sunshine and rainbows for a little while. Any advice from BTDT moms who have dealt with readjusting after deployment when before it was an "us" thing but after it was an "us + 1"?
Re: Anxiety over DH returning home...
No advice - but I can relate to how you are feeling. My DH comes home to "us + 1" in a few months and I too am nervous. He already says things like, all the guys want to go to vegas so let's go -- and I have to constantly remind him that we have a baby now. He knows we have a child, but he just can't grasp how much life has changed while he is away and that she isn't just a tiny newborn that can go wherever we want... she is a child now, who has a mind of her own, and has to be priority #1.
I'm sure things will work themselves out... and I think the date night idea is a good one!
I've never had any experience with MH coming home and us having a child, but I have had experience with him coming home from a deployment so you can take this or leave it.
I would say to just be patient. It's going to take time to get into a new routine. Try not to get annoyed with him if he does things differently then you do. It's going to take some time to get used to each other again. Spend time together and in no time you'll be back to normal I'm sure!
So glad he's coming home soon for you! Just focus on the excitement of it and don't worry about anything else.
CJ 05/29/2013
I don't have any advice, but I am in a similar situation. When DH returns in a couple of months it'll be us+1 and we'll be PCSing almost immediately. So things will probably be a little hectic for awhile and I am expecting that it will take quite some time for us to establish a new routine and feel like ourselves again. On top of this, I'm concerned about my post pregnancy body. I'm working on getting things back together, but with the amount of weight I gained, it's pretty unlikely that I'll get back to anything close to my pp size. I'm a little worried about whether or not that'll influence how attracted to me DH is and how comfortable I am with myself.
What I have been trying to do since DH left is be open about my anxieties concerning our future together. We talk pretty openly about what we anticipate, think, and intend to do once we try to re-establish a sense of normalcy. I have nothing against counseling, but if you find that once he returns you're having a hard time adjusting, go for it. I don't anticipate that for myself, but I am open to anything that may be helpful for getting us back on track. GL!
So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"
Voted "Mom of the Year" 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards