*LONG* If you are a new Preemie parent

Disclaimer: I know I don't post that often but I have been a member of this board and still follow most of you

 First I want to say hi and congrats to all the new preemied parents! Preemies are a miracle and a blessing from God. You were picked as their mom/dad for a reason. Its because you have the absolute strength, determination, tenacity and support to get through this and to help them through this tough time! There will be amazing ups and horrible downs but at the end of the day all that matters is that sweet little person laying in the isolette in front of you! You can do this! We are here for you! Some of us have been through this and know how you are feeling and what you are going through. It gets easier as the days go on. Each and everyone of you and your little ones will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know we wouldn't be where we are today without all the love and support we received for the 108 days Addyson was hospitalized or that we still received with 3 weeks to go until her first birthday.

Next I wanted to kind of introduce you to my story and let you know that if you have questions please feel free to ask them here. Below is my Birth Story. You don't have to read it if you don't want. Its just about her birth and not about our hospital stay but I am willing to share if you want to know more.

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On March 17, 2011 at 10:30am I was scheduled for a normal OBGYN appointment. I was 21 weeks 5 days in to my pregnancy. It was a Thursday just like all my other appointments. At this point I had been having Braxton hicks contractions for about 6 days. At my appointment we went through all the normal things; height, weight, blood pressure, temperature, questions about how I was feeling, checking my belly and the baby?s heart-rate/heart-beat. I mentioned my BH to Dr. Smith and she didn?t seem concerned. I had one while I was lying on the table and she felt my uterus and told me that BH didn?t normally start until about 28 weeks and to keep an eye on things. If I had bleeding or a change in cervical mucus to call and she would want to see me right away. With that I went home to get changed for a job interview I had scheduled for 1pm. Little did I know my pregnancy and life were about to change drastically.

                When I got home I had something to eat and relaxed for a little while. At about noon I started getting ready. I got my clothes together I was going to were and was getting ready to put make-up on. I went to the bathroom as any normal pregnant woman does 50 million times a day. When I wiped I made sure to look at the toilet paper because of what Dr. Smith had said. To my surprise the paper was pink. After washing my hands I immediately (heart pounding, feeling like vomiting) called the clinic. Dr. Smith was at lunch but wanted to see me at 1pm. I called and rescheduled my interview for the next day (Friday) at 11am. Little did I know I would never interview with them. While I waited for my appointment I laid in bed for 30 minutes on my left side and drank some water hoping it would help. At 12:45 I headed up to the clinic. They took me back right away and Dr. Smith came in immediately. She was going to do a sterile speculum exam just to make sure I was high and tight and then send me for an ultrasound to make sure I wasn?t funneling. Unfortunately I heard the words I didn?t want to. In the middle of the exam Dr. Smith said, ?Actually, I?m going to have you stay right here. You are 3cm dilated with a bulging bag. I need to make a phone call.? The next short while was filled with lots of nurses coming and talking to me. Calling Kevin. Calling my mom. Calling Kevin?s cousin. My Dr. originally wanted a family member to DRIVE me to Minneapolis (2 hours from where I live). She then changed her mind and said she would have me taken by ambulance or air lifted. Turns out I got to go in a helicopter that day. I was transferred to a gurney and wheeled to the maternity section of the hospital (its only 3 rooms). A catheter was placed and we were put on continuous fetal monitoring. An IV of Normal Saline was also started. My Dr did not and would not start Magnesium sulfate. She thought I was too far and would deliver no matter what. Kevin and Jessica showed up just as I was getting to Maternity. Shortly after the flight crew also showed up. I was taken by myself on a 30-hr long helicopter ride. Once I was in the helicopter and I had mag sulf started as well as another IV and was given zofran incase I got air sick. The monitored my contractions and Addyson?s heart-rate while in flight.

                When I got the transfer hospital (Abbott Northwestern) A LOT of my family was waiting for me. My mom, Kevin, my sister, my dad, my step mom. It was crazy to see all of them there already. They sped like CRAZY MANIACS! Dr. Block then came in to examine me, do an ultrasound and tell me the plan he had decided on. They decided to put me in trendelenburg ( the tip the hospital bed 35 or so degrees on your head) and check me in the morning. If my bag of water went back in to my uterus they would do a cerclage and possibly send me home on bedrest. I hope and prayed that it would work. I wish I had pictures to show you how extreme trendelenburg was. Unfortunately it didn?t work. I stayed on strict bedrest for a week until my water broke. I needed assistance with everything. They didn?t even want me rolling over on my own. I WAS NOT allowed to use my abdominal muscles. I needed suppositories to stool and couldn?t wipe myself. I needed a catheter that eventually wouldn?t drain unless I rolled over. I had to eat lying down on my head. I needed to keep my fluid intake high. At some point a neonatologist did come and speak with us about when they would intervene and what would happen if we did not make it to the date of intervention. I woke up in the middle of the night during the first weeked (my mom and Kevin were there) and made sure to tell my mom to contact someone from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep because I wanted pictures of the baby after it was born. My mom told me she had already spoken to the nurses about that and other things that would happen if the baby were born and fetal demise were to occur. I was so glad to always have a family member with me. When my best friend came to visit she painted my nails and toes, washed and braided my hair (in bed). She is the BEST!

                The weekend after I was admitted Kevin and I did a lot of thinking and talking and crying. We didn?t know what was going to happen but we knew it wasn?t going to be easy. I pushed on deciding on names (we didn?t know the gender) in case something happened. We decided on Kolby Derald for a boy and Addyson Elizabeth for a girl. Eventually my water did break (I think there was just a small tear in my bag) and it was decided I would be taken off of the magnesium sulfate after receiving the steroid shots for the baby?s lungs (beta methasone). My water broke at 22 weeks 5 days. The shots cannot be given until 22&6 and interventions will not take place to save the baby?s life until the steroid shots have been given. The morning of Friday March 25 I woke up to a nurse with a needle and syringe in her hand. It was one of the best things to see.  I was getting my first steroid injection! The next morning I got the second. On Sunday my Mag Sulf was shut off and I was transferred down stairs to a long-term antepartum room. I was still on bedrest but I had bathroom privileges now! And I got to take a real shower! I forgot one great thing about the hospital I was at ? they had massage therapist that came EVERYDAY free of charge. Sunday night my best friend came again to stay with me. She would leave Monday afternoon and after that no one could come and spend time with me again until Wednesday or Thursday. I was heartbroken to see Kevin leave. During the day Monday Courtney and I watched movies and talked. I was having intermittent contractions. I think I had the nurse put me on the monitor about 5 times that day. They never saw real contractions and just called in uterine irritability but they hurt and my abdomen was rock hard during them. Courtney had to leave around 3:30 to go to work that night. I talked to my mom and was breathing through a contraction while I was on the phone with her and had called Kevin to say good night and told him what happened during the day. I asked him to come up like I did every night and told him I knew he had to work. I guess he should have come. Around 10:30 I got my muscle relaxer/sleeping pill. I kept having contractions that I was trying not to pay attention to as I didn?t think they were anything. I would fall asleep between them, wake up and have one and roll over. Around midnight I had one so I got up to go to the bathroom. Between my bed the bathroom and back I had 4 really painful contractions. I called the nurse in to monitor me. She was having trouble keeping Addyson?s heart-beat on the monitor and her pushing on my abdomen during contractions was EXTREMELY painful. She called the Dr. while I called Kevin and my mom. When she came back she told me they were transferring me upstairs to L&D. I called Kevin and my mom back and told them I was in active labor and heading upstairs to deliver. The elevators were alarming and not moving when we got to them. I almost had to walk up the stairs. When we got up there they tried again to get the baby on the monitor and couldn?t. I asked for an epidural. They called for one while I got up to go to the bathroom. I had a TON of bloody show. When I got back to the bed they came in to do an ultrasound just to make sure the baby was still head down and doing okay. It was then they found out why they couldn?t get her heart-beat on the monitor. Only her feet were in my uterus. They then rushed me back to the OR where the NICU team was already waiting and set up for delivery. Once I got on the OR table they had me start pushing. I should probably include that I was vocalizing during contractions when the started down on 5^th floor and was still doing so in the OR. In about 3 pushes the baby was out. It was 1:20am exactly on March 29,2011. She was immediately taken by the NICU team and not allowed to breath by herself. She was intubated and had lines placed immediately. During this time I was trying to deliver my placenta. The Dr. was pulling on the umbilical cord and pulled it off. She had to do a manual extraction of my placenta. They gave my 10 of Fentanyl counted to 10 and she shoved her hand in to my uterus. I was bearing down and almost screaming while she was doing this until she yelled at me to stop and that I wasn?t helping. Eventually she got it out (she thought it was intact but a few days later I passed a huge piece of it). I asked if baby was a girl and they said she was. They asked her name and I told them. She was then transferred to the connecting children?s hospital and I was taken back to my room. I got to see her briefly but only her arms and legs. I couldn?t see much else. Kevin showed up 2 hours later. We saw her for the first time at 4:30am. She was tiny and red and sticky with tubes and wires everywhere. Our little peanut Addyson Elizabeth Loge weighed in at a whopping 1lb 1.6oz. After talking with her nurses and Dr. I started not feeling we went back to my room. I went to sleep and everyone (my WHOLE family) went to the waiting room. When I finally woke up I pumped for the first time ( I got 12ml) and got to eat. We then took the family to meet Addyson. The rest is history

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Last I wanted to point out some great resources for preemie parents.

1. March of Dimes : They provide great information and resources to parents as well as doing the March for Babies to raise funds and awareness to help prevent/stop pre-term birth.  https://www.marchofdimes.com/

2. Graham's Foundation: Graham?s Foundation is a non-profit organization founded in 2009 by Jennifer and Nick Hall in memory of their son, Graham. Its mission is to offer both practical and emotional support to parents of extremely premature babies. The foundation supports the parents by sending care packages to them during their journey in the NICU, and the foundation's website provides a place for parents to share their stories and find support. (Copied off their website) https://www.grahamsfoundation.org/subscribe.html?gclid=CJ2Y8c6h2q4CFY0BQAodbwhPfA

3. Pictures of Hope: They are basically a huge group of photographers that have decided to dedicated their time and funds to take pictures of preemie babies for and with their parents at no cost to the parents. You can decide when you want them to come and capture those beautiful and memorable photos of your infant. I know I will forever cherish the ones I had taken of my DD.  https://www.picturesofhopefoundation.org/info/for-parents/

4. Project Sweet Peas: They provide support and send care packages to preemie parents at the request of family members. They also have great resources on their website. https://projectsweetpeas.com/default.aspx

I hope this information is helpful to you and doesn't just bog down your time. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me. I will be watching your posts and praying for all!

M