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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
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Lurker here...advice?

hjweberhjweber member
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Hello, all :)  I am looking for unbiased opinions before I come off as rude to MIL.  DD is 7mos and I am working part-time and going to school part-time.  We use MIL and my mom as babysitters.  It's hard enough at this point to start a sleeping schedule without MIL letting her take 2-hour naps at 6pm & not helping her fall asleep during the day so she is only napping for a total of 30 min or so when she is with MIL.  Then when I get her home, she crashes.  And is up at 3am.  Ugh.  I've tried scheduling in "NAP" in DD"s eating schedule for the day and I know MIL is not following my nap schedule and say's DD 'just won't sleep' or that she wasn't going to 'force her to stay awake.'  Is it a lost cause?  Should I just let it go?  I just feel DD will never sleep good if half of the week she's staying up and hardly napping.  How can I help MIL to help DD nap at her house?
~Married my best friend 06/27/2010~ ~Miscarriage July 2010~ ~Hannah Leigh born 07/26/2011 (5 weeks early) @ 8:38am 4lbs 15oz~
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Re: Lurker here...advice?

  • nfrtnynfrtny member
    I'm assuming she naps everywhere but MIL's house so... When she says "she just won't sleep" run through the basics with her. Tell her to go in a dark room, be quiet, give her a bottle, whatever. Just tell her she needs to shut up, cause that's probably what's going on! GL!
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  • hjweberhjweber member
    You're so right.  I just hate being the b*tch.  Guess DH has a talk to have ;)
    ~Married my best friend 06/27/2010~ ~Miscarriage July 2010~ ~Hannah Leigh born 07/26/2011 (5 weeks early) @ 8:38am 4lbs 15oz~
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  • landosmommylandosmommy member

    imagehjweber:
    You're so right.  I just hate being the b*tch.  Guess DH has a talk to have ;)

    Yeah, I was going to suggest to have YH talk to her. That way there won't be any issues between you & her. & maybe just keep telling her over & over again that your DD needs a set schedule. Hopefully eventually she'll catch on. 


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  • festivusfestivus

    Could you take a day (or even 1/2 day) off and go with LO to MIL's? Then you could see what she is doing/not doing and help troubleshoot.

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  • MrsIMrsI member

    We had an issue with FIL watching DD. Every Friday she would come back SUPER crabby, not wanting to play and in general just wanting to be alone. I finally realized was over stimulated and FIL must be playing with her and shaking things in front of her face ALL day and not letting her play alone. 

    Instead of accusing him DH called and asked how mych she was playing by herself. FIL said only when he made a bottle or went to the bathroom. So DH just told him she really needs to play by herself, it's a skill she has to learn.

    Back to your question :) I think your DH should ask his mom what your LO is doing instead of napping and what she does to try to get LO down for a nap. If you give her the chance to "explain" first you'll know exactly what is wrong and how to fix it without accusing her of something first and making her defensive from the get go. GL it's do hard to let others care for LO especially multiple people keeping LO off a cindustant schedule! We have 4 different people watching her and it sucks! 

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  • HappyAardvarkHappyAardvark member
    Why don't you ask MIL to make a few days/week's worth of a daily activity log? Doesn't have to be super-detailed, just jotting down times and durations of feedings, changings, naps, etc. Tell your MIL that you are still really challenged with her nighttime sleep, and the pedi suggested you make a record for a few days to try and analyze where the issue might be (even though you pretty much already know). That way, hopefully seeing things on paper will drive home the message of "HEY, baby is only napping for an hour a day, this needs to somehow change."
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  • bluejettabluejetta member
    imagefestivus:

    Could you take a day (or even 1/2 day) off and go with LO to MIL's? Then you could see what she is doing/not doing and help troubleshoot.

    This was going to be my suggestion though I depending on your MILs temperament this might not work if she feels she is being told what to do.  My mom and Dad babysit from time to time and even when I leave a schedule/info they often fudge it a bit -- which for one day (or a couple hours) is usually OK though now we are on a 3 nap schedule so I'd be more stringent on it.

    Since your LO is with them consistently I think it is reasonable to ask/expect that they do their best to follow the plan/routines you want even if some days it works better than others.  

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