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Inappropriate and embarrassing comments in public

mags507mags507 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

I need ideas on how to handle the comments from my DD about other people in public.  She isn't intentionally being rude or mean but she voices her observations and it can get embarrassing.

Example: "Hey mama, look at that old lady."

Example2: "What's that boy doing?" (it was a woman with short hair)

We are working on the concept of not pointing at others but I don't know how to talk to her about the comments. 

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Re: Inappropriate and embarrassing comments in public

  • LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member

    In the case of "old" I would just exuberantly say, "I think the lady has pretty hair."  Or "I wonder if she her toothbrush is green, or orange, what do you think?"   It's a little early to give her the power of that one little word- LOL!  If the old lady hadn't heard, I might curiously say to  her, "Why?"  And have her explain what is grabbing her attention.

    And in the case of the she-boy, treat it like you would any other informational error.  She calls a hammer a a wrench, you say "Well it is a tool like a wrench, but it's a hammers are for pounding nails into something."  So I would say "That is a lady with a short haircut.  She's putting her cart away." 

    Most people forget how language develops and may be a little put out, but your daughter is doing nothing more thatn categorizing the world around her (which is HUGE) with her language (Which is still rapidly growing).  It's like playing tetris on high speed.  Treat it like that- simple information seeking, and focus on the information she's seeking. 

    I used to work with kids with autism, and take them into the community, teach them to ride the city bus/navigate the metro system, etc.  And I had one blurt out "He is holding HIS hand!"  So proud that he got his pronouns right- he had no idea that some people have opinions about that.  I freaked, but simply said "because they love eachother."  And that was that.  When my kids embarass me like that I think back to that and breathe deeply!

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  • LSU628LSU628 member
    When DD was first learnig colors, she liked to point out and label all the different things she would see. That's fine when it is a green pepper, yellow banana, etc, but when she pointed at a man in the store and yelled "Black!" I cringed. She didn't mean any harm, and was proud of herself for recognizing a color, but I don't think the man appreciated her enthusiasm.
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  • LSU628LSU628 member
    Whoops, posted before I was done..........its' going to happen. Our  kids are all going to say things that embarrass us or seem inappropriate. I remember some other bumpie posting about her kid telling hte pharmacist that he had a big penis. I think just answering questions, redirecting when necessary, and then having the conversation as they get older about not pointing out others' differences (whether gender, race, religion, disabilities, etc) and discussing that we are all people with feelings.
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  • mavs_girl07mavs_girl07 member
    I agree with pp's and think they all gave great advice.  DD hasn't noticed or mentioned any differences in skin color.  It's kind of funny, though, because a few months ago DD was looking out our front door and she said "Mommy!!!  There's a black boy riding his bike!!"  I was in another room and said "Oh, he is?  How fun!" but inside it really struck me as odd.  I had never heard her label someone like that before, we don't ever label anyone as "black" or any other color, the only thing I could come up with is maybe she heard something like that at school?  Well, later we were outside playing and a little white boy in a black t-shirt came riding by on his bike, and she said "See!  There goes the black boy riding his bike!"  She was talking about the color of his shirt!!!  She didn't even notice the color of his skin, but was only labeling him by the color of his shirt.  She did the same thing a few days later.  We were riding in the car and saw a man in his driveway.  She said, "Mommy, what's that white man doing?"  Again, it struck me as odd because I was like "White man...why on earth would she think to label him like that?  We don't talk that way..."  But then I looked, and it was a Hispanic man wearing a white shirt, lol.   She's done that several times since then, "The red girl" for a girl wearing a red shirt, "the yellow lady" for a woman wearing yellow.  Anyway, I just thought it was a funny story Smile
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