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Everything hurts me

Count ChoculitisCount Choculitis member
in 3rd Trimester

Hi,

I've never posted on this board before, but I'm also fairly new to the 3rd trimester.  It seems like I was doing great until I hit 30 weeks... 

All of a sudden everything my husband says or does makes me cry. He was late to pick me up from the train station. I burst into tears.  I dropped a can of Sprite on the floor and it exploded. That also made me cry.  My stomach was upset this morning and it made us both late for work. That made me cry. I'm a f$#%ing mess. 

I just feel generally blue and scared about the future.  Even the excitement of having these two babies in less than two months is overshadowed by the anxiety of having to return to work and find a part-time sitter whose charge won't negate my entire salary.  I also feel like my husband is starting to get fed up with my sobbing and sporadic anger - and that puts in my head the anxious feeling that he's going to leave me. Which I know is crazy, because he understands that this is 99% hormone related.

Do I need to talk to someone in the mental health pursuasion? Or another mother to be? Or a minister? Or should I just ride this out?  Having to work full time and make a long commute into D.C. isn't helping my overall outlook. I'm not sure what will...

 
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Re: Everything hurts me

  • kdjuddkdjudd member
    First of all there is no reason to be ashamed for what you are feeling. Every woman handles pregnancy differently and between the hormones and stress that comes along with pregnancy it is completely normal to have ups and downs. If you feel overwhelmed or feel like you are having depression symptoms then I would talk to a doctor. The best thing you can do for your baby is to minimize stress and find healthy ways to cope with your emotions! There is no shame in reaching out for help! I hope you feel better soon!
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  • Perfect SonnetPerfect Sonnet member

    I understand where you're coming from regarding the anxiety about the future.  I also commute into DC from Vienna for work everyday and work full time.  I worry about how my husband and I are going to manage daycare with our long commutes.  It is also so expenesive in this area and our daily lives are already pretty stressful. Adding a baby to the mix, which originally seemed so far away, is going to be an adjustment.

    I think it is completely normal to feel this way.  I just keep reminding myself that it will work out.  It always does somehow.  Try not to put so much pressure on yourself and think about all the "what ifs" in your future.  Just take it one day at a time.  Also, when I find myself getting worked up over all the scary aspects of having a baby I try to fight with all the positive ones: what she will look like, seeing my husband with her, spending time together as a family, etc. 

    Good luck!


     

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  • tigerlove85tigerlove85 member
    I should have read your post before just posting mine! I feel the same exact way, all these little things set me off to a crying mess. This past month, it was beyond stressful situating my work schedule and daycare for after maternity leave. After an overreaction to laundry not getting done, I actually looked up my insurance provider directory for dr's to talk to about my stress level. I may just ride out the next 7 weeks, but believe me you are not alone. I can relate 100%.
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  • Angelfish82Angelfish82
    Don't worry, what you are going through is (unfortunately) totally normal. I also cry at the drop of a hat and I've just chalked it up to hormones. That said, if you are having a lot of anxiety about how to balance everything once the baby comes (which again, is totally normal), you may want to see a therapist just to have someone to talk things over with. I've been in therapy for about eight years now and I'm positive its helped me with my hormonal ups and downs. Going to therapy doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means you want to feel better. And who doesn't want that.
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  • corrado2corrado2 member
    I think that your feelings are totally understandable.  It is really hard sometimes to manage the crazy changes happening within our bodies, lives, and maintain sanity about the future.  I think that given how you are feeling it might really help you to talk to a therapist or someone totally independent from the situation.  I mirror Angelfish in saying, this DOES NOT mean that you are off base or crazy, but it might help you learn coping strategies to deal with this stress.  Sometimes, even though friends and family are great, it is helpful to talk to someone totally independent.  I would definitely do it, and think of it as something you are doing to better yourself.
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  • Count ChoculitisCount Choculitis member
    Thanks, all.  I feel a lot better reading your very thoughtful and empathetic posts. But at the same time, I get your point that reading online message forums might not be enough.  We all know how quickly even the best encouragement wears off.... So what I'm probably going to do is go see a licensed professional counselor I used to go to way back when.  Back in my still-angst-ridden early 20's.  Y'all are awesome - and again - thank you!
     
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  • jenbelsanjenbelsan

    Perfect Sonnet-I work in Vienna, and if you don't mind me asking, where are you going for daycare?  I'm a FTM, and we are looking at 'your child's place' on 123, but if you have any recommendations, I would very much appreciate it!  

    And I am so with all the PPs, it's a constant state of tears about everything these days! 

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  • Perfect SonnetPerfect Sonnet member
    imagejenbelsan:

    Perfect Sonnet-I work in Vienna, and if you don't mind me asking, where are you going for daycare?  I'm a FTM, and we are looking at 'your child's place' on 123, but if you have any recommendations, I would very much appreciate it!  

    And I am so with all the PPs, it's a constant state of tears about everything these days! 

    I wish I could help.  We are looking more at home daycare options since they tend to be cheaper, but everything we have looked at so far has rubbed me the wrong way.  I am looking into the Infant Toddler Daycare system though.  It is an organization for certified daycares to be a part of, so we are hoping it will have some viable option we can narrow down our search to.  I know they're home daycares in it, but not sure about centers. 

    Good luck to you!  Daycare seraching in the NOVA / DC is noooo fun.


     

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