Becoming numb about TTC, normal?

hungryhippo · March 2012

I am curious about whether any of you can relate to my current situation.

Is it kinda part of the pattern of being in TTCAL-land for a while that at some point you find you are feeling indifferent/numb about getting pregnant?

I'm on CD7 and didn't shed even a tiny tear about this last BFN/AF. But the cycle before that I was ugly crying daily for 3.5 weeks. I was barely functioning for almost an entire month because of my sadness about my losses and the fact that I was still unsuccessful in getting pregnant at that point.

I think it's really strange that in a matter of days, I went from such a dark, sad place to feeling indifferent about something I've been working towards for so long.

Is this just part of the TTCAL 6+ experience? Or perhaps a normal part of the TTC 1 year+ experience?

It's nice to have a break from wanting it so bad, but I'm not used to TTC in an environment where it isn't the single biggest focus in my life. Does anyone have any experience like this?

buckeyebaby814 · March 2012

I really find it comes in cycles. Around the same time we started up treatment cycles again, I felt overwhelmed starting the whole process again. Now, I feel like I'm in a better place just a few months later. I think as I get other things to look forward to or have to worry about, TTCAL takes a mental back seat.

::HUGS::

butterfly843 · March 2012

I used to get really upset when af arrived, but these last few cycles I haven't cried when she arrived at all. I think because at this point in my journey I just feel defeated and expect her to arrive.

VikingQueen · March 2012

I agree that it comes in cycles. ((hugs))

lavril · March 2012

Yeah, I agree it comes in waves. Sometimes I'm heartbroken, sometimes I'm numb, sometimes excited, sometimes indifferent. It can change by the day. (((HUGS)))

delino · March 2012

I agree with the others that it changes from day to day. Some days you can be so hopeful, some days completely and utterly hopeless.

KGS2003 · March 2012

lavril:
Yeah, I agree it comes in waves. Sometimes I'm heartbroken, sometimes I'm numb, sometimes excited, sometimes indifferent. It can change by the day. (((HUGS)))

Yes this exactly.

Kpsbabyzoe · March 2012

Yeah, I was starting to feel the same way last week...But then out the blue the sad, frustrated feeling will hit me like a truck. I think it comes and goes once you get to the 6+ experience.

hungryhippo · March 2012

butterfly843:
I used to get really upset when af arrived, but these last few cycles I haven't cried when she arrived at all. I think because at this point in my journey I just feel defeated and expect her to arrive.

I wondered if feeling defeated was part of it. Perhaps my extreme reaction last month was so extreme that I'm overcorrecting now. Maybe if I hadn't ft so defeated last month, maybe I'd still be able to want to get pregnant now.

((hugs)) I hate that you've been let down and for so long.

hungryhippo · March 2012

Thank you, everyone. I wish we could all get off this roller coaster. But I am glad to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. It's pretty weird.

shanrob · March 2012

I can totally relate. I think on some level, our psyche just won't let us be upset/sad All.The.Time. We have to handle more than most women do, and our minds just have to numb us out from time to time in order to maintain normalcy. It's really quite sad when ya think about it. And on that note, I will be hitting the wine tonight

Rawr08 · March 2012

I defiantly am numb when it comes to TTC. We are going on 2 years, and at this point we have given up.

hungryhippo · March 2012

shanrob:
I can totally relate. I think on some level, our psyche just won't let us be upset/sad All.The.Time. We have to handle more than most women do, and our minds just have to numb us out from time to time in order to maintain normalcy. It's really quite sad when ya think about it. And on that note, I will be hitting the wine tonight

What time should I come over and how many bottles should I bring?

hungryhippo · March 2012

Rawr08:
I defiantly am numb when it comes to TTC. We are going on 2 years, and at this point we have given up.

((hugs)) I look for your intro on PgAL sometimes, you know.

Can I ask- when you decided to NTNP until further notice, was it because you arrived at "giving up"? If so, in the meantime did you cycle in and out of indifference? Or was it more like once you reached indifference, you never went back to "wanting it" like before?

Becoming numb about TTC, normal?

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