IF really sucks

Ambie0611 · March 2012

Ok, I have to vent and whine and moan for a minute.

IF really Sucks. It sucked 6 years ago when we where first diagnosed and it has sucked every single day since. At work, a girl is set to give birth next week so her last day is tomorrow and all anyone can talk about was "well my baby weighed this when I gave birth" or "did you feel her drop yet" and blah blah blah blah blah.

I smile and laugh and feel her stomach when she tells me the baby is kicking. But all I really want to do is go to the bathroom and cry.

Ok so today I am a bitter, old, infertile lady - Hold Me. Embarrassed

Cissi64 · March 2012

Been there, done that. It still hurts me some even though I have adopted 3 and finally gave birth to one. I'm sure my losses have contributed to the bitter.

{{{HUGS}}}!

bumpuser794640 · March 2012

I know what you mean. ((hugs)) One of my good friends just told me she's pregnant last night, and it still stings a little. I'm mostly jealous of the fact that she gets to experience pregnancy, since I likely never will. I'm not quite done mourning that loss yet.

WaitingforGrace · March 2012

I gave birth to two babies after years of infertility, a tramatic pregnancy, a tramatic birth and a month long NICU stay. I still want to go in the bathroom and cry when pregnant people in my office seem to have all this joy and not a care in the world. I want to shake them and scream in their face about how lucky they are and they don't know what could have been.

What I usually do is pray that I am thankful that they never had to experience the things I did and that if my going through it spared other people going through it then ask God to continue to give me strength to go through it.

I don't know your story, but I am praying for your little one to find you soon

Art Teacher · March 2012

I'm sorry. Big hugs from me.

I just met my newest little baby cousin last week. His mother kept saying how she's "great at birthin' babies..." Ugh. I wanted to cry. She knows that we have infertility issues. Comments like that still sting.

Sorry it's so hard.

lafayettegirl · March 2012

With you sister. It does suck and I'm not sure the sorrow ever truly goes away. It changes you down to your core. But, much like the death of someone you love, it hurts a little less every day. But there are days, like Sunday when I helped a very pregnant friend and her boyfriend move into her new place, when my heart breaks all over again and I hurt down to my toes. The one thing that keeps me going is that there is so much good in my life. Even though we all often forget, there are things going right in our lives. We've got to focus on those to get us through the rotten stuff.

It also helps me to look around at my friends and realize that many of them do not have the strength and grace to get through something like this and DH and I do. To have that strength is a true blessing, even though I hate it sometimes.

inlovewithB · March 2012

I know what you mean! I ended up quitting my job (2 years ago), because the office was FILLED with fertile myrtle's who couldn't understand the pain I was experiencing. I was spending so much time crying that it just didn't make sense to keep torturing myself.

Even now (as a Mom to a perfect baby girl) the pregnancy announcements bring up this ugly feeling of jealousy and I just wish I could "let it go".

Ambie0611 · March 2012

Thank you guys so much! I honestly appreciate each and every one of you and just teared up at the thoughtfullness of you. I am so happy (well, not really but you know what I mean) that there are people and couples who understand the frustration of feeling broken inside. I know that we will be blessed with our little bundle of joy one day. I just have to stay patient and know that this is what God has in store for me. But like other posters said, sometimes it is really hard and I break down.

Thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart. I am glad that I can share without getting the sad head tilt and the look of shame for crying about someone else's happiness.

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