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Stay at Home Moms
since nothing is off limits here
I'm wondering if you have taboo topics with your friends IRL.
I don't talk about politics, personal finances or religion with my friends. I also only talk about sex in general terms (no specifics) with my GOOD GFs.
WDYD?
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Re: since nothing is off limits here
This is us too. There are a few super-close friends and some relatives that we talk religion and politics because we all have similar beliefs. But beyond the close ones, we never talk about it.
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I don't talk about money at all with anyone, at least not like our money. not even my parents. Its just how i was raised, it is rude to ask about how much someone makes, paid for something ect.
A couple years back the news paper printed how much my father makes a year on the front page of the paper, - he works for the city. He and everyone else in our family were all modified!
I also don;t talk about my relationship with FI with just anyone, only like my bestfriend. What is between us is between us u know.
I don't talk about money with most of my friends and family; because most of my friends make next to nothing and are not in the same place in life that we are financially. If you are struggling to find gainful employment or keep your small business afloat, you probably don't want to hear me whine about how much we owe in taxes or how J is buying another motorcycle or whatever.
I don't talk about kids and parenting with my childless friends for the same reason. I don't care if you were a nanny for five years or how much experience you have with kids. If you aren't a mom you don't get to have an opinion about the choices I make.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
I don't talk with anyone IRL about those things, except my brother and his wife. But with the personal finances, I don't get too detailed.
I don't talk about sex with anybody except DH.
Neither topic really interests me, so I guess I don't talk about them. I do not believe in organized religion and despise political conversations/ opinions. If either topic comes up, i'm ok with it- but I don't have much to contribute and would never bring them up.
I avoid religion and politics also with many friends (the ones I know sit comfortably on the opposite side of the fence from me). We get along otherwise and don't feel the need to argue about such things. I do discuss those things occasionally with more like-minded folks.
To answer the "what do you talk about"- books we've read/are reading, movies, events we've attended/are attending, funny things that have happened, family issues, schooling, weather, other things going on in our lives, etc. Are you saying you only discuss religion and politics? We rarely do. I am looking for some feel good time when I am with friends and neither religion or politics falls into that category.
This.
wait wait. You don't talk about money at all? Like not about whether or not to pay off mortgage or student loans, where to invest, what kind of life insurance to buy, disability insurance, leasing vs. buying a car, cost of groceries, cost of home repair, how much preschool costs, where to get cheap passes to the zoo, etc.
How on earth is that rude?
With most close friends, we generally don't talk about politics or religion, but it's not a taboo. We'd be fine talking about it and keeping civil, but it just doesn't come up. We probably wouldn't talk finances from a numbers standpoint, but we'll talk about investments and when we're having financial woes, if that makes sense.
Me and my BFF can talk about anything. You name a controversial topic, we've discussed it. Even if we have differing views on something (almost never) it doesn't get heated or upset. I enjoy having someone like that who I know I can talk to and I won't be judged (besides DH).
I'm a debater. If someone has an opinion on something, I'll generally state whether or not I agree, and an argument for the situation whether I agree with said argument or not, because I like the conversation. I never do it in a "Well you're wrong because of this" type of way, so I tend to gravitate to people that can have a discussion about it without getting angry. I feel it makes for a more intelligent discussion.
With that said, I keep abortion off the table because of how emotional some people are to that topic, and I keep money (as in what we make, our bills, etc.) off the table. I'll discuss money saving ideas, how we've cut back on certain things, and all that, but no numbers. I just don't feel it's anyones business what's going in and out of my bank account, nor do I care what's going in and out of theirs.
Everything else is fair game unless you otherwise say: "I don't like to talk about that."
Is this to me?
I don't find it rude to talk about money, but I don't discuss personal finances. As in our exact income, bills, etc. I worked at the same place as H and I got my bff a job there too. We also have other good "work friends" so it's well-known if we got a promotion, etc and it's common knowledge what our general income is. But we don't talk about it. Why would we?
H works in the financial industry and we are both pretty educated on investing, etc. so we wouldn't go to friends for advice on that. I don't think the cost of home repair or groceries has ever come up with friends, either. (Maybe- "hey xyz is on sale at abc store this week!" but I don't consider that personal finances) My dad is a contractor and I do most home repairs myself or with his help. If we need a plumber or something I can't do, we go through my dad. My son is only 11 mos and I haven't started to talk about preschool costs yet.
My group of friends is pretty close and open. No one is too sensitive or opinionated and it wouldn't be "rude" to talk about any of these things. I guess we just don't. It wouldn't be entertaining or fulfilling for me to talk about things like religion with a group of friends. If we agree, great. If not, no one is changing their mind. What's the point? KWIM? We'd rather talk about other things, I guess?
I don't talk politics with my closest friends because half of them are on the opposite end of the spectrum than myself. I'm not changing my views, and they aren't changing theirs. Debating, even if it kept civil, is not enjoyable to me.
We also don't discuss our opinions about things like staying at home or working, breast or bottle, discipline. Again, that is because we are all so different in what we choose.
I like being great friends with people who think nothing like me. Keeps me on my toes.: )
Sex and personal finances only with a few very close friends.
Everything else is fair game. Politics and religion are some of the things we most enjoy talking about!
We usually stick to talking about daily happenings, mutual friends, careers, husbands, children, TV, movies, celeb gossip, food, extended family matters, home projects, travel...I could probably go on, but you get the picture. My friends and I all met each other in 8th grade, so there is quite a bit of history between us.
I agree with NowaBaby. It's actually somewhat ironic, I am more likely to discuss politics with friends specifically because my husband loves to debate. He enjoys playing devil's advocate which annoys me to no end.
I avoid religion with individuals who do not share similar beliefs to mine, as I don't want to get into an emotional argument, although I will ask questions to help me to understand their religion better.
Sex is similar to PP who said if they bring it up I'm game, but I usually don't go into specifics.
I do agree though, I feel like what do you talk about? I get low stress conversations, but that usually only takes up about 20% of my conversations with people. Plus I feel like the only way I will continue to grow as a person is to continuously challenge my beliefs by learning about others oppinions and why they believe what they believe.
Honestly, we just laugh. And joke a lot. We all went on a girls weekend to Chicago last summer, and my stomach was hurting when I got back from laughing so much. To me, that is what friends are for. And yes, you can cue the song, ha ha.
Let's be besties. How was it? What position? Is that baby out yet?
(I kid. PLEASE don't answer! hahah)
Agree with susanmosely - who do you talk about religion, politics, and sex with? That's what makes them my best friends.