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Update #2

hterry85hterry85 member
in Blended Families

DH did call the superintendent yesterday morning and leave a message, he got a voicemail back simply saying he got his DHs message. By the time DH called back the office was closed. He will try again this morning, but it sounds like it's going to be a lot of phone tag.

He also talked to BM about it last night. At first she tried to say that SS is embarrassed to have two last names. Complete BS. I think what she really means is she is embarrassed! He doesn't flinch saying his name. If he is meeting somone for the first time and they ask his name he also tells them his full last name, that is not a child that's embarrassed by it.

Then she tried to say he was acting embarrassed because it takes him longer to write his name everyday that the other kids. She claims since SS knows what his name is, and knows how to spell it, we should just make it easier for him now and only make him write one. DH pointed out to her that if we're only worried about making it easier for SS why not have him write our last name only, since it's one letter shorter?? She didn't respond to that.

I'd also like to know...if SS was the slowest kid in the class in counting, but he DID know all of his numbers, would they just stop teaching them to him so he wouldn't have to be the slowest anymore? Some peoples attempt at logic just baffles me.

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Re: Update #2

  • socloudy99socloudy99 member

    IDK why BM wouldn't figure out her flimsy reasoning for supporting the one name before your DH called.

    There are tough things for kids being in a BF but this is a case of people making something tough that is perfectly normal for SS. What jerks!

    Tell your H to stay stong and keep making the calls. If he doesn't get any answers in a couple weeks maybe the local new would be interested in the story. GL!

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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member
    imagesocloudy99:

    Tell your H to stay stong and keep making the calls. If he doesn't get any answers in a couple weeks maybe the local new would be interested in the story. GL!

    Oh, please don't do that to your son.

    I'm sorry the school was such a PITA, but hopefully the superintendant's office can provide some help.

    Is your DH going to write a letter?  Sometimes when the problem is written out it can be easier to follow and respond appropriately.  I'd write a letter to the superintendant and cc the principal or vice versa.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • TasheystarTasheystar

    If you don't get an answer from the superintendant, I would go straight to the director of education at your school board's office. I'm not sure how the schools are set up down there, but up here, all the superintendants answer to the Director of Education.

    I like the idea of getting the media involved because it would probably help the problem get solved quickly. However, it may not be the best thing for your SS.

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  • hterry85hterry85 member

    imageTasheystar:

    I like the idea of getting the media involved because it would probably help the problem get solved quickly. However, it may not be the best thing for your SS.

    DH is heavily invloved (and currently running for) in local politics. Getting the media involved would immediately turn the entire thing political and stray far from the actual issue at hand. It would do more harm than good for everyone.

    If the phone tag goes on for too long I'm sure he will send an email to the superintendent. DH wants to know his stance on this before we meet with the lawyer on Wednesday.

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  • CheerileeCheerilee member
    Superintendents are incredibly busy. Usually an email will get to them faster than a phone call. He may write something like "I'd like to discuss this prior to meeting with our lawyer on Wednesday" in the email. That gives him a timeline. Also, if it has to go that far, contact the school board via email. They are generally in charge of the superintendent's contract. If you go that far, make sure you say you've made X number of attempts to discuss this with the principal and superintendent without a response or solution - regardless of your CO and the board policy.
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  • juliettoddjuliettodd

    imagehterry85:
     She claims since SS knows what his name is, and knows how to spell it, we should just make it easier for him now and only make him write one. DH pointed out to her that if we're only worried about making it easier for SS why not have him write our last name only, since it's one letter shorter?? She didn't respond to that.

    Good for your DH!  Love this!  She doesn't give a hoot if it is easier for SS.  This is a control/possession issue for her.  Your DH used her reasoning to make an articulate and intelligent counter argument.  She didn't respond?  Lol - no surprise there, I'm sure she was speechless.  He nailed her using her very own brand of BS.

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  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member

    so she admitted that she went to the principal and had the principal talk to the teacher? heres my thoughts....

    1st. I call contempt on BM.  its in the recent CO of what his name is and his most recent birth certificate. if she had an issue she should have approached DH first.

    2nd.  why would the principal just be like "oh yeah, BM, great idea, we should totally shorten his name even though every paper I have from the courts in regards to this situation has SS HYPHENATEDLASTNAME."

    3rd.  when BM approached the principal about changing the name, doesn't the principal need to discuss this with DH as well before making any sort of changes?

    4th.  why the sob story to the teacher from the principal about the other student etc etc. why not just tell the teacher "I spoke to BM, we need to use BMLASTNAME now when teaching SS"

    these are the things I would want answers to if I were you.  too much conflicting information. 

    since it looks like this might carry on for a while, I would have DH get in touch with the teacher. bring in the recent copy of paperwork/ birth certificate.  have DH explain he is dealing with the principal and superintendent, but until something is LEGALLY changed, she is required to help SS learn his entire name. 

    yeah, the principal and superintendent might get mad he 'went behind their backs' but maybe it will make them hurry up and respond to dh

                           
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  • DandelionMomDandelionMom
    I was just lurking but this situation is so ridiculous I had to chime in!  My kids have  hyphenated names and we've never had an issue like this!  When the teacher needs to shorten their names she simply uses their two last initials like Suzy Smith-Jones would be Suzy S-J.   
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  • +j+k++j+k+
    I wouldn't waste time on calls, I'd show up at the Principal's office in person Monday morning.  And if you get re-buffed,  then he first words out of my mouth would be that you are headed to the Superintendent's next.
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