First time alone....Scared!

bhession · March 2012

My husband is going to London tomorrow on business for 10 days. Is it weird that I feel nervous about being by myself with DD? He is such a help to me, and I've never spent that much time on my own with the baby. My mom, who only lives 30 minutes away, is planning to come stay a few nights, and I will be working during the day...but I still feel anxious.

I'm sure that many of you have husbands that travel, did you feel nervous the first time? What did you do to get through on your own? I can't even begin to imagine being a single mom.

LilyRose28 · March 2012

DH travels a lot. I wasn't nervous when it came to caring for DS. The only thing I'm ever nervous about is something happening and him being far away. My family is about 1.5 hours away so they could get here fairly quickly if need be. Honestly, I think things run smoothly without him here messing up my routine and my bathroom. heh

hopkins5 · March 2012

SO is away for work from Mon-Thurs or Fri every week. He has been since before DD was born. You can do it. It'll be good for both of you. When LO goes to bed, pour yourself a glass of wine and stretch out in bed, and take all the pillows. Enjoy yourself!

bhession · March 2012

Thank-you guys so much for the encouragement. I do realize how lucky I am, but also know that I will be fine. I suffer from some anxiety, which I don't think helps...this summer I had a terrible bout of PP OCD, which was torture...I didn't trust myself around my baby AT ALL! I've certainly come a long way since then, but this is the first time I've really been on my own with her, so I think I'm just over anxious.

I definitely plan to have plenty of wine on hand, and with the season finale of The Bachelor (Ben is so gross and totally deserves Courtney), the new show "GCB", and Modern Family, I'll be good to go! I might even have to swing through the McD's drive thru for a quarter pounder and a shamrock shake....livin on the edge, right!?

Again, thanks for the encouragement. I totally agree that this will probably be a great thing as far as building my confidence!

rosesandpeonies · March 2012

I do it with two...Im sure you will be fine with one...plus I don't get any extra hands and I don't go to work so I never get a break...you will be fine

I get overwhelmed...but it is what it is. I have no family around at all...so I just hired a babysitter for when my husband is away to give me a few hours to myself to keep my sanity!.

amykins1283 · March 2012

The first time DH started back traveling after Liam was born was when he was only 5 weeks old. I was TERRIFIED. My mom came over and spent the night one night and thank goodness because Liam spent most of that night crying so we were able to take shifts.

Now that we are used to it things go really smoothly. I have a routine where I leave Liam at daycare a couple of extra hours twice a week to get stuff done around the house and get my workout in and the other two days I take Liam to the park or out to eat or something else fun after work. If he has to travel over a weekend (fairly rare but it happens) I try to make plans for Liam and I to visit with my best friends or with my parents so that I get some adult time in as well.

It's tough but I've gotten used to it and Liam and I have a good time doing what we want.

SecondTimeinMSU · March 2012

DH doesn't have the type of job to normally travel but he just got home yesterday from a trip to China for work. I think I would've been more nervous at only a couple months old but at close to a year I felt like I was pretty in the groove. DH usually leaves for work earlier than me so the workdays really didn't feel any different since I am used to doing everything on my own to get him ready for daycare.

To make life easier I did create a meal plan for the time he was gone so I could make some easier meals (crockpot, stuff that makes enough for leftovers, etc).

Really the only thing I missed was my sounding board...... DS is on his hunger strike at daycare, my mom is the least helpful person for advice and my sister is gone on vacation so I didn't really have anyone to talk to since DH couldn't call or email.

lildevil968 · March 2012

My DH travels as well. He is gone for a month, and then back for 2 weeks. We have been doing this since DS was about 3 months old. At first I was nervous because I had 2 kids to take care of on my own, and working full time. After about 3 days we finally got a routine down, and it was pretty easy after that. Now it's a piece of cake when he leaves, and we have a hard time adjusting to him being home when he is.

ChunkyMunkey · March 2012

I'm a single mommy and have been for the last 6 months. XH is in jail so I get NO breaks. Honestly......it's not as hard as you fear. Especially at this age. XH was also in jail the first month of my son's life. Now THAT was tough to be alone. But they have such a set schedule at this age that you really shouldn't be too worried. You're going to do wonderfully. And a lot of people tell me "you're scared and that's good, it means you're a good mother". Just keep that in mind.

Haven1 · March 2012

Inkogneetoh:

I can't wait for June when my H has to go for his NG annual 2 weeks. How effin awful is that? I can scrub my house, and it will STAY CLEAN! And then drink wine while I watch my shows after C goes to bed. Oh June...

ETA: Take advantage and see if your mom will mind if you go out by yourself for a little bit one night. Get a drink, read a book, do something for you.

All this. It was hard in the beginning when they couldn't do anything for themselves. Now it's so much easier. They can follow instructions, feed themselves, bring me things, and walk where ever I need them to go. You'll do great!

BeerBeck · March 2012

Although it can be a little intimidating at first, I think you will find that you find your groove quite quickly and, in actual fact, the difficult part is adjusting to having your husband back home and not doing everything just the way you like it. (At least, that is how it is for me.)

AmericanInOz · March 2012

my dh is leaving next week for a 3 week business trip, I told him the only thing I expect him to do is text me every day so that SOMEONE is checking I'm alive! I don't have any family here, although SIL does talk to me nearly every day.

Honestly I do most of it myself anyway, because dh works such long hours. You just get used to it, and its kind of a nice change when dh is away - you can go to bed when you want, take a long bath - just relax. You'll be ok - you can do it!

fancynewbeesly · March 2012

We have done overnights. (Both of us alone) Nothing longer than 2 nights though. I am was more of a wreck than my husband, with good reason. We were robbed earlier in the year--so this was the first time I was by myself alone. I swear I had every light on in the house. Plus, I don't drive so I was worried about what to do with an emergency.

pesci12 · March 2012

I have sooo much respect for single parents. I think it's normal to be nervous at first. DH is in the military and has been deployed for several months now. I would be lying if I said it is easy, but once you get into a routine and stay busy it will go by faster.

rodiesmum · March 2012

interestingly, i sometimes feel a sigh of relief when dh goes away for a day or two, because ill have a break from my "eldest child" lol

kah01009 · March 2012

Your feelings are so normal! DH is a resident and hardly here (I remember he went away for 4 days while doing residency program interviews when DD was 6 weeks old. of course, the very first night he was away, she started this brand-new gagging thing whenever put down. all. night. all. She was getting a cold (so little for a cold, which DH gave her before he left. oyy). her first cold and all alone. fun times. I think I just stared at her all night to make sure she was breathing!), and I can still relate to what you're saying! I'm used to it, and I still get anxious on mornings when he works 14-hr days. I'm not afraid I can't handle things, I'm just experienced enough to know it isn't easy. You'll do fine, and just remember that it's temporary.

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