- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Two Under 2
catdwg83
member
Anyone do 2u2 with NO help?
catdwg83
member
in Two Under 2
Hey everyone,
When this baby is born, DS will be about 20m old. We're moving overseas when I'm about 20w, & no family will be there to help us out. MH is also military & is probably going to be deployed for 6 months soon after we get there, missing the birth & however many of the first few months of 2u2.
I'm thinking of hiring a nanny as soon as we move, so DS can get used to another caregiver who can be with him while I give birth & afterward because I'll probably be too exhausted to run around with him all day & be up all night nursing the baby. Truthfully, maybe 2 nannies in case something happens & I need to be in the hospital a little longer or something, but the 1 nanny can't take him that long.
Has anyone survived something like this? Any tips that I might find useful? Does anyone have any alternative solutions? I'm going to post on the military board when I get closer to the move so I'll have more details as to when/where & all that because I only have a rough idea now.
DS1- Jan 2011
DS2- Sept 2012
M/C- Sept 2011
2u2!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone do 2u2 with NO help?
Not exactly the same situation...
My DH is also military. He was here for our son's birth (our kids are 16 months apart) but was gone about 8 months of his first year. I don't have family in town (though, my mom is only 4 hours away).
I didn't have a nanny or anything like that. I have a few sitters and made sure I had some regular help during the deployment. My mom also came and helped over the summer last year (DH was deployed, she is a teacher so came during her time off). I also have a cleaning lady that comes every other week.
You do what you need to do to get by. I think having caregivers is a smart idea so that you can get out of the house alone and get a breather every once in awhile. I'm not sure you "need" someone with you full time, but that is up to you and your husband and your budget and what you prefer.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
Where will you be living? In your situation I would definitely get a nanny. I don't think you need 2 nannies (I'm sure your nanny would be flexible around the birth and hopefully you will have met some other Moms who could be a back-up for the nanny). Could a family member come and stay with you around the time of the birth? I'm not same situation but my DH travels a lot for work, and like you my two will be 20 months apart. I am considering getting an au pair (the equivalent of a part-time mother's help); the au pair isn't qualifed so wouldn't be sole charge of either kid, more of an extra pair of hands (but considerably cheaper than a nanny where I live). My Mom is flying over from the US (we live in London) two weeks before my due date and staying for a month- so hopefully she'll be here for the birth.
My situation isn't quite the same. DH is gone a lot for work, and we have no family close by. So no breaks for us. I really think getting a nanny would be in your favor, because you're going to need the help during recovery. And 2u2 can sure be a handful, and there are times when you just need a break.
I also agree that introducing them in to your older child's life as soon as you can will help make the transition a lot smoother. Best of luck, and feel free to PM anytime.
Also- Skype, if you don't have it already. It's a wonderful way to keep in touch with family. : )
Dh works on a rig for 21 days and then comes home for 21 days. I have no family here, my parents are in NY (im in sc) and my in lawas are in FL. My sister moved an hour away from me when DD was 2 months old...BUT she has 3 kids and its a hike to get where I am from her. She is there in emergencies, but honestly I have friends that are closer and more able to help (heck some know my kids better than their aunt does). I surrounded myself with great friends and learned to say yes when they offered help. When she was 6 months I finally sprang for a housecleaner once a month to help a bit.
IN your situation I would definitely consider childcare of some kind, whether it be a center that does drops offs, another mom who wants to make some extra $ and care for your son, or a sitter/nanny. I wouldnt commit to 2 nanies, or even a full time one until you are mom of 2 though.
We have a sitter now that my kids are getting used to (our old one got married and moved away) and I am using her once a wk for 3 hrs. She is great so far, and the kids like her. We are slowly having her do more things like put them to bed etc. They are so used to me all the time that its hard. She is a local grad student so I know she will be here for at least 3 years so that stability is nice. I plan on using her weekly even when DH is home, and then when baby comes we have a plan for the kids to go with friends, and our sitter is the backup. It worked out great last time with our old sitter and my BF watching DS when I had DD so I know it will be fine this time.
Its overwhelming in the beginning, logisically its HARD, but once you get your groove you are fine. I was afriad of the unknowns, and it was easier once I was in it all.
Good luck, you'll do great.
I've never had any sort of childcare or help, so I threw the term "nanny" out when I really should have said sitter/helper. The mention of getting some cleaning help sounds awesome as well, so I'm probably going to look into that. Anyway, 10 years this year as a military wife. One as a military mom & MH hasn't deployed since he was badly injured in 2006. He's mostly been in the hospital or rehab until this assignment started 2 years ago, so getting back into military life with 2 babies & a deployable H kinda scares me at the moment.
If you can do it - you definitely should! At least try it out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having someone help you - especially if you are new to the area and pretty isolated - you never know how the birth and your recovery will go and how you will be feeling emotionally.