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Pre-School and Daycare
NJLH
member
My 3 year old girls are not PT
NJLH
member
I'm at a loss what to do (they're 3 yrs, 4 mos). I actually havent worked much with 1 DD because of her severe constipation. But the other one is so stubborn. This is the 3rd time I've stayed in a weekend and put her in underwear. She's very content sitting in wet undies. She will never tell me if she has to go. My house is filled with rewards and gifts I've been dangling in her face, but nothing. She'll announce "I hate the potty...I'm wearing diapers the rest of my life." I believe her. It hasnt helped that we've been sick so much this winter that it just sets everyone back. The only thing I havent tried is having her run around naked. Should I try that? Any other ideas? I know a lot of it is my fault for not staying home days in a row but that's just tough to do with 2 of them.
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Re: My 3 year old girls are not PT
Hi there! Lurker from school aged board.
My two kids were pt at very different ages, and they went about it in very different ways. However, both had bumps in the road that were frustrating. My kids both went through a phase where they were more interested in rebelling against what Mommy wanted than in taking the step of using the potty. The more I showed I cared, the harder I worked to try to convince them, the more reason it gave them to NOT use the potty. I get the feeling from your post that this might be where your kids are. The fact that she's telling you that she'll wear diapers for the rest of her life seems like the words of a smart kid who has calculated exactly what words to say to freak mom out the most. It's working, isn't it!?
With both my kids, I found it helpful to remember that no one goes to kindergarten in pull ups. They WILL start using the potty, and probably very soon. I also used this little speech:
"Sweet pea, it's your body, your pee, and your poop. You can make your pee and poop wherever you want. But just know that all children eventually make all their pee and poop in the potty every single time. Daddy and I are ready to help you with this when you are ready. BUT... it's your decision. If you want to pee in the potty, you let me know. I'll ask you about it sometimes, but it's really your decision."
Then let it be for a few weeks. Pretend you don't care, especially if you think that they are resisting out of a desire to rebel against your authority. Trust that their natural desire to master this part of growing up will carry the day. I really felt that there were times when my desire to get my kids trained actually interfered with what would have happened naturally, especially with my DD, who was incredibly stubborn.
GL!
I could have written this exact same thing except I only have one.
***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***
We actually *just* did 3-day PT this past weekend. I'd done some 'practice sessions' in underwear following the book Potty Training Boys the Easy Way from November on. I knew Will was ready but wasn't sure about Alex--he seemed resistant to the whole idea--but it went surprisingly well. If I were you I'd take a month off (don't even bring up going potty in that month) and then try 3 Day PT but make sure you have help!! She talks a lot in there about how to overcome stubbornness and resistance. My boys were content to hang out in wet undies before too but with 3 Day PT, you stay with them at all times for 3 days (while they're awake) and as soon as you realize they're about to/starting to pee or poop, you scoop them up and take them to the potty.
It's definitely crazy with two but can be done. DH was with me Friday and Saturday but on Sunday he had to work a 14-hr day so I was on my own with them. It worked out OK. The boys and I stayed home all 3 days.