Grad School and having a baby

staceynrs · November 2008

Has anyone had a baby during grad school?

applecider · November 2008

I'm having one. Soon! lol

I'm 80% done with a science PhD program. The baby (our first) is due in about a month.

There are pros and cons. There is an expectation in my program that students will be passionate and dedicated and work 45-60 hours a week. But, I have incredible flexibility with my schedule at this stage and can set my hours. We decided it would be better to have a baby in graduate school in order to work uninterrupted during that important first year in my post-graduate school job.

The department has no official maternity leave policies in place though, so that's kind of a pain. I keep getting different answers as to how long I'm allowed to leave. I think it may come down to my advisor, who only took a month off... um nooooo. I'm not that dedicated.

marrymemylove · November 2008

I know people who did during law school (both in Australia and the US). In the US I think this is a good option as long as it isn't 1L (the intense year). From what I've seen 2L and 3L don't work much really, they think they do at the time but if you've ever worked in a real full time job you'll know different.

That said, even if your baby is 2 when you start work in the real world be prepared that you will never see them awake and your partner will effectively single parent. Are you prepared for that?

I honestly don't think most professional jobs are that different in the first year or so, they all expect 50+ hours a week.?

MaestraMama · November 2008

I am in grad school (finishing up last year) doing my internship with a baby. I am at my internship site 20 hours a week and go to class one night a week. I am finished with all my classes, though, so I have it a bit easier. No big papers to write, etc. Although, the time commitment is still tough with a baby. No doubt it would be easier w/ no baby, but I didn't want to wait another year and figured since this year is my internship year, it would be less of a load. I still struggle to juggle everything, though, and I can't imagine having to sit through regular classes, read and do papers/projects and worry about a baby, too, that would be too much for me.

shannm · November 2008

I think it depends on what type of grad school. Like PP, I have a science background. Like she said, they expect you to work a ton but the hours generally are flexible. Even now, as a postdoc (aka - slightly higher paid grad student) I am able to have a baby and make it work. DH position requires a much stricter schedule so it has actually helped us to have the flexibility lab work can provide. I still work the same amount of time but the hours can be shifted when necessary and I do a lot of catch up at night and on the weekends. While in grad school, I had two classmates take leaves to have babies and it all worked out for them as well.

mrshutch · November 2008

I was working full time and going to grad school at night when DD was born. But then I was on maternity leave, so I got to experience just having class at night for a few months. That was heaven b/c it was my time to get out of the house and even w/ the new baby, it seemed so much easier to find time to write papers, etc. as compared to when I was working. I think it works out just fine- you figure out how to balance things and work w/ DH to plan schedules and babysit.

madhatter2003 · November 2008

My DH is in his last year of his PhD and we are on #2. It's actually been great having a baby(ies) while he has been in grad school. It has delayed him some (he probably could have finished last year) but he has much more flexibility to stay home when DD is sick, etc. Right now he is writing his dissertation and works on that 3 days a week and keeps our DD home 2 days a week.

The hardest thing is him having to travel for conferences and research since he can sometimes be gone a month or more at a time, but we've managed so far.

Mrs_Lady · November 2008

thanks ladies- i love hearing stories of how everyone manages..

Baltibride · November 2008

I generally hang out on the multiples board, but I thought I would respond to your question. I decided to start grad school when my girls were 9 months old. I also work full time. It has been an adventure, requiring lots of scheduling and organization. In addition, I have received a lot of help and support from my DH. It hasn't been easy, but its been do-able. I will hopefully be graduating this spring with my ms in human resource development.

Good luck!

longhorngal · November 2008

i started a doc program after having a baby ...i have NEVER ever been more organized with my time!!!!!!!

dogmommy4now · November 2008

I am so happy I found this post!! This is exactly what I have been struggling with right now. H and I decided we wanted kids (not so sure early on) but now we both work full time and I am in a lock-step MBA program until June 2010 (2 years, every Saturday from 8am-5pm). All I can think about is babies and I want to just do it, but I feel like I will miss out on stuff being gone and studying that much. Is it fair to put that much on H too? I am trying to wait but 2010 seems so far away!!! Please let me know your thoughts....

BKM003S · November 2008

I too was in an MBA program when DH & I got our BFP.....I was really nervous how I was going to be able to handle it all at first, but I ended up taking a semester off while I've been home with DS. I go back to work next Monday and then will be starting classes again in February. It's going to be a lot (DS, work full-time and MBA) but I think we can handle it. I decided to drag the MBA thing out and just do 1 class per semester rather than 2 like I was before. I think that will lessen the stress and give me the time I need for DS.

It's really just a matter of determination whether or not you can make it work.

ATLmama · November 2008

Yep. ?I'm finishing up a PhD program in the social sciences now. ?Hadley was born after I'd finished coursework, exams, and the defense of my dissertation proposal. ?So all I have left to do is finish writing the dissertation. ?The most stressful part has been being on the academic job market with a baby which has required that I leave town for interviews a lot over the past couple months. ?Other than that, I don't think it's been much different than the things that all working parents deal with! ?Good luck to you!

ascbride · November 2008

I had a baby in July and am in my second year of a PhD program in education, just so happened to have had her when we didn't have classes and by the time class started up again in August, I was healed enough to go. It's hard, but with the help of DH it's been doable. I also have really supportive classmates, who were so helpful and supportive during my pregnancy and my first few weeks after having the baby. I also work full time.

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