Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

Update #1

hterry85hterry85 member
in Blended Families

My jaw is still on the floor...DH just got off the phone with the principal.

He told DH he understands (BS) But this is between DH and BMs lawyers. He said they had a case like this a few years ago that went to court and the judge decided that since the child primarily lived with the mother the decision went to her. Ok,. maybe the judge ended up siding with the mother on whatever the issue is, but the child living with her does not take away the fathers rights.

DH got off the phone with me saying he was going to call the superintendent next, but then he called right back and asked me to look up the number to his old lawyers office, so my guess is he is calling there first.

I'll keep you updated...

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: Update #1

  • hterry85hterry85 member
    On a slightly separate note, he did call his old lawyers office (we have an appt Wed afternoon) and found out the his old lawyer passed away recently (again, he left about a year ago for medical reasons) DH was pretty close with his as this was the lawyer his grandparents used to get custody of him when he was a teen. Could this day get any worse???
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • CurlyQ284CurlyQ284 member
    Oh how awful.  Im sorry :(
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • juliettoddjuliettodd

    Did your DH tell the principal that a judge ALREADY decided this when he wrote it into the CO that is on file at the school?  I am frustrated for you guys.  What a piece of work.

    Report Reply
  • J&A2008J&A2008 member

    I would put a call in to the superintendant's office ASAP and explain that the principal is refusing to honor the court order.

    The principal is not king of his own island with the freedom to disregard court orders as he wishes.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
    Report Reply
  • hterry85hterry85 member
    imageJ&A2008:

    I would put a call in to the superintendant's office ASAP and explain that the principal is refusing to honor the court order.

    The principal is not king of his own island with the freedom to disregard court orders as he wishes.

    DH had to start work, but he is going to call over his lunch break. We have already printed off Iowa's definition of custody/joint custody (which of course specifically mentions education) as well as the section from the school board handbook about not taking sides on custodial issues and enforcing the most current CO.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member

    This principal is an idiot. If Blended Families knows one thing for sure it's that NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL! For him to have had a "similiar" case in the past means NOTHING NADA!  That was that case, this is yours. There should be NO question since it is the child's legal name. If BM threw a fit and caused commotion then she should have been sent away and refered to her lawyer by the school to make appropriate changes.

     IDIOTS!!! OMG and they are teaching our children. SMH!!

     

    Report Reply
  • hterry85hterry85 member
    imageHopeforthebest:

    This principal is an idiot. If Blended Families knows one thing for sure it's that NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL! For him to have had a "similiar" case in the past means NOTHING NADA!  That was that case, this is yours. There should be NO question since it is the child's legal name. If BM threw a fit and caused commotion then she should have been sent away and refered to her lawyer by the school to make appropriate changes.

     IDIOTS!!! OMG and they are teaching our children. SMH!!

     

    Tell me about it! In a perfect world (you know, the kind where courts don't highly favor BM) we would seriously be fighting for primary care/him to go to school here, because this school is clearly not blended family friendly.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • hterry85hterry85 member
    imagewendilea:

    OMG I forgot you were in Iowa.  This is the same state where a principal took BM1's word that DH was DEAD.  You don't happen to be near Baxter?

    Please KUP after your DH talks to the Superintendent.  That's all it took for us to get things shaken up in that  backasswords state.  I am plenty pissed for you.  the name is ON the damn birth certificate, that is the name he needs to use.  I would take BM to court for contempt for causing this stink as well.

    Nope, I don't even know where Baxter is. They're all the way on the eastern boarder of the state (well, about 30 min in) and we're in IL.

    What is KUP?

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • hterry85hterry85 member
    imagewendilea:

    KUP = Keep Us Posted.  Iowa is such a mom-friendly state it's sickening. 

    Baxter is not far from Des Moines - so it's pretty central.  But it's a tiny little town and the Principal thinks he is God.  Luckily, they have an AMAZING guidance counselor who talks to DH almost weekly now.

    lol I thought it was some legal term or something! A couple hours away, but they do sound like pretty similar towns. I guess that's a lot of what you get in small town Iowa!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    This whole thing is ridiculous. But, I know some school districts don't even think about NCP's.

    Our school district does not even have a spot on the registration forms for DD's dad. Their form states to list parental figures in the child's home then it specifically says "DO NOT list any parents that do not live in the child's home". It says mom/stepmom and dad/stepdad. Every year I put DH and I down and then write in below that her father's name as dad, because our CO state I need to list him on the paperwork and I don't ever want to be accused of not listing him even though the school form doesn't want him listed and he never actually goes to her school. Luckily, my SKs' school district is more NCP friendly because we are involved in their school. Their forms have spots for 2 sets of parents.

    I don't see how they have any ground to stand on though but not allowing him to learn his legal name.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

    Report Reply
  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member
    mm yep I think I would throw a contempt charge at BM too, purely for the aggrivation, and clearly it upset SS!!!!
                           
                         View Full Size Image  View Full Size Image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    Can the school/principal be held in contempt?  If it is their written policy not to interfere in matters of custody, and they aren't following the CO, it seems like there should be a way to go after them legally.

    If not I'd sue him personally for pain and suffering he caused your SS.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
    Report Reply
  • roycie27roycie27 member
    I have a guy friend with a hyphenated last name. It's his mother's maiden name and his father's name. His parents have been married decades. His mother never changed her name. Would the school force a kid in this situation to choose one name or the other? I assume not, yet they'd have the children with divorced/unmarried parents choose? This is insane. IT'S HIS LEGAL NAME! I'm pretty positive banks, the DMV, the IRS will require his full legal name on future documents. But the school? Eh, whatever!
    3 girls, ages 7, 3, and 1. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • TasheystarTasheystar

    I mentioned this in the previous post, but my DS couldn't change to his new without the proper paperwork. His legal name (let's say Smith) had to stay Smith until I brought in the paperwork to change it.

    Since your SS was already registered under the combined name, wouldn't it take extra paperwork for them to change it?? I don't get it!?!?!?!

    I'm soooo frustrated for you. Grrrr!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • +j+k++j+k+
    imagebunnyfungo:
    imagewendilea:

    After my first trip to Iowa during which my DH decided to take me to every.single.Deere.dearlership he'd ever worked at in the state, I turned to him and said two things:

    "Is there anything in Iowa besides corn fields, cemeteries,  and John Deere dealerships?" and

    "It's just so wrong - the sun sets into the dirt."

    My opinion of Iowa has not improved since that trip.

    This seriously made me LOL. I live in Nebraska and the rest of my family lives in IL so we have to drive through IA to see each other. We refer to it as the "black hole" lol.

    This is making me laugh. FIrst of all, I don't take it personal at all. I happen to love Iowa for many reasons and hate Texas for the same reasons you hate Iowa. It's all relative in my opinion. 

    bunnyfungo - I giggle at your comment because many Iowan's dread driving thru Nebraska. I used to drive it every other month all the way to Cheyenne for almost 4 years and I learned to love the drive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I try to find it when I drive thru there and Kansas for that matter Wendilea!

    Wendilea - I know where Baxter is. Been there. It's not exactly the prize of the state.  If you need someone to kick anyone's ass, let me know. I probably know people who know them. LOL!

    hterry - I'm going to have to go back and read. I missed the original post but I'm sorry you're going thru this. It's obviously not right from what I understand.  I hope your DH fights like hell and wins.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"