"are there twins in your family?"

sweetsugarmama · March 2012

You all know the questions you get, "do twins run in your family?" followed by "did you take fertility drugs?"

The other day someone asked "are there twins in your family?" My 5 year old piped up "there are now!" It was the best answer I heard yet!

justlld · March 2012

That's always my response. Smart girl

SRK128 · March 2012

Good Girl !

tootlebug · March 2012

im never lucky enough to get the "did you do fertility drugs" questions. it's always "do twins run in your family.". and if i say "no," it is then the kind of baffled, blank stare. the stare that says "huh how the f8ck did THAT happen then?". (and im sorry even if twins run in the family it's not like everyone has to 100% brace themselves for twins!) if i do get some sort of further questioning, it is ALWAYS the assumption that i did IVF. always. that's rare though. and if we manage get beyond that and i say that i did clomid then i swear they must go home and scratch their little heads for 5 hours.

AmyJoy728 · March 2012

"there are now" is my typical response but if someone has me cornered then they ask about fertility drugs and continue asking if I try to avoid answering.

Mrs.Greg · March 2012

I love how people ask this question, it's an "unintrusive" way of asking if you used fertility meds. It's like they think we can't read between the lines. Twins actually do run in my family but I still find the question offensive because complete strangers are being so nosey. They might as well just ask what they really want to know - "Did you use fertilty meds?" Why beat around the bush?

blondek8 · March 2012

Most people are geniunely curious and not asking for malicious intent. I've never been asked if we had IF problems, my husband has been asked a few times at work though. I guess it doesn't touch a nerve with me b/c ours were spontaneous.

chellsii · March 2012

lol too cute!!

Angelina2010 · March 2012

Great response! Intelligent child, I never thought I would get asked the crap people think up to ask. I am not used to it won't get used to it. I think blank stares are the best.

kzawisl · March 2012

If it is someone I can be snarky to, I just say, "No, we had sex twice one night and here they are!" but I love your daughters answer.

tootlebug · March 2012

i do find that sometimes, like a PP said, it is a roundabout way of figuring out if IF treatments were done. usually though in my experiences, it's not. and it's a little annoying bc we live in a huge metro area where there are lots of people who have done IF treatments. so i just dont get how the majority of people that ask me, IF treatments never cross their minds.

the ones that might have personal or close experience with IF treatments usually dont ask the "do twins run in your family." they dont usually say anything at all...and separately, usually i dont mind talking about it - i could talk someone's ear off about IF if they shared similar knowledge! but with me, other people usually assume the family thing (majority of the time) or IVF. clomid just throws them for such a loop.

i actually went and got coffee this morning and there were 3 women in there sitting next to me, in their 40s, and they were talking to me about having twins...none of them asked me if twins ran in the family. they did however compliment me in a nice way about my weight/how great i look...but then they were like "wow your babies are going to be tiny". and i said twice "no they really arent at least right now" and they said "oh yeah, you must feel huge but you dont look it and im sure the babies will be tiny". and i said "no really, they arent. ive had ultrasounds very frequently and they are very good sized for being 34 weeks along." i know people mean well. ...but still.

deutschefairy · March 2012

Good girl! That's usually what I say too. Sometimes I say they're in DH's, which is true, but obviously not why we ended up with twins. It just depends on who asks.

koyn · March 2012

awesome

amanda31H · March 2012

I always kind of cringe when I see people get offended by this question.

I was 7 weeks PG (didn't know it was twins) and saw a friend of a friend at a party who was PG with twins. We started catching up (I'd met her a few times before), and one of my first questions was "do twins run in your family??"

It never, ever occurred to me that people would think that was a thinly veiled way to ask if you did IF treatments. She just smiled and said no. I found out 7 weeks later that I was PG with twins, and she and I became friends. I later learned she went through IVF. I felt like an ass when I remembered that I'd asked her that question.

I honestly was genuinely curious and fascinated/excited for her that she was having twins - especially since I was PG at the time.

I have been asked by people (complete strangers and colleagues that I wasn't close with) if I did IF, and have always been horrified that anyone would ask that!!!

JustcallmeGG2 · March 2012

I FRIGGIN HATE those 2 questions. actually my husband's grandfather was a twin, but then people start disecting the family line. Like "wait... its skips a generation right? but you are 2 generations..." it REALLY irks me!

ETA: i have been asked at least 5 times about the fertility drug thing, mostly from people i am not close to.

tootlebug · March 2012

again, at least people ask you guys about the IF stuff. i guess if it was spontaneous i can see why you might be more annoyed about the IF questions? but as a PP said, the whole "oh wait so it skipped a generation, maybe two, so that would but you at X". is so irritating. i made the mistake once of saying that my great aunts were ID Twins (not hereditary which most people dont understand).

but really, even if twins DO run in the family,so what? this does not mean that someone who conceives them spontaneously is going to just be like 'oh ho hum, i figured, it runs in the family, not suprrised at all."

admittedly sometimes i do just say "yep in the fam".

MuseumMaven · March 2012

Good girl! This is usually my husband's answer. I can't help but go all educator on people and explain that ID twins don't run in families. Poor people usually look glazed over by the time I'm done explaining - I'm sure they wish they'd never asked!

sweetsugarmama · March 2012

the people who just ask are there twins in your family genuinely dont' bug me. it's the ones who follow it up and nod while saying "oh fertility drugs?" I usually say, why do you ask? if they say "my ___________ is going through IF." I don't mind sharing, yes it was an IUI. If they have no reason for asking or fumble through some answer I usually don't have to go any further with it.

I feel like, especially around here, there's some judgement with fertility treatments. I don't know why.

Mayan2011 · March 2012

I am going to have to use that one! I am not completely out yet, but with the few people that have asked - I have told. The conversation inevitably ends up with - do twins run in your family. It erks me to all... Luckily, I haven't been asked the fertility med question - yet.

Smart cookie you have there!

tarajayne · March 2012

I get annoyed by this question too but luckily they do run in the family so I can say yes. But I don't really explain who the twins are because yeah if they start counting generations I may have to punch them.

I have only had 1 person that I am not close to ask me if I did fertility drugs. I was so shocked that she would ask that I just nodded. Her response was, "Oh, lucky you didn't have triplets! That's how those movie stars end up with all those kids." WTF seriously? She was lucky she didn't catch me in a hormonal state because I probably would have went off on her.

Lithgirl · March 2012

blondek8:
Most people are geniunely curious and not asking for malicious intent. I've never been asked if we had IF problems, my husband has been asked a few times at work though. I guess it doesn't touch a nerve with me b/c ours were spontaneous.

i think the same....but mybe bc ours were spontaneous too.

CulinaryKate · March 2012

I get really offended when people say they're going to be tiny for some reason... my OB seems pretty confident I'll go to 38 weeks and my husband and i were 9 & 10lbs respectively. Not that I think it would be IN ANY WAY COOL to have 16 pounds of baby in me, it wouldn't surprise me if we had normal sized newborns. Guess I'll see where we're measuring on Friday!